Late Night Planning

I always seem to be writing at 11:00pm and onwards, feels like a bad habit at this point.

Nonetheless, over the weekend, I’m going to try and sleep a tiny bit more and prepare for my second level Math course that’s starting on Monday.

To be honest, I haven’t done much revision for it, although it’s not too different from the previous level. Can’t wait to receive my other qualification in the post too.

Beginning to appreciate numbers as much as I love words.

Hard to believe we’re in week two of January. Where did the time go?

Is it just me, or does anyone feel like time is passing by a lot quicker than previously? Lockdown is one thing, but I don’t know, I’m very curious.


Mila. Xo

Quick Write For Tonight



I figured I would create a little post before I forget. It’s been so great to write every day and to end my streak of inspiration now would be a total waste.

It’s wonderful not to be plagued by writer’s block anymore, or at least not as much of it as I used to have. Sometimes, I suppose, you can get caught up in life’s constant pace of change and stress. Also, writing at night seems to be my time to let it be known.

Not sure if being a midnight owl again is going to benefit me in the long run, but I feel like myself again, in a strange way. Typing away to my heart’s content. A comforting time, in spite of current events in the world and home, one of the many differences in lockdown, third time around.

Had quite the productive day, dealt with the most important household chores, made sure to eat and stay hydrated. I’ve found the strength to get through the changing of habits, in which I wanted to sort out for the longest time.

This has been an interesting week, if I’m honest. Staying on the right track of things might be hard at times, but with determination and a positive mindset, I feel confident that I can do this.

Before I end my little post on the blog, I just want to say thank you to anyone who reads what I have to say on here. This has always been a sanctuary for my thoughts and opinions, hopefully it can be of some comfort for you too.

Writing has been a passion of mine for years, more than ever in times of hardship. It’s kind of like an online journal of sorts, it’s always comforting to have a safe space, whether it’s a journal, a blog or any other kind of platform.

Stay safe, everyone.


Mila. Xo

Toxicity Of Social Media



What a chaotic day in the world, to be honest.

Violence is never the answer, and that’s something I truly stand by, in times of great difficulty and turmoil. That being said, there are people with good intentions, and people with bad intentions. Sometimes, it can be hard to distinguish one from the other.

It only shows the true colors of society, humanity as we know it is on thin ice. It’s 2021 and there’s still a lot to accomplish until we can honestly say that change has occurred. Until then, only time will tell what happens next.

At times, I’m glad I often refrain from reading every article out there, all the fear and pain of the world can be a lot to bear on one’s shoulders. Hopefully, as we evolve as human beings, society’s thoughts and views will too.

The toxicity of social media can be very damaging, a limited amount is just enough to go about your daily life. Of course, there are many pros and cons to any platform or website: censorship (we all know there needs to be boundaries but too much is too much), algorithms that are flawed, news that is not always as great as it could be. I could go on, but I’m sure everyone knows what I mean.

I’ve never understood the ones who are submerged in the waters of their online presence. Of course, there are many great things and people that have emerged from the digital world, but there’s also a lot of negativity, unnecessary hatred, bullying, discrimination and lack of equality.

We need more love and kindness in the world. Empathy lacks and so does accountability and gratitude. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, which makes today even more important to appreciate. Better late than never, I say.

I wish all of you nothing but the best and I hope you’re staying safe.


Mila. Xo

Living In The Now For A While

So good to finally be updating DAYDREAM MADNESS yet again…

It’s been more quiet than usual on this blog, but it’s only because I have been on antibiotics since Monday. Not going to lie, the side-effects have been awful at times.

Continue reading “Living In The Now For A While”

Losing You Was My Mistake, An Open Letter To An Old Love

After years of wishing to be present at this place, I’m finally here, in what seemed like the longest mission.

But the sad part is, you’re not part of the equation. You’d probably freak out if you knew, or perhaps that’s just me worrying about your reaction.

Being here is odd, wonderful yet strange. We haven’t spoken in over a year, calling you would probably be a bad idea, so I’m pushing my feelings aside and spilling my emotions here instead.

To be honest or just keep thoughts closed, the question spinning inside my mind.

I want to say what I feel, but at the same time, talking on impulse is never a good scenario when your emotions are on full speed.

People always did say that I was a little too vocal about this dear heart of mine, and without too much thought, ended up alienating myself from the ones I cared about the most.

Ultimately, the person on the wrong side of things was me, despite my denials and trials.

Because of my personal insecurities and stupid ways, I lost an important person in my life, someone who stood by me during the hardest moments, not because I deserved it, but because they cared unconditionally.

That’s what I regret the most, losing you.

And it’s not that I desire things to be back to how they were, or how they should have been, but I cannot deny the fact that I miss the friend I knew and loved, and still do.

PS: You’re a bright star in a dim world.

a poem for the soul

In life, it feels like the superficial reality of it poisons our system
I never understood what seemed wonderful about lying to yourself.

Continue reading “a poem for the soul”

what getting older taught me about life

Today, I would like to discuss something that I’ve always been passionate speaking about.
It’s about how getting older taught me valuable lessons in life, past & presently as well.

For most people, life begins as soon as you start breathing.
Mostly, it’s true and I agree with certain parts to an extent.
However, I felt like it didn’t truly begin until I was old enough to
understand the difference between living and existing, that’s when I
felt my life really started making sense, for the first time in my whole existence.

It sounds a little far-fetched, and perhaps that’s how I see it,
but the definition of life is different for everyone and I can’t even say that
enough times. In my personal experience, what getting older taught me the most is
that life is never as complicated as we might imagine it’d be.
And I say this in my own experience of it, not anyone else’s.
Anyway…getting older taught me to always respect the ones present in life
(except the ones who least deserve it, I let them go) and to never take anything
for granted because the existence of life is never guaranteed. In this age of time,
some of us forget how fragile life is in reality, and how easily it can be taken away
without a single thought. I know this because I lost my dear grandmother this year.
Getting older also helped me learn many valuable lessons,
such as, never count the days in which you live, but count the amount of good energy
that surrounds it, and the amount of wonderful moments created in that space of time.
For me, poetry was always the shoulder to cry on, the support always needed,
which is a big reason why I am putting together a book of poems from my heart,
creating good out of bad experiences, memories I’d rather forget and so forth.
It makes the work more authentic and personal in that sense.‎

breaking points

okdIt starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.

What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.

I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?

 

triple threat

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Been so inspired today, it got me thinking about book ideas & what I want it all to be like.
Continue reading “triple threat”

the day after

found myself writing a lot now, I don’t know if it’s out of guilt for abandoning my blog or if it’s because I have all these emotions I need to get out of my system in a decent expressive way.

I find myself rambling on, not caring if anyone gives a damn because the only opinion that should matter is my own, but at the same time, validation of my own words will always weigh heavy on my mind regardless.

if only I could live without a care in the world. there’s a lot of me I don’t show the people I love, the darker, the twisted parts of my personality that I simply hide between poetry and numbness.

I know it’ll never amount to complete and utter success, and that clichéd poets rarely find their mark on people’s lives, but my heart wants none but soul and heartfelt connection.