Poem: paper-thin apologies

This is a poem I wrote tonight. I wasn’t planning to, neither did I think I was going to write one at all. But I did, and I wanted to post it on the blog. Not the best thing I’ve written, yet not the worst either. Enjoy.

Submerged with all these fears

They look through her like glass

Eyes stained with cruelty and spite

You find your way through the cracks

Of her broken mind

Like the river of tears

That fills her eyes

And runs down her face

Mila. Xo

Anxious Mind

That feeling when you have things to do tomorrow, but your racing mind has other plans. Honestly, this anxiety has been weighing heavy on me.

All I want right now is some clarity, peace of mind and to know some people are okay.

Sundays are usually the best part of the week, but it’s been very bittersweet.

Faith definitely has kept me grounded in times where I’ve struggled the most.

Grateful for the Lord, my family, my friends and more. Have gratitude for all things in life.

Mila. Xo

Scared To Fail

We all have our fears, and those moments of being scared to fail. Whether it’s work related, academically or any other challenge we face as life progresses on.

Truth be told, people achieve things at different stages of life, and that’s okay. We don’t all have it figured out at 18, 25, or even in our 30’s.

In the society we currently find ourselves a part of, we’ve been conditioned to believe that success is measured in the superficial, idealistic and materialistic.

Yes, some might be more knowledgeable, confident and perhaps better equipped than others. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s contribution as a whole is not as important.

The idea that we’re only worthy of a decent life if we work more hours than our mind can handle, and we look a certain way, act a certain way. Keeping up appearances might be sustainable in the short-term, but the facade of it all will come crashing down, eventually.

Don’t even get me started on how much I can’t stand the hypocrisy of equality and the lack of it in society. We have a lot of laws in place about treating people fairly, but so much of it is just empty words at this point.

Nothing is ever what it appears to be, I know that much.

Different rules apply for different people, which has been in plain sight for many years. We have a long way to go until we achieve any kind of fairness in the world. There’s a lot to work on, and only time will tell how that goes.

When some people say “reality is stranger than fiction”, it’s safe to say, you’re right. If the world needs more of anything, I can think of quite a few things.

The world needs more compassion, fairness, love, empathy, kindness.

I just hope humanity changes for the better.

Mila. Xo

Out Of Place

Societal pressures and the irony of so-called “encouragement” when it comes to being your authentic self is a lot for anyone.

Feeling out of place can weigh heavy on your mind. We’re told our differences make us unique, and that humanity is evolving and becoming more equal, but is it really?

The hypocrisy of it all. If I’m being completely honest, not much has changed.

Yes, there’s been improvements along the way, but we have a long way to go until the world is a more equal, kind place.

Toxicity is all around us; the places we work, the people we know. As much as I strive to be enthusiastic, there comes a time where you see it all for how it is.

It’s so confusing to live in a world where individuality is either praised or not accepted.

When all you want is to just be you, but other people make that so difficult.

The game of life is hard to play, you never know what’s going to happen next. All you can do is hope that it will all be okay.

One day, the puzzle pieces will fall into place and maybe, a bit of peace will come from that.

Who knows. Anyway, I hope I’m not rambling, although this was something I wanted to talk about today.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Mila. Xo

Three Years: Poetry Book Anniversary

This will be a slightly different entry on the blog, which I’m slightly nervous about. I rarely do this, if ever, but I’ll be sharing the links to both of my little poetry collections at the end of this post, to celebrate the third anniversary of my second writing project, A Cryptic Human Entity.

It’s been a journey, a lot has been going on since then, not necessarily of the creative sense, although, I look forward to the next chapter of my writing’s progression/era.

A Cryptic Human Entity in particular, that collection means a lot to me. It was the first time I’d felt brave enough to show a lot of poems that were darker, many of which I always wanted to make public in some way.

When that project was being created, I was still coming to terms with the passing of my grandmother almost two years prior, there were a lot of suppressed emotions and feelings. I definitely wanted to get out of my comfort zone, no matter how uncomfortable it made me feel.

It was an emotional experience, but so liberating at the same time.

Hard to believe it’s been three years already. I still remember how happy I felt receiving my copies of the finished product in the mail. I’ll never forget that moment.

Said this many times before, but I do understand that I’m not the best at writing, yet I will say that I write for me, first and foremost. If anyone likes it at all, it’ll always be so appreciated.

I’ve spent too long seeking approval from others, and the older I get, the more I am finding confidence and acceptance within myself. I am a work in progress, and so are my thoughts, feelings, emotions and poetry/stories.

As mentioned at the beginning of this post, I’ll leave the links to A Cryptic Human Entity & Lay Your Hands Bare down below, feel free to take a look (or not) and thank you in advance.

https://www.blurb.co.uk/b/8737840-a-cryptic-human-entity
https://www.blurb.co.uk/b/8193531-lay-your-hands-bare

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Happy Sunday!

Mila. Xo

Journey Of Acceptance

Do you ever hear or see something that leaves you in a deep train of thought for the rest of the evening? That’s so me tonight.

I think I’ve managed to navigate my emotions to a happier place, for the time being. How long that will last, who knows, but I appreciate it and try to embrace it.

Emotions can be so complex and hard to navigate, process and understand in a logical way. Truth be told, that has been me many times.

As I’m getting older, the appreciation for my strength during the darkest of times has only increased. It reminds me that life is a journey, and healing of any kind takes a lot of patience.

Wasn’t planning to talk about this, but I felt compelled to.

All I can say is: take your time, it’ll get better.

That’s all for today, stay safe.

Mila. Xo

Sunday Solitude

After some needed rest, time to eat and unwind, I wanted to get on the blog and talk for a minute.

Writing late wasn’t what I had in mind for today, but at least I am writing.

I truly wish the weekend would last longer, it feels so short.

Sunday has still been good, cooking and gathering my thoughts ahead of the new week starting.

Got hair lightener in my hair currently, so going to bed is probably not going to happen anytime soon.

Been so nostalgic from music too, heard songs that reminded me of better times, a different space.

Listening to songs that you haven’t heard in years can be so bittersweet.

It’s even worse when it reminds you of people you don’t speak to anymore, and the places you used to live.

All that aside, life is a journey.

Have a good Sunday.

Mila. Xo

Grief Is Complicated

Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.


Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.

Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.

Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.

When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.

All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.


Mila. Xo

Impulsive Moments & Rational Conclusions

Sometimes, taking a moment to think before we do or say something is the difference between wrong and right choices in life. At times, I can find myself being impulsive, in terms of buying certain things or making a change somehow (hair bleach sessions included)

Almost bleached my hair earlier, funnily enough. Until I styled my hair in a different way, which made me appreciate my brunette, messy curls. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, so I’m looking forward to that.

Faith is such a big part of my daily life, more so with each day that passes by. Makes me so grateful for the people in my life and the positive changes that have occurred in recent years. And I also believe it keeps me close to my late grandmother. In May, it’ll be the fifth anniversary of her passing and that’s so surreal.

I just hope I make her proud, on this complicated journey of life and experiences.

Mila. Xo

Long Weekend

Happy Friday, to all of you. I hope it’s been a good start to your weekend.

Found myself taking naps a lot during the day, I felt like it was needed, and now here I am, making another late night addition to the blog. This has been such a wonderful Friday, a good one indeed.

As it’s Good Friday, I definitely wanted to spend some time reflecting, nurturing my mind and soul with mindful thinking and it’s very beneficial, in a lot of ways.

I feel so blessed to have my family and friends in my life, they are the most important people ever, when things change and we can see each other again, in a more consistent way, things will definitely improve for the better.

Mila. Xo