strength

Back At It: Hiatus Over

Hello again, what a long time it has been since my last upload on the blog.

I wasn’t planning to have a hiatus of this length, but it is what it is and I am back with a vengeance.

Truthfully, I have struggled with writer’s block a lot for many months, even years at this point.

Life has been all over the place, so have my emotions. Not being able to convey or express how I’ve been feeling has affected me quite heavily.

I put a lot of pressure on myself in all aspect of life, whether it is my appearance or what my poems are about. The hunger for perfection is insatiable, to put it bluntly.

Creativity has always had a big place in my mind, heart and soul. So to feel like nothing I did was good enough was very taxing on my mental health and it still is, sometimes.

The goal is to take baby steps, and start off small and build my way back up the ladder once more. It might not always be consistent or on point, but it will be authentic to me and my journey of it all.

Just wanted to say a big thank you to anyone who has followed or just discovered my blog on here. Any engagement I receive is wholeheartedly appreciated. It truly means the world and encourages me to continue, even if I’m not feeling my best.

What are my plans for the months ahead?

As of now, I hope to update the blog at least once a week, if not more. It all depends on life’s schedule and God’s plan for me on this path.

I count my blessings every day that I have good health, a wonderful support system and an overall decent life.

That’s not to say that there won’t be challenges along the way, but I will take that on if the occasion arises.

For the time being, I want to remain present and in tune with the universe so a hiatus like the previous one is out of the question.

Balance is key, which an impatient person like me needs to be reminded of on a daily basis.

It is my hope that I can commence further work on my third poetry collection, and make progress with that as it has been four years since A Cryptic Human Entity.

Well, as of tomorrow it will be the 4th anniversary of that second poetry book and I still cannot fathom it.

The theme for the next book is still up for debate. I feel like a lot has changed and evolved since my initial concept for it, that I might do something completely different.

I have a lot that I want to share and heal from on an emotional level, timing is key too.

There’s a chance I might do a mini version of the next collection, and a full, extended edition of the poetry book next year. So excited to finally start this project in a proper way.

Until then, stay tuned for more updates as I go along. After all, we only have the life God gave us, we need to make every second count.

And also, happy belated 7th anniversary to my pride and joy, this little blog of mine, DAYDREAM MADNESS.

It’s also my birthday in 12 days, how exciting! But anyway, hope you all have an amazing rest of your weekend and I’ll speak to you soon.

Happy Sunday and God bless you all!

Yours truly,

Mila. Xo

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Lessons In Gratitude

Today was a lot, but I’m so grateful for the strength that faith has given me, even on the days where I feel defeated.

Saying that my gratitude is in abundance would be an understatement.

All I know is, life is precious and so is our time.

God Bless.

Mila. Xo

I Passed My Course!

This post is going to be more upbeat and positive than the last few (or perhaps I should say ten?)

Yes, still got a lot of things on my mind currently which has been very challenging and awful for my mental health, but I’m still trying to get through life with gratitude and strength.

So, that being said: I passed my course!

Not entirely surprised, I did have a good feeling about taking the exam, so that was nice.

Excuse the lateness of my recent posts on the blog. A lot is on my mind, so bear with me.

Have a great evening, everyone.

Mila. Xo

Kindness, Empathy And Growth

In the last three years, I’ve had so much clarity about many things.

When you see things in a different light, from a perspective you never considered before, it can change you somewhat. It doesn’t happen overnight, but the little details make a big difference.

Hasn’t been an easy journey to take, yet I feel life has only just begun for me. Learning to set boundaries, being kinder to yourself and making decisions based on the data your mind has been collecting all this time. That’s what I want to continue with.

I used to worry so much about people’s opinion of me, tried to be the person they wanted me to be, and ultimately found myself lost in the depths of my insecurities.

Acceptance took a long time, plus you lose a lot of people in the process.

Despite the harsh reality of it all, you just have to face it. Gradually or all at once. It’s uncomfortable, scary, hard to tell which way it’s going to turn out.

We also need more kindness in the world, especially with all the hatred and chaos. Empathy is important, although it depends on the situation and the person, I know.

It all varies, that’s the very obvious thing in all of this. I can’t always find the right words for how I feel, which is okay. We discover new things every day, whether it’s about ourselves or others.

Honestly, I’m still learning and discovering. Where life will take me, and the path I’ll be on the next second, who knows. I don’t even think I’d want to know all the outcomes.

All I know is, I want to be kind, empathetic and I want my self-growth to continue to evolve and strengthen with time. Not sure if this all makes sense, but maybe some of it does.

Just some thoughts I had tonight, and as always, have a good night and I’ll be back tomorrow with another entry on the blog.

Mila. Xo






Lasting Memory Of You

Saying goodbye is the hardest thing, especially when the person does not recognize who you are anymore and you could not communicate due to a language barrier that once didn’t exist, not to mention the distance between you and I for the longest of time. That’s what happened in the months before you left this Earth.

Today marks five years without the most loving, compassionate, selfless grandmother a young woman could ever have wished for. It feels just like yesterday when I got the call no one wants to get.

