Hello again, everyone! And to the new followers that have appeared recently: Welcome to DAYDREAM MADNESS, a place of honest, complex thoughts expressed by yours truly.
I’m sorry for my lack of activity. It’s been a hectic few weeks, let’s just say that I’m glad to have taken the time to really focus on my wellbeing. I could easily have vented or ranted more than once a day on here, but on a serious note; that’s not what this blog is all about.
Yes, speaking your mind and being honest is not bad, I suppose I’m a really complex person and even I can’t handle my own self at times. We sometimes get on our own nerves too! Typical traits of a Gemini. But back to my point, I want this blog to be about more than just one’s feelings. Self-expression is a great thing, it is way more powerful than others might think it is.
Realistically speaking, I know being a full-time blogger is something I’ll probably never be, or a full-time writer, but a young woman can dream big, right? Hence the blog title! Anyway, you’d be surprised what you can do in this time of age. Can’t tell you how good it feels to be typing away again. It’s been a while since I felt good about putting together a post.
What I need though is a camera, perhaps a photogenic face, book cover making skills and a little more in the savings account, but I do feel that this year will be mine to conquer. Just need a little self-confidence.
It’s so hard though, feeling confident when you’re on minus ten or a hundred. Always easier said than done, trust me. I really am not the kind of person to brag about myself in the slightest. Usually the opposite.
And don’t get me started on the people who only speak to me when they’re bored or there is no one else’s feelings to play with. All it does is hurt me because I thought they were better than that.
What’s worse is when you’re still kind of hoping that you can both be on good terms someday. It’s not that we can’t get along, we do, or at least I thought we did, but we’re either too different, too stubborn to admit that we miss the friendship, or it’s some kind of vicious cycle of mind games.
I deal with your absence to some extent, but I’d be a liar if I said it was easy. Everyone tells me to forget it all, but maybe I refuse to.
I still defend you if someone talks badly about you, your birthday is something I still think about each year. And you’re still the only person I’d ever truly open my heart to.
Whether you dislike me for it or you don’t, I just needed that off my chest once and for all. Not knowing where you stand with someone is hard, and it’s been bothering me for the longest time ever. This is not a declaration of anything except my honest truth to a particular person in mind. And they can take it as they will. But I just need to know closure.
I’ll end this post/open letter by saying that, appreciate the ones around you, don’t take things for granted and just be you and be happy. It’s one of those underrated things in life.