I’ll probably not write much tonight, but I just wanted to make a quick post on here because I always feel better when I write.
Feeling quite positive, which is a good start.
Got some stuff I need to get done tomorrow, trying not to overthink it, I’m hoping to wake up super early, although it’s already 11pm so my idea of early is different, perhaps.
Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, and it should be good.
I don’t know why, but making phone calls makes me nervous, and I stutter sometimes. It’s easier for me to express myself through prepared notes, than to just think of something straight away.
Depends on the day and what I need to do, but overall, I’m trying to get more used to it. Easier said than done, in my opinion. Let’s see how the rest of the week goes, I need to be optimistic, it is a work in progress though.
Might leave tonight’s post at that, but I will continue to keep writing these daily because I personally enjoy talking about various subjects and how I feel. Self-expression as an outlet is a blessing.
To be consistently productive is something I truly want to be, but for the past few days, I’ve been feeling quite the opposite. It might have to do with my overthinking, to some extent. However, it does vary depending on what I have to do on that particular day.
I’ve struggled with feeling anxious for a long time, although over the years, I do think that I have kept it under control for the most part. It all ties together with past trauma, life has always been slightly chaotic.
Getting older and finding peace within yourself definitely helps a lot, but there are moments where I do feel overwhelmed. We all have our good days and bad days.
This is something I’m honest about, always have been. Suppressing how you feel is not healthy, sometimes it is the only way to function properly. All of these things are complex, but on a positive note, I genuinely feel like I am in a better mindset, overall. Things are not always easy, but nothing ever is.
There’s a chance I might ramble tonight, my emotions have been all over the place, so bear with me. It’s been a rough day, in terms of lacking motivation and not feeling like myself.
One of those days, mother nature does not make things any easier, so there’s that. I managed to get it together later on in the day; did a 30 minute workout, took all my supplements, did my skincare, ate consistently throughout the day, got some new groceries in the morning.
So, all in all, I got through the worst of what I was feeling.
As much as sleeping all day and eating junk was an option, I decided to get on with my daily routine, and stay productive. I’m really glad I did, because I feel a lot better.
Not giving in to temptation is something I’m proud of. In the past, I thought the best way to feel better was to eat junk, distract myself with sleep or binge watch a show or two. All those things are okay to do in moderation, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
I’m trying to teach myself discipline, self-control in terms of food and what I consume on a regular basis. Working on these things is not easy, you don’t change habits overnight, but over time, it becomes easier to manage and keep under control.
You have to dig deep, when it comes to understanding why you do certain things, and the predictable patterns that arise as a result. Once you understand the root cause, that’s when you can properly begin the healing process.
Trauma of any kind is hard to process, and it can take a long time to face it, acknowledge it, be able to speak about it, and also, learn to heal from it and move forward.
Every person’s journey is different, and that’s something I always bear in mind when talking about my own experiences in life, what I’ve been through and how it made me the person I am today.
I think I’ll leave it at that for now, I might elaborate further in future posts on the blog. Excuse the essay tonight, it’s not often I get so invested in what I write, although that is the whole point of DAYDREAM MADNESS.
This is my sanctuary of thought, where I can speak openly and feel a sense of comfort. Writing has always been a powerful outlet for me, it helped me through some dark times, which I’ll be forever grateful for.
Found my motivation lacking a little today, but apart from that, it’s all good.
Might spend the whole night writing, browsing the web for inspiration as I need some right now. Perhaps it’s a good time to start work on the book currently in progress.
Been putting it off for too long.
My concentration is not as good as it once was, one of those things, I suppose. Anyway, I’m rambling now. This happens quite often, although I try and make any post on here meaningful, as complicated as my mind can be sometimes.
The idea that you need to have your life together at a certain time, a certain age, it can all be too much to think about sometimes. We grow up with these idealistic views of what success looks like, what a perfect world entails.
At the young age of 25, I feel increasingly worried about the future. Have I done enough at this age? Am I the odd one out?
It’s not as easy as people think, becoming an overnight success, finding the perfect job, having a perfect forever home. As a whole, society’s standards are difficult to live up to.
Taught to be ourselves, yet persecuted for our differences, our insecurities used as a weapon, people don’t listen to understand, there’s a lack of equality despite all these supposed regulations put in place, to protect us from discrimination, bullying, sexism, racism and many more.
I understand life is not a straightforward experience for the majority of people, but when does it all become too much? And don’t even get me started on the stigma surrounding mental health and the simple yet complex task of asking for help when necessary.
Fake it ’til you make it, or so I’ve been told about a dozen times or more.
Turning a blind eye to your problems is a temporary fix, ignoring them won’t solve anything. Facing them is equally challenging, but the comfort you feel once you do so is a sense of relief, a burden off your shoulders.
Life will get tougher before it gets better, I’m sure.
I just hope the future is much brighter than it has been in these recent weeks, months, even years. After all, you never know what to expect.