I’m again thinking of the moments of youth
I now wish I had a hold of
the hours turned into years
I found myself encountering fears
& now I have a whole new look at life
I am so glad to have blossomed
into the flower I needed to be
independent and strong
like a young woman should be.
3 days until my teenage reign is officially over and I’m old.
I’m not sure how to feel; although my current pain is one thing
it’s been a difficult few years of lust, heartbreak and anxious moments
but I thank the people and struggle for changing me for the better
never thought I’d ever be saying that but here I am.
Turning 20 is a big deal for me, I was a lost soul for so long
and I was sure I wouldn’t make it through a lot of my problems
but I’m glad life is changing for the better & I’m healing.
When life was at a terrible point, it consumed me
and made me feel like nothing would ever change
I was depressed, suicidal, hurting myself, crying constantly
always living as if though I was an empty shell of a being.
I never openly discuss much, except in poetry
but I figured it would be good to explain my battles
and explain how that particular pain changed me
and how I also changed myself into the person I am today
Without these battles, I wouldn’t have fought this
I wouldn’t have said “enough”, and recovered slowly
I wouldn’t have made an effort with any of it
I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading this
but this is just me opening my heart to you
and hoping this will give you an insight
into the person I am and I continue to be.
A poem by me:
There’s a song in my head but it doesn’t exist yet
Perhaps the bittersweet melody of life,
That others like to describe.
Or the nostalgic beat of a broken heart’s skip on repeat,
Regardless of the content; I am forever smitten.
Either by your smile, or the haze of false hope,
Whatever it is, it’s in the back of my mind.