Author Archives: Mila Christiansen

Welcome to DAYDREAM MADNESS, my sanctuary of thought and peace of mind. A personal blog with a difference. I'm Mila, the creator/writer behind the scenes. Join me on this journey of self-growth, emotive reflection and occasional poetry from yours, truly.

Narrative Of A Distant Stranger

With each hiatus, the guilt intensifies. It used to be less complicated, when it came to knowing what to say. It’s like staring in the mirror and not recognizing the face looking back. Call it writer’s blues, an obstacle of sorts, or something else along the lines of that.

Either way, there is a level of comfort in coming back, with a clear head, mindset in a better place. Struggles will come and go, as will many things, including people, memories, experiences and time.

Inspiration and motivation really does come at weird times. It’s almost five in the morning and for some reason, it felt like the right time to sit down with this little notebook on my lap, and just start expressing my thoughts.

Better late (or early) than never, I suppose. Also, I am not entirely sure what the title of this blog post represents, it just sounded nice. Maybe I just used it because I didn’t want to forget it?

It could make a good poetry concept, in the near future. We’ll see, though.

Speaking of poetry, I’ve really been slacking with this third project of mine. For a while now, something didn’t feel right anymore and I think a lot of it has to do with the overall theme of deceit and betrayal. Is it worth pursuing? Of course, there’s a time and place for all things emotive.

Only time will tell what I decide to do, a shift in themes might be good for my mind and soul. Food for thought, honestly. We all need a clean slate.

A little tired at this point, trying not to ramble. There might be some physical changes to the blog soon, not sure yet. I feel like it needs some love and care after being absent for months. A bit of change is therapeutic. For example, I recently cut my hair short and I am loving the current length.

The main reason why I did it was to let my hair recover from years of bleaching, dyeing, and heat styling. If my patience wears away, I might find myself becoming a blonde again by the end of this horrific year. Who knows, I make no solid promises to stay the same.

As I end this blog post, I want to thank the ones who have supported this blog throughout. The world needs more people like you.

Take care, stay safe.


Mila. Xo

Last Day Of 24, Hello 25!

Hello again, blogging universe.

I am finally back with a new blog post, after what feels like a lifetime of not being able to express my thoughts out in the open.

It’s less than an hour until midnight, and my birthday is around the corner. Yes, the big 2-5. I know, not as special as someone’s 21st or 30th and so forth, but I wanted to get back into writing again, and tonight felt like the right time to do so.

To say that I have been creatively blocked is an understatement. In fact, I have found it increasingly difficult to express myself in the written form.

To whoever reads my post, thank you for sticking around. I plan to make an effort in the months to come. My third poetry book is still a work in progress, I’m working on a lot of things at the moment, much of it has to do with learning to find balance and peace.

But, as I’m sure most poeple know, it can be hard. The older I get, the more I have gratitude for the small things that make life so wonderful. The good, bad and ugly.

With time, you definitely learn to see things from a different perspective, the clarity can be very bittersweet at times, but that’s a part of our journey.

I am so grateful for the people who are in my life at this moment. You are truly magnificent.

Anyway, excuse my rambling on. I’m just thrilled to be here. My beloved blog recently turned 5, on the 13th of May and I often find it strange how fast time has gone by.

I’ll end this post by saying: take care of yourself, and have a wonderful day/night.

Mila. Xo

Does Creativity Sleep? The Answer Is No

Inspiration can strike at any given time or place. Expected and unexpected.

Truth be told, I have often found myself waking up in the middle of a dream or short-lived nap, and suddenly, having this need to express what I have seen or felt during this particular state of mind.

My thoughts are complex, but not always.

Anyway, I’m hoping to sleep at some point in the night, so I wish you all the best, and sleep well (or good morning to the ones just waking up)

Take care,

Mila. Xo

Cursed Is The Girl

People always used to tell me, that a creative child usually becomes a troubled adult.

Well, I used to dismiss the theory. It seemed cliché to me, at least, during my teenage years.

Maybe, that was the denial talking. I’ve always wanted to get down to the root cause, but there has been many examples of it.

I often find myself too involved, the mind can play tricks if you allow it, but it can also help you untangle past behaviors, patterns that seem to align, things you simply can’t shake off.

If my brain was an internal drive, which in many ways, it is, I doubt it would be in a solid state.

As technology progresses, I hope it evolves in a way that changes lives and enhances their sense of knowledge in more ways than just one or the other.

The other thing I find myself worrying about, is the high expectations on my shoulders and the validation that comes along with it, or lack of, if I’m honest.

Inside The Box

I’m a little hesitant about tomorrow. I know I probably shouldn’t be, yet in the back of my mind, I am.

The little whispers of self-doubt can be hard to ignore. I am my own worst enemy at times, I kid you not.

But, with small steps and a lot of pushing myself into the right direction, I’m hoping that I will conquer some of these thoughts in due time.

Of course, you have to be realistic with it. I’ll definitely try my hardest to have an open mind, yet cautious brain.

Caged Dreams, Hidden Ambitions

To have an ambitious heart, full of hopes and dreams, it is a pity that I’m full of these fears about the future.

As obvious as it might be, trying to distance yourself from them is a lot harder than meets the eye.

The easy way would probably be to blank them out until the denial kicks in, and you believe your own misguided words.

Or, to acknowledge the way you feel and how these fears make you feel or react – equally petrifying, in my opinion.

Hoping For Better Days

I do find myself focused on gratitude, more often than previously.

Off to sleep shortly, and I’m hoping for a clearer mind and inspired heart tomorrow.

There’s a lot to be grateful for, and I’m trying not to forget that. May you all have a blessed night, or day, depending on your timezone.

Love,

Mila.

Existence & Purpose

When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?

I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.

Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.

On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.

It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.

To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.

Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.

To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.

I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.

Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.

Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.

Love,

Mila. Xo

High Expectations And Validation From Within

This has been a constant note to self since 2020 began, almost two weeks ago. You don’t need validation from others to be happy.

It doesn’t mean you’re not going to try and get it from other people, or find peace of mind in it. I often compare it to an abyss, the anxieties and self-doubt that comes from the need of validation is not at all helpful.

So many times, I have felt in need of it, and I still don’t understand why, and sure, there are people who have different qualities and different skills, comparing myself to them will only hold me back from achieving what I know in my heart, that I am capable of. It is easier said than done, but with enough patience and faith, anything is possible. And it will happen, when it is meant to.

Until then, I’ll just have to be patient and kind to myself.

The Human Experience

My blog was created almost five years ago, it’s amazing how it has shaped my life in many ways. I used to write all the time, staying awake late thinking about new theme layouts and blog post ideas. Those were the days of limitless creativity.

If anything, I’d love to go back to that. I also hope it will guide me through the writing process for my next poetry book. It might take months, or even years to finish my current project, but in the meantime, just updating my blog consistently and breaking free of the recurring periods of writer’s block.

All you can do is encourage, yet allow that creative mind to express and create at its own pace. I am definitely an impatient person, depending on the situation, of course.

It’s only the beginning, and I have so much left to give. I won’t give up.