Honestly, where do I even start?

I’m sorry if this seems a tad depressive, or slightly absurd in terms of context
but right now, spilling my heart out on the internet seems like a better opinion.

I’ve had this blog for almost a year now, and it’s a miracle that I didn’t stop posting because, for a while, I struggled to accept that I couldn’t write or didn’t have- any motivation to express. I was very broken for a long time.

That being said, of course it does get better eventually, although not as great as I had perhaps envisioned, let alone what I had hoped it would be by this time in my life.

Life is an endless amount of stress, anxiety, money problems and it’s a repeating cycle
the older we become, the more days we spent losing sleep, losing our minds in the process
and I never truly understood the meaning of all this until I actually became an adult
it definitely has a toll on me, it never fails to make me doubt myself and my decisions consciously. Like a mirror, we constantly have to look at our past and present way of living, which at times, can be a nostalgia crisis and also, a struggle at that.

In all fairness, the chaos of life makes me feel so uneasy, makes me feel sick from worry
being too aware is almost unhealthy because you see the little cracks in the surface of the foundation that others would not, you see the world for how it is in reality, your eyes are open as well as your mind, and sometimes I wish I could leave it all behind to live free of it.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but I guess it’s better than inflicting further harm, whether it is physically, emotionally or mentally. Life is a struggle, regardless.

To the ones who read this, thanks for at least giving it a chance, and the ones who don’t, thank you anyway. I appreciate any feedback I get. Thanks for reading & have a great weekend.

-mc.