depth of thought

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It’s never as lovely as the movies depict it, neither as pleasant as we’d like it all to be.
We rarely voice concern over the things that trouble us the most, but we ought to.

I would have appreciated more willingness to listen, regardless of understanding,
but it seems like I’ll never truly get that closure that everyone longs to gain,
from the moments of deep thought, which I am sure; we all have.

There are moments I gain strength from living in dark of my abilities,
but other times, all you feel is bitter blows of reality toppling your chest,
to the point where it really couldn’t get worse, even if you tried.

Life is a strange thing, in all sense of the word.

I’m rather fond of what surrounds me, but-
it does feel quite empty at times…

madness called unconditional love

you’re like the tattoo I don’t have yet
an image in my head that I’m obsessed with

you’re like the book I haven’t gotten to read
yet the cover is stuck in my head

you’re like the sun that hasn’t shined
yet the rays of light is what I need

you’re like the bad habit I’m currently fighting against
yet it makes me feel so alive whilst losing my breath

you’re the soulmate I wish I could have held
yet I know I can’t look back on damaged love

you’re the world I want to see and explore
but I know I probably won’t see it all

I’m sick of many things, including my love for you
yet it’s the only thing that makes me want to be alive
and try a bit harder to succeed in this path of life

I see you as my world, my sun, my moon
my good, my bad, my heart
my love, my all.

last hours

I’m again thinking of the moments of youth
I now wish I had a hold of

the hours turned into years
I found myself encountering fears
& now I have a whole new look at life
I am so glad to have blossomed
into the flower I needed to be

independent and strong
like a young woman should be.

shades of life

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3 days until my teenage reign is officially over and I’m old.
I’m not sure how to feel; although my current pain is one thing
it’s been a difficult few years of lust, heartbreak and anxious moments
but I thank the people and struggle for changing me for the better
never thought I’d ever be saying that but here I am.

Turning 20 is a big deal for me, I was a lost soul for so long
and I was sure I wouldn’t make it through a lot of my problems
but I’m glad life is changing for the better & I’m healing.

When life was at a terrible point, it consumed me
and made me feel like nothing would ever change
I was depressed, suicidal, hurting myself, crying constantly
always living as if though I was an empty shell of a being.

I never openly discuss much, except in poetry
but I figured it would be good to explain my battles
and explain how that particular pain changed me
and how I also changed myself into the person I am today

Without these battles, I wouldn’t have fought this
I wouldn’t have said “enough”, and recovered slowly
I wouldn’t have made an effort with any of it

I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading this
but this is just me opening my heart to you
and hoping this will give you an insight
into the person I am and I continue to be.