Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.
Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.
Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.
Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.
When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.
All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.
Sometimes, taking a moment to think before we do or say something is the difference between wrong and right choices in life. At times, I can find myself being impulsive, in terms of buying certain things or making a change somehow (hair bleach sessions included)
Almost bleached my hair earlier, funnily enough. Until I styled my hair in a different way, which made me appreciate my brunette, messy curls. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, so I’m looking forward to that.
Faith is such a big part of my daily life, more so with each day that passes by. Makes me so grateful for the people in my life and the positive changes that have occurred in recent years. And I also believe it keeps me close to my late grandmother. In May, it’ll be the fifth anniversary of her passing and that’s so surreal.
I just hope I make her proud, on this complicated journey of life and experiences.
Happy Friday, to all of you. I hope it’s been a good start to your weekend.
Found myself taking naps a lot during the day, I felt like it was needed, and now here I am, making another late night addition to the blog. This has been such a wonderful Friday, a good one indeed.
As it’s Good Friday, I definitely wanted to spend some time reflecting, nurturing my mind and soul with mindful thinking and it’s very beneficial, in a lot of ways.
I feel so blessed to have my family and friends in my life, they are the most important people ever, when things change and we can see each other again, in a more consistent way, things will definitely improve for the better.
I wanted to dedicate this post to my loved ones, because today’s events have really highlighted the importance of gratitude, appreciating the people we know, the memories we have, the time we spend on this Earth.
So incredibly grateful for my faith too, it really keeps me humble, and it brings comfort to my heart in times of anxiety and stress. Bear in mind, this is my own personal experience with religion, and of course, every person’s life experiences are different, we have our individual paths, journeys, ways of coping and all else.
Felt compelled to get my emotions out tonight, it’s been a long day and heavily emotive. I have a lot to say, not everything leaves the draft section of my mind or the notes on my phone, but sharing my thoughts in moments like these, it makes me feel better.
Over the years, I definitely have tried to become a better version of myself, to learn and grow from the past. Each day is different, there’s good days and bad days, as well as all of those in-between.
Learning how to manage and balance all of this is tricky sometimes, that’s the complexity of being human. So, to conclude this post, feel free to share your own feelings and thoughts, let me know what’s going on in your life and what you’re grateful for. God bless you all.
Either I’m getting old or I just really want to sleep early for once. Although, I might end up listening to a podcast episode or two. That and chilled out music can make any evening perfect.
I’ve been exploring book cover ideas for poetry book #3 and I truly believe I have a good idea of what it should look like, so that’s always an interesting development.
Found myself struggling to write much in the last few days, so writing on the blog can help me get out of that creative block, if that makes sense.
Not always, might I add. Having patience can be tough, I’ll get there eventually. It feels like time is passing by so quickly though, it’s scary.
Also, my birthday is in the next few months, like how?
I have no idea if I’ll be able to do anything, might just relax at home on the day. Hard to believe how close I am to the end of my twenties.
As much as getting older is a great thing and should be embraced more, it is slightly bittersweet because we know life doesn’t last forever. Which is why we should appreciate each day, regardless of the struggles we have faced or continue to face.
I’ve said this many times, but Sunday is the best day of the week.
A day to unwind, complete a few household chores and take a moment to relax. Been sleeping a lot too, the extra rest was so necessary.
Hoping to start writing more from tomorrow onwards, I need to get into a consistent schedule. Working on this third poetry book is going to take some time, a journey that I am looking forward to.
This was on my mind for the longest time, honestly.
Had too many creative hiatuses in the past, and there was a long time where I didn’t write much at all, my inspiration just wasn’t there anymore.
It’s tough when you truly have a lot of love for writing and creativity as an outlet. I honestly can’t believe I’ve had this blog for almost 6 years, that is so mad.
As someone who made a lot of old blogs and didn’t update them for long, wrote on different websites anonymously and was relatively low profile until I started publishing poetry independently in 2017, the fact I stayed with this one is something I’m proud of.
DAYDREAM MADNESS is my pride and joy and I look forward to seeing where this will lead in the future. Anything can happen, the sky is not the limit.
Creative blocks are no fun, and I’ve had a lot of them in recent years and months. There’s many ideas, concepts yet no clear vision as to what to create or take from any of mine currently.
I’ll try and spend a little time having a look around, taking the occasional moment to reassure myself that it will all come to mind when the timing is right.
Patience doesn’t always put my thoughts at rest, if anything, frustration multiplies with each attempt. It’s all a work in progress, I’m fully aware.
Daily devotionals are definitely one way that I feel better, after reading one of those each day, same with exercise, some meditation and sometimes, even a bit of singing to brighten the atmosphere.
Also, laughter. I’ve started listening to a lot of podcasts recently, comedy and relatable discussions in particular. Many good ones out there, I must admit.
I don’t think there’s anything else I’d like to add this evening, but perhaps tomorrow I might find a new subject to discuss, whether it’s daily thoughts, a poem I’d like to upload or anything else that I feel would be lovely to share.
Looked at old notes earlier, that I previously wrote and saved to my phone and it’s kind of bittersweet. It’s not very often that I do that, mainly because I end up missing certain people.
Nostalgia is tough sometimes, some memories leave a lasting impression on your mind. Whether that’s good or bad, I don’t know.
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. That’s something I was told a while back, and it’s very true, at least for me.
Although, I do wish I had been slightly more mature than I was years ago, maybe it would have changed how things turned out. The “what if” still haunts me to this day.
Earlier tonight, I found myself wanting to reach out to someone in particular, who I haven’t spoken to in about three years, and a part of me has always wanted that person back in my life.
They were one of my closest friends, we had a complicated connection from the start, but I’ve always been curious about how things would be now, if we had remained close, especially since we’re both older and wiser.
Perhaps, in the near future, we’ll be able to reconnect.
Time definitely heals a lot, but not everything, as much as we would like for that to be reality. I feel like I’m starting to lose my train of thought now, so maybe I should leave it at this for the moment.
Need to get some sleep, but I’ll be back with another post tomorrow afternoon or late evening. Tomorrow is Friday, so glad.
Despite previous hesitation, I’ve decided to follow my instinct and go with my initial vision for poetry book number three. The book title was chosen all the way back in 2019, if I can remember correctly.
At first, I was planning to change the entire concept, but after today’s strange events and the analysis it triggered, it felt right, more than ever, to bring the first vision of this book to life.
I wanted this next project to be centered around healing, the positive changes that arise during a time of self-restoration and the importance of stepping away from unhealthy situations, people, your own personal insecurities and all of the other issues that we face as individuals.
However, in escaping my own comfort zone and talking about the more heavier, less idealistic scenarios and understanding the emotions that come along with it all, I now can feel a sense of peace in the fact that talking about it is part of my healing process and my way of moving forward.
I’m excited to go on this journey again, it’s been a while.
Knowing where to start is a different story, do I start writing first or constructing a book cover? Only time will tell.
Nonetheless, it feels like the right moment in time to begin, and I can’t wait to see what the final outcome of this will look like in the near future.