Back At It: Hiatus Over

Hello again, what a long time it has been since my last upload on the blog.

I wasn’t planning to have a hiatus of this length, but it is what it is and I am back with a vengeance.

Truthfully, I have struggled with writer’s block a lot for many months, even years at this point.

Life has been all over the place, so have my emotions. Not being able to convey or express how I’ve been feeling has affected me quite heavily.

I put a lot of pressure on myself in all aspect of life, whether it is my appearance or what my poems are about. The hunger for perfection is insatiable, to put it bluntly.

Creativity has always had a big place in my mind, heart and soul. So to feel like nothing I did was good enough was very taxing on my mental health and it still is, sometimes.

The goal is to take baby steps, and start off small and build my way back up the ladder once more. It might not always be consistent or on point, but it will be authentic to me and my journey of it all.

Just wanted to say a big thank you to anyone who has followed or just discovered my blog on here. Any engagement I receive is wholeheartedly appreciated. It truly means the world and encourages me to continue, even if I’m not feeling my best.

What are my plans for the months ahead?

As of now, I hope to update the blog at least once a week, if not more. It all depends on life’s schedule and God’s plan for me on this path.

I count my blessings every day that I have good health, a wonderful support system and an overall decent life.

That’s not to say that there won’t be challenges along the way, but I will take that on if the occasion arises.

For the time being, I want to remain present and in tune with the universe so a hiatus like the previous one is out of the question.

Balance is key, which an impatient person like me needs to be reminded of on a daily basis.

It is my hope that I can commence further work on my third poetry collection, and make progress with that as it has been four years since A Cryptic Human Entity.

Well, as of tomorrow it will be the 4th anniversary of that second poetry book and I still cannot fathom it.

The theme for the next book is still up for debate. I feel like a lot has changed and evolved since my initial concept for it, that I might do something completely different.

I have a lot that I want to share and heal from on an emotional level, timing is key too.

There’s a chance I might do a mini version of the next collection, and a full, extended edition of the poetry book next year. So excited to finally start this project in a proper way.

Until then, stay tuned for more updates as I go along. After all, we only have the life God gave us, we need to make every second count.

And also, happy belated 7th anniversary to my pride and joy, this little blog of mine, DAYDREAM MADNESS.

It’s also my birthday in 12 days, how exciting! But anyway, hope you all have an amazing rest of your weekend and I’ll speak to you soon.

Happy Sunday and God bless you all!

Yours truly,

Mila. Xo

Bubble Of Creative Thought

Inspiration comes in the form of many different things. A feeling you can’t quite describe in enough words, but you still try.

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State Of Acceptance

Might be a blog post, or a rant, perhaps a poem that sounds out of sync. We’ll see…

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Poem: paper-thin apologies

This is a poem I wrote tonight. I wasn’t planning to, neither did I think I was going to write one at all. But I did, and I wanted to post it on the blog. Not the best thing I’ve written, yet not the worst either. Enjoy.

Submerged with all these fears

They look through her like glass

Eyes stained with cruelty and spite

You find your way through the cracks

Of her broken mind

Like the river of tears

That fills her eyes

And runs down her face

Mila. Xo

Anxious Mind

That feeling when you have things to do tomorrow, but your racing mind has other plans. Honestly, this anxiety has been weighing heavy on me.

All I want right now is some clarity, peace of mind and to know some people are okay.

Sundays are usually the best part of the week, but it’s been very bittersweet.

Faith definitely has kept me grounded in times where I’ve struggled the most.

Grateful for the Lord, my family, my friends and more. Have gratitude for all things in life.

Mila. Xo

Scared To Fail

We all have our fears, and those moments of being scared to fail. Whether it’s work related, academically or any other challenge we face as life progresses on.

Truth be told, people achieve things at different stages of life, and that’s okay. We don’t all have it figured out at 18, 25, or even in our 30’s.

In the society we currently find ourselves a part of, we’ve been conditioned to believe that success is measured in the superficial, idealistic and materialistic.

Yes, some might be more knowledgeable, confident and perhaps better equipped than others. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s contribution as a whole is not as important.

The idea that we’re only worthy of a decent life if we work more hours than our mind can handle, and we look a certain way, act a certain way. Keeping up appearances might be sustainable in the short-term, but the facade of it all will come crashing down, eventually.

Don’t even get me started on how much I can’t stand the hypocrisy of equality and the lack of it in society. We have a lot of laws in place about treating people fairly, but so much of it is just empty words at this point.

