Existence & Purpose

When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?

I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.

Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.

On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.

It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.

To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.

Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.

To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.

I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.

Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.

Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.

Love,

Mila. Xo

Cluttered Set Of Emotions

If hoarding emotions and thoughts was a skill, I’d be a professional at this point in time. Hoping it will become easier as months goes by, and all of that.

To be honest, my writing has definitely impacted somewhat. You analyze yourself and others too much, as well as your surroundings and patterns.

Hard to believe we’re almost two weeks into the New Year, I’ve had a semi-productive timeline as of recent. It’ll pick up eventually, and so will the motivation and inspiration to do bigger and better things with my mind.

Reflection is good, to some extent. Just don’t overdo it, you’ll thank me later.

There is a lot I have to learn, and accept about myself. Bad habits, that one might need to take a second look at. A lot of books I want to read, places I want to visit and appreciate. Nostalgia seems to have hit me , ever so discreetly.

It’s also nearly four years without my grandmother, I am always in disbelief about this. Feels like yesterday when I held her hand, that last smile has replayed in my mind, more times than I can count. Her strength through it all has definitely played a major part. All I want to do is make my guardian angel proud.

Balancing Your Vision With A Dose Of Reality

The introvert is finally in her space of harmony and peace. It’s been a while, I’m not the best multi-tasker out there, but damn, I certainly try my best with it all.

Writing used to be something I focused on completely, so these random and unpredictable weeks of hibernation and writer’s block, they are not my cup of tea. I prefer the strong essence of inspiration!

Hoping to start work on my third book of poetry this year, as well. With the chaos of last year, I barely had the time to promote my last project, which I was incredibly proud to self-publish.

I do wish things had been different, but that’s life at times, I suppose. It is a mess, you just have to get on with the next thing. And to be fair, I am my own worst critic. So, when someone wants to fill me in on their opinion of my work or myself, I already had the tough exterior to begin with.

Not feeling good enough can be the worst, but I’ll talk about that more in depth, at a later date. Until then, take care of you, and remember to write!

Mila, xo