Existence & Purpose

When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?

I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.

Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.

On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.

It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.

To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.

Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.

To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.

I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.

Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.

Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.

Love,

Mila. Xo

The Human Experience

My blog was created almost five years ago, it’s amazing how it has shaped my life in many ways. I used to write all the time, staying awake late thinking about new theme layouts and blog post ideas. Those were the days of limitless creativity.

If anything, I’d love to go back to that. I also hope it will guide me through the writing process for my next poetry book. It might take months, or even years to finish my current project, but in the meantime, just updating my blog consistently and breaking free of the recurring periods of writer’s block.

All you can do is encourage, yet allow that creative mind to express and create at its own pace. I am definitely an impatient person, depending on the situation, of course.

It’s only the beginning, and I have so much left to give. I won’t give up.

Benefit Of The Doubt

In all my years of trying to find the right words to say, it has never been so clear to me before.

This journey of mine was a test, it continues to be.

And there is no doubt in my mind that people will continue to analyze my quiet and reserved nature.

They’ll pick it apart, piece by piece. I definitely will be under a microscope.

However, there is a lot people will underestimate. My cautious sense of instinct, I observe you without even saying a word.

It takes a complex life to understand the complexity of others around you.

Sure, I don’t have a degree, but my knowledge of the ones around me is on point. You think I have no voice, think again.

Stress, Poor Health & Milestones (250 Followers!)

Hello again! It’s been a while. Sorry for my lack of activity in the past week. 

I really wanted to update my blog sooner, but recently, my poor health and Continue reading “Stress, Poor Health & Milestones (250 Followers!)”

The Broken People Are Still Worthy

People have strong points and weaknesses. It’s not a crime to feel happy or sad and it’s not wrong to feel the emotion that we do.

This is what makes us human, even vulnerable at times. But it should never define you as a person.

Often enough, people like to point out that I don’t have a job, even though there’s a personal reason why, that my anxiety was and still is just another word for “lazy”, and that my depressive tendencies were an excuse to stay locked inside my own thoughts.

But the truth is, some people find a twisted pleasure in my failed attempts of independence. When something goes wrong or I personally feel terrible, it’s their joy in life.

I’m a known introvert, perhaps a social outcast, definitely a loser in some people’s eyes. But, there’s always a reason for my melancholy state of mind. Of course, it’s easier to judge me than display compassion.

All I can say is, a person’s pain is not something to laugh at. We all have different situations and complicated lives.

Listen to your family, cherish the loyal friends in your life, have long talks with the ones you know and love. Don’t abuse trust for a minute of gossip.