Nothing is ever what it appears to be, I know that much.

Different rules apply for different people, which has been in plain sight for many years. We have a long way to go until we achieve any kind of fairness in the world. There’s a lot to work on, and only time will tell how that goes.

When some people say “reality is stranger than fiction”, it’s safe to say, you’re right. If the world needs more of anything, I can think of quite a few things.

The world needs more compassion, fairness, love, empathy, kindness.

I just hope humanity changes for the better.

Mila. Xo

Out Of Place

Societal pressures and the irony of so-called “encouragement” when it comes to being your authentic self is a lot for anyone.

Feeling out of place can weigh heavy on your mind. We’re told our differences make us unique, and that humanity is evolving and becoming more equal, but is it really?

The hypocrisy of it all. If I’m being completely honest, not much has changed.

Yes, there’s been improvements along the way, but we have a long way to go until the world is a more equal, kind place.

Toxicity is all around us; the places we work, the people we know. As much as I strive to be enthusiastic, there comes a time where you see it all for how it is.

It’s so confusing to live in a world where individuality is either praised or not accepted.

When all you want is to just be you, but other people make that so difficult.

The game of life is hard to play, you never know what’s going to happen next. All you can do is hope that it will all be okay.

One day, the puzzle pieces will fall into place and maybe, a bit of peace will come from that.

Who knows. Anyway, I hope I’m not rambling, although this was something I wanted to talk about today.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Mila. Xo

Three Years: Poetry Book Anniversary

This will be a slightly different entry on the blog, which I’m slightly nervous about. I rarely do this, if ever, but I’ll be sharing the links to both of my little poetry collections at the end of this post, to celebrate the third anniversary of my second writing project, A Cryptic Human Entity.

It’s been a journey, a lot has been going on since then, not necessarily of the creative sense, although, I look forward to the next chapter of my writing’s progression/era.

A Cryptic Human Entity in particular, that collection means a lot to me. It was the first time I’d felt brave enough to show a lot of poems that were darker, many of which I always wanted to make public in some way.

When that project was being created, I was still coming to terms with the passing of my grandmother almost two years prior, there were a lot of suppressed emotions and feelings. I definitely wanted to get out of my comfort zone, no matter how uncomfortable it made me feel.

It was an emotional experience, but so liberating at the same time.

Hard to believe it’s been three years already. I still remember how happy I felt receiving my copies of the finished product in the mail. I’ll never forget that moment.

Said this many times before, but I do understand that I’m not the best at writing, yet I will say that I write for me, first and foremost. If anyone likes it at all, it’ll always be so appreciated.

I’ve spent too long seeking approval from others, and the older I get, the more I am finding confidence and acceptance within myself. I am a work in progress, and so are my thoughts, feelings, emotions and poetry/stories.

As mentioned at the beginning of this post, I’ll leave the links to A Cryptic Human Entity & Lay Your Hands Bare down below, feel free to take a look (or not) and thank you in advance.

https://www.blurb.co.uk/b/8737840-a-cryptic-human-entity
https://www.blurb.co.uk/b/8193531-lay-your-hands-bare

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Happy Sunday!

Mila. Xo

Journey Of Acceptance

Do you ever hear or see something that leaves you in a deep train of thought for the rest of the evening? That’s so me tonight.

I think I’ve managed to navigate my emotions to a happier place, for the time being. How long that will last, who knows, but I appreciate it and try to embrace it.

Emotions can be so complex and hard to navigate, process and understand in a logical way. Truth be told, that has been me many times.

As I’m getting older, the appreciation for my strength during the darkest of times has only increased. It reminds me that life is a journey, and healing of any kind takes a lot of patience.

Wasn’t planning to talk about this, but I felt compelled to.

All I can say is: take your time, it’ll get better.

That’s all for today, stay safe.

Mila. Xo

Sunday Solitude

After some needed rest, time to eat and unwind, I wanted to get on the blog and talk for a minute.

Writing late wasn’t what I had in mind for today, but at least I am writing.

I truly wish the weekend would last longer, it feels so short.

Sunday has still been good, cooking and gathering my thoughts ahead of the new week starting.

Got hair lightener in my hair currently, so going to bed is probably not going to happen anytime soon.

Been so nostalgic from music too, heard songs that reminded me of better times, a different space.

Listening to songs that you haven’t heard in years can be so bittersweet.

It’s even worse when it reminds you of people you don’t speak to anymore, and the places you used to live.

All that aside, life is a journey.

Have a good Sunday.

Mila. Xo