The faces are always you, by the looks of it, and I’m tired of pretending like I don’t love that, or the fact you make me ever so smitten, despite the amount of distance between us. It could be years from now and I’d still feel your hologram hand on my shoulder, flickering lights go off in my head and I am alive once again. The day you touched my soul, it turned gold. Memories live on inside of my mind and I don’t think I’ll ever want to forget your effect. As crazy as it seems, you’re a dream come to light, angels and demons would have a fight when it comes to your source of energy. It was a mix of good and bad, the kind of balance anyone would lean over for, would fight all their lives to gain just an ounce of. You see drugs on a table as a bad influence, but not the walking temptations that roam the streets, breaking the hearts of doomed souls for a laugh. Addictions can rise from a simple touch to a captivating smile. Anything or anyone can make you feel alive. Even your worst enemy can give you something you’ve never had, life is full of twists and turns, and we’ll never learn, because that’s a part of our lives, we make a mess, we make amends, but the heart stays true to it’s belief.
This was going to be just a blog full of poems, but I want this to be a mix of topics
& subjects in terms of writing. It’s not all about poetry, you know.
Writing is that addictive hint of mystery, clarity & history in the making.
It’s more than just getting your heart broken and putting thoughts to paper
but it feels like people forget sometimes, more than that
I know I forget the whole meaning of it from time & time
and it feels like a sin, if I can put it lightly.
Ever since I could, I’ve been writing & writing but never that good
& of course, the inspiration wasn’t something I looked for back then
but I definitely understood it more as I began my teenage years.
Looking back at my past work is sometimes a difficult task.
I find myself broken-hearted, anxious, scared & hurting once again
I’m in a simulation of the past; feeling all my fear coming back to life
all the memories flood back like a sea coming back & over the shore
there are things I like about it all, there are things I’d like to forget
& sometimes there are things I wish I could erase & paint a better memory.
But there’s a lot I’m grateful for, when it comes to this:
1. The struggles helped me change for the better.
2. I overcame my demons even though I struggle at times.
3. Fear no longer consumes me like it once did.
Those are only a few of the things, but I could definitely state more.
Sometimes we have to be lost in the dark in order to find our purpose.
It’s been a long time to forbid emotions to run like a water tap
love drips all into my heart and I am lost for words
mainly because it’s drowning in lust
The image of yours is stuck in my brain like a virus
I can’t get rid of you nor do I want to erase you
from my heart, or my brain, or my dreams
I am taken aback by these strong waves of depth
intense nostalgia running through my head
forever lost in standing time.
I simply can’t get you out of my head
& I wonder if I ever will at this point
a single thought of you drives me insane
with desire to kiss & tell about your soul
magnificent piece of art
whom consumes my mind
you’re like the tattoo I don’t have yet
an image in my head that I’m obsessed with
you’re like the book I haven’t gotten to read
yet the cover is stuck in my head
you’re like the sun that hasn’t shined
yet the rays of light is what I need
you’re like the bad habit I’m currently fighting against
yet it makes me feel so alive whilst losing my breath
you’re the soulmate I wish I could have held
yet I know I can’t look back on damaged love
you’re the world I want to see and explore
but I know I probably won’t see it all
I’m sick of many things, including my love for you
yet it’s the only thing that makes me want to be alive
and try a bit harder to succeed in this path of life
I see you as my world, my sun, my moon
my good, my bad, my heart
my love, my all.
I’m again thinking of the moments of youth
I now wish I had a hold of
the hours turned into years
I found myself encountering fears
& now I have a whole new look at life
I am so glad to have blossomed
into the flower I needed to be
independent and strong
like a young woman should be.
3 days until my teenage reign is officially over and I’m old.
I’m not sure how to feel; although my current pain is one thing
it’s been a difficult few years of lust, heartbreak and anxious moments
but I thank the people and struggle for changing me for the better
never thought I’d ever be saying that but here I am.
Turning 20 is a big deal for me, I was a lost soul for so long
and I was sure I wouldn’t make it through a lot of my problems
but I’m glad life is changing for the better & I’m healing.
When life was at a terrible point, it consumed me
and made me feel like nothing would ever change
I was depressed, suicidal, hurting myself, crying constantly
always living as if though I was an empty shell of a being.
I never openly discuss much, except in poetry
but I figured it would be good to explain my battles
and explain how that particular pain changed me
and how I also changed myself into the person I am today
Without these battles, I wouldn’t have fought this
I wouldn’t have said “enough”, and recovered slowly
I wouldn’t have made an effort with any of it
I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading this
but this is just me opening my heart to you
and hoping this will give you an insight
into the person I am and I continue to be.
A poem by me:
There’s a song in my head but it doesn’t exist yet
Perhaps the bittersweet melody of life,
That others like to describe.
Or the nostalgic beat of a broken heart’s skip on repeat,
Regardless of the content; I am forever smitten.
Either by your smile, or the haze of false hope,
Whatever it is, it’s in the back of my mind.
I’m simply a young woman with a passion for poetry and writing, and it’s been this way for as long as I can remember. My goal is to publish a book of poems and share pieces
of my own being with others. And to inspire others to not give up on their dreams.