It’s Mila here, with a new blog post to share, finally.
Haven’t been posting a lot in recent months, I try and not clog up your feeds with too much emotive rambling, or heavy ranting…although, I have been tempted enough times.
Anyway, I hope to resume blogging more frequently soon, I hope.
These past few months have been challenging, to say the very least. A lot of the time, I feel quite overwhelmed. Obstacles everywhere, it just never seems to end, really.
It’s not just your physical body that suffers because of it, but also, your mental health.
To be honest, I haven’t felt this anxious in a LONG time. And, I constantly feel like I’m on the verge of relapse. It scares me often, but obviously, I have been strong enough (kind of) to stay on the right track, for now.
No one truly understands how much it affects me, and it’s easy to tell someone that “you have nothing to be worried about”, but in the end, hearing it makes me worry even more.
With the progress I’ve made in recent years, it bothers me that I’m so emotionally vulnerable. But of course, if someone was in my shoes right now, they’d probably feel the pressure too.
Ever since I was 10 onwards, I had to be mature and responsible. Being the oldest of six kids definitely puts more stress on you to be the perfect, obedient daughter, and successful in every aspect of the word.
Unlike my brother, I wasn’t exceedingly popular with people, unless their objective was to bully me or call me names. The people who know me, they also know of my tendency to remember what others have said or told me, even many years on.
Appearance wise, I didn’t like myself for a long time. I struggled with my weight, bleached my hair a lot of times just to feel included, to feel like I was a different person, and it was fine, until I started to become obsessed with the idea of trying to be perfect.
Of course, I know, that being perfect is not real, or a realistic goal for any person on Earth to aspire to become. It took me a long time to embrace my natural hair, the skin tone I was born with, the voice I have and the other things that make me who I am.
This personal blog has kept me sane many times, and I’m just glad I have it in my life, especially with the hard times to come. I don’t usually talk about all this often, but I sincerely hope that being open about emotions becomes easier as our generation progresses on.
I’ve also begun working on my third book, despite the chaos surrounding my current life and personal circumstances. Never really had the chance to promote A Cryptic Human Entity when I first self-published it back in May, which is something I regret, if anything.
Just wish to escape this horrid comfort zone of mine. I never asked to feel this way.
On another note, feel free to enlighten me with some feedback, and if you’d like to check a brief preview of my second book, you’ll find the link below:
Question of the night: Do you have any fears?