After years of wishing to be present at this place, I’m finally here, in what seemed like the longest mission.
But the sad part is, you’re not part of the equation. You’d probably freak out if you knew, or perhaps that’s just me worrying about your reaction.
Being here is odd, wonderful yet strange. We haven’t spoken in over a year, calling you would probably be a bad idea, so I’m pushing my feelings aside and spilling my emotions here instead.
To be honest or just keep thoughts closed, the question spinning inside my mind.
I want to say what I feel, but at the same time, talking on impulse is never a good scenario when your emotions are on full speed.
People always did say that I was a little too vocal about this dear heart of mine, and without too much thought, ended up alienating myself from the ones I cared about the most.
Ultimately, the person on the wrong side of things was me, despite my denials and trials.
Because of my personal insecurities and stupid ways, I lost an important person in my life, someone who stood by me during the hardest moments, not because I deserved it, but because they cared unconditionally.
That’s what I regret the most, losing you.
And it’s not that I desire things to be back to how they were, or how they should have been, but I cannot deny the fact that I miss the friend I knew and loved, and still do.
PS: You’re a bright star in a dim world.
I guess being vocal makes you comfortable. Do what’s best for yourself.
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All you really can do is do what feels right for the individual person.
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