I made so much progress at the start of my journey, but as I took one step back, so did my progress in terms of anxiety. It’s something I’ve battled with and suffered from quite a few years now, but the battle; it never truly ends, no matter what anyone says or thinks.
It’s pretty much like depression, except you’re anything but numb to the fact that it triggers automatically as soon as you want to go out, eat in public, or even simply want to take a walk outside and appreciate the oxygen we breathe and the roads we walk in this life.
Must admit, I thought I was over it when I had the courage to walk alone, stay out late, and didn’t worry about the small things that used to bother the hell out of me, regardless of what. But the truth is, it was in placebo effect mode, and now as I think about it, everything starts making sense. I wasn’t making progress, anything but that.
Denial and winning is two different things, and I was not the winner of this battle yet, I was still on the road to recovery of self and control. I wish it were merely a light-switch.