nostalgia bites

It’s been a long time to forbid emotions to run like a water tap
love drips all into my heart and I am lost for words
mainly because it’s drowning in lust

The image of yours is stuck in my brain like a virus
I can’t get rid of you nor do I want to erase you
from my heart, or my brain, or my dreams

I am taken aback by these strong waves of depth
intense nostalgia running through my head
forever lost in standing time.

dying for a touch of paradise

I simply can’t get you out of my head
& I wonder if I ever will at this point

a single thought of you drives me insane
with desire to kiss & tell about your soul

magnificent piece of art
whom consumes my mind

madness called unconditional love

you’re like the tattoo I don’t have yet
an image in my head that I’m obsessed with

you’re like the book I haven’t gotten to read
yet the cover is stuck in my head

you’re like the sun that hasn’t shined
yet the rays of light is what I need

you’re like the bad habit I’m currently fighting against
yet it makes me feel so alive whilst losing my breath

you’re the soulmate I wish I could have held
yet I know I can’t look back on damaged love

you’re the world I want to see and explore
but I know I probably won’t see it all

I’m sick of many things, including my love for you
yet it’s the only thing that makes me want to be alive
and try a bit harder to succeed in this path of life

I see you as my world, my sun, my moon
my good, my bad, my heart
my love, my all.

last hours

I’m again thinking of the moments of youth
I now wish I had a hold of

the hours turned into years
I found myself encountering fears
& now I have a whole new look at life
I am so glad to have blossomed
into the flower I needed to be

independent and strong
like a young woman should be.

shades of life

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3 days until my teenage reign is officially over and I’m old.
I’m not sure how to feel; although my current pain is one thing
it’s been a difficult few years of lust, heartbreak and anxious moments
but I thank the people and struggle for changing me for the better
never thought I’d ever be saying that but here I am.

Turning 20 is a big deal for me, I was a lost soul for so long
and I was sure I wouldn’t make it through a lot of my problems
but I’m glad life is changing for the better & I’m healing.

When life was at a terrible point, it consumed me
and made me feel like nothing would ever change
I was depressed, suicidal, hurting myself, crying constantly
always living as if though I was an empty shell of a being.

I never openly discuss much, except in poetry
but I figured it would be good to explain my battles
and explain how that particular pain changed me
and how I also changed myself into the person I am today

Without these battles, I wouldn’t have fought this
I wouldn’t have said “enough”, and recovered slowly
I wouldn’t have made an effort with any of it

I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading this
but this is just me opening my heart to you
and hoping this will give you an insight
into the person I am and I continue to be.

Poem: Back Of Mind

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A poem by me:

There’s a song in my head but it doesn’t exist yet
Perhaps the bittersweet melody of life,
That others like to describe.

Or the nostalgic beat of a broken heart’s skip on repeat,
Regardless of the content; I am forever smitten.

Either by your smile, or the haze of false hope,
Whatever it is, it’s in the back of my mind.