Here I am, trying to finish my bottles of water needed, in order to complete my intake goal. Also recently started intermittent fasting, so the hydration is very important during these vital hours.
Working on my health has been a priority, and it will continue to be on the agenda as the year goes on, and I become fitter and healthier, not to mention, more confident with my body.
Insecurities suck, but I’m trying to work on those things gradually, understand what has to be addressed and improved. It’s not just the physical aspect, but the psychological as well. It’ll take patience with myself, something I often don’t have.
A sensitive topic for many, I’m sure. To be clear, I’m simply expressing my own experiences with it, but the subject can be complicated for many different reasons. The stigma, the shaming, the unrealistic standards we deal with on a regular basis. It can be a lot for a person.
As we evolve and grow, become wiser and stronger, I am certain that these things will be more understood as time goes on. Hold on to that hope.
Existence & Purpose
When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?
I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.
Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.
On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.
It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.
To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.
Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.
To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.
I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.
Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.
Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.
Fragile Aspects Of Life
Life is nothing like we envisioned, as little children. We’ve been taught to believe that we’re just a puzzle piece to place, another foundation to lay.
Our state of mind crumbles, as we see the world for what it is. Disguised as a flaw, seen as a weakness.
Instead of encouraging one another, we have been programmed to function, in a different manner.
We’re motivated by our greed, the pressure to succeed is inevitably a weight on our shoulders.
If only some of us had the voice or the courage to break the stigma, once and for all. But of course, talking about taboo subjects is another challenge, in place.
Anyone who does, I’m forever intrigued and inspired by you.
hours to years: a journey of life
The 27th of January will always remain close to my heart, for two critical reasons. Even as the years go by, it never fails to keep me grounded, calm and collected, within soul & mind. Continue reading
It starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.
What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.
I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?
a cup full of love
In times of need, we find ourselves bottling up the emotions that keep us awake at night, and putting on a smile for the world to see and for us to believe that it is a genuine one.
Thankfully, there are places on the internet where venting about life is possible.
7 Cups Of Tea, also known as 7cups, is one of those. I was glad to know that I wasn’t alone.
I’ve been a listener on there for over a year now, and it’s rewarding to make a difference in someone’s life, whether it’d be little or huge. I take pride in helping others.
Compassion and support is something we all long for, it is a necessity as a human being
which makes it even more important that 7cups exists for people in need of this.
My fellow listeners on there are always wonderful, I feel at ease talking to them because it feels like someone actually genuinely cares and wants to listen to what I need to get off my chest, emotionally. It’s been a pleasure to get to know most of them, the group chats are always helpful, and there are different ones for everyone to choose from.
I can’t put it into words how humbled I am to be a listener on this incredible website.
Although it’s not the only place you can vent, it’s definitely one I recommend to anyone!
It deserves more recognition for what it does, and the amount of people it helps every single day, I can’t express how much it has saved my sanity when I felt like life was becoming too much. And I was scared at first to open up, because my anxiety makes me quite anxious about talking to new people, but I felt at peace almost immediately.
The fear of being judged is high, but with places like these, you don’t have to be.
It’s completely anonymous so you never have to be afraid to really be honest.
It’s something I think is worthy of many articles, mostly because so many suffer in silence and it’s not okay. We all deserve support, we’re people with real feelings and we want to feel like our feelings are valid and understood. So, if you’re ever in need of someone to speak with, don’t hesitate to check it out.
Link is below! 🙂
compassion starts with you
Still hasn’t sunk in that it’s March already, time slips away the more I realize it. Continue reading
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