As much as I tried to prepare myself for this moment to arrive because I understood that it was inevitable, it was still one of the most painful moments of my life. Talking about this woman in the past-tense never gets easier, the first few years of grieving the loss, I truly felt numb, crying felt impossible because I was so in denial.

To this day, I cherish our last conversation. You said my name in such a delicate tone, you asked me how my day was, and you said you loved me.

Whenever I have a moment of sadness, or just a tough day in general, I think of you and I smile. You showed me what it means to be strong, your bravery and strength through it all was powerful beyond words, you are truly my hero, my guardian angel above, alongside the other beautiful souls who are up there with you.

What has also made me feel closer to my late grandmother is one of middle names, which is hers and it is right next to my first name, I really find comfort in that. And I also find comfort in faith, because my grandmother kept it near and dear to her heart all her life, until the end.

Immensely grateful for the years I got to know you, you’ll always be so important to me and remembered for your kind heart, nurturing nature and a lot more.

Grief can be such a wake-up call, it makes you appreciate life, love and family more than ever. Of course, bear in mind, the complexity will always be there, regardless of time.

Cherish the ones you love, be kind, take care of you and others and God bless you all.

Mila. Xo

Journey Of Acceptance

Do you ever hear or see something that leaves you in a deep train of thought for the rest of the evening? That’s so me tonight.

I think I’ve managed to navigate my emotions to a happier place, for the time being. How long that will last, who knows, but I appreciate it and try to embrace it.

Emotions can be so complex and hard to navigate, process and understand in a logical way. Truth be told, that has been me many times.

As I’m getting older, the appreciation for my strength during the darkest of times has only increased. It reminds me that life is a journey, and healing of any kind takes a lot of patience.

Wasn’t planning to talk about this, but I felt compelled to.

All I can say is: take your time, it’ll get better.

That’s all for today, stay safe.

Mila. Xo

Strength In You

The beauty of small things that bring you a little bit of joy, and how precious it is.

It makes you appreciate your life, your hobbies, the sun in the sky and each day of your existence.

Not every day is easy, not every day is hard. Balance is key, for the most part. Over time, strength develops.

Happy Friday!

Mila. Xo

Inspiration In Drafts


Looked at old notes earlier, that I previously wrote and saved to my phone and it’s kind of bittersweet. It’s not very often that I do that, mainly because I end up missing certain people.

Nostalgia is tough sometimes, some memories leave a lasting impression on your mind. Whether that’s good or bad, I don’t know.

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. That’s something I was told a while back, and it’s very true, at least for me.

Although, I do wish I had been slightly more mature than I was years ago, maybe it would have changed how things turned out. The “what if” still haunts me to this day.

Earlier tonight, I found myself wanting to reach out to someone in particular, who I haven’t spoken to in about three years, and a part of me has always wanted that person back in my life.

They were one of my closest friends, we had a complicated connection from the start, but I’ve always been curious about how things would be now, if we had remained close, especially since we’re both older and wiser.

Perhaps, in the near future, we’ll be able to reconnect.

Time definitely heals a lot, but not everything, as much as we would like for that to be reality. I feel like I’m starting to lose my train of thought now, so maybe I should leave it at this for the moment.

Need to get some sleep, but I’ll be back with another post tomorrow afternoon or late evening. Tomorrow is Friday, so glad.

Have a wonderful rest of your Thursday.


Mila. Xo

Brighter Days


To say I appreciate the better, brighter days of life would be an understatement. There’s a lot of gratitude involved, especially if you’ve been through a lot and so, you appreciate every ounce of good that comes your way.

All I want is peace of mind, to be completely honest with you.

It’s hard to know what the future will hold, but I’m trying to just take life one day at a time, because you can’t predict what will happen in the next.

As someone who feels better when I have some kind of vague idea of what a day will be like, that can be difficult. However, there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Is life going to be predictable? Well, depending on the circumstances and events, it could be, or it could be the complete opposite.

That’s probably a permanent note to self: take it as it comes.

As challenging as that can be, I try to not let fear take the steering wheel, if that makes sense?

This post was meant to be written way earlier, so excuse the late ramblings from yours truly. I also need to get some rest before tomorrow, got a lot of revision and study to complete in the next week.

Hope you’re well and speak to you tomorrow!


Mila. Xo

Wednesday Inspiration

I really want to begin work on poetry book #3.

There’s a lot of ideas and thoughts going through my mind right now, and I trust my intuition when it comes to knowing the perfect time to sit down and create.

Which reminds me, I need to get a big dining table, would make it a lot easier to write, use my laptop and a lot of other things too.

I also have an urge to spruce up my home, interior wise. Been organizing the bedroom a lot in the last couple of days.

Simple changes to the bedding, or the curtains, that’s enough to bring new life into a room. Maybe I should buy some paint whilst I’m at it.

It’s the small details I pay attention to, and those bring me joy in the midst of all other circumstances.

2021 has been strange yet wonderful so far, and I hope the coming months will be more positive than the previous.

Hope you’re all well, stay safe.

Mila. Xo