Despite previous hesitation, I’ve decided to follow my instinct and go with my initial vision for poetry book number three. The book title was chosen all the way back in 2019, if I can remember correctly.
At first, I was planning to change the entire concept, but after today’s strange events and the analysis it triggered, it felt right, more than ever, to bring the first vision of this book to life.
I wanted this next project to be centered around healing, the positive changes that arise during a time of self-restoration and the importance of stepping away from unhealthy situations, people, your own personal insecurities and all of the other issues that we face as individuals.
However, in escaping my own comfort zone and talking about the more heavier, less idealistic scenarios and understanding the emotions that come along with it all, I now can feel a sense of peace in the fact that talking about it is part of my healing process and my way of moving forward.
I’m excited to go on this journey again, it’s been a while.
Knowing where to start is a different story, do I start writing first or constructing a book cover? Only time will tell.
Nonetheless, it feels like the right moment in time to begin, and I can’t wait to see what the final outcome of this will look like in the near future.
There’s a chance I might ramble tonight, my emotions have been all over the place, so bear with me. It’s been a rough day, in terms of lacking motivation and not feeling like myself.
One of those days, mother nature does not make things any easier, so there’s that. I managed to get it together later on in the day; did a 30 minute workout, took all my supplements, did my skincare, ate consistently throughout the day, got some new groceries in the morning.
So, all in all, I got through the worst of what I was feeling.
As much as sleeping all day and eating junk was an option, I decided to get on with my daily routine, and stay productive. I’m really glad I did, because I feel a lot better.
Not giving in to temptation is something I’m proud of. In the past, I thought the best way to feel better was to eat junk, distract myself with sleep or binge watch a show or two. All those things are okay to do in moderation, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
I’m trying to teach myself discipline, self-control in terms of food and what I consume on a regular basis. Working on these things is not easy, you don’t change habits overnight, but over time, it becomes easier to manage and keep under control.
You have to dig deep, when it comes to understanding why you do certain things, and the predictable patterns that arise as a result. Once you understand the root cause, that’s when you can properly begin the healing process.
Trauma of any kind is hard to process, and it can take a long time to face it, acknowledge it, be able to speak about it, and also, learn to heal from it and move forward.
Every person’s journey is different, and that’s something I always bear in mind when talking about my own experiences in life, what I’ve been through and how it made me the person I am today.
I think I’ll leave it at that for now, I might elaborate further in future posts on the blog. Excuse the essay tonight, it’s not often I get so invested in what I write, although that is the whole point of DAYDREAM MADNESS.
This is my sanctuary of thought, where I can speak openly and feel a sense of comfort. Writing has always been a powerful outlet for me, it helped me through some dark times, which I’ll be forever grateful for.
Have a good evening, take care of you, stay kind.
As much as I am grateful for life as it is today, I can’t help but wonder about what could have been in another outcome of events. I know, it’s kind of ridiculous at this point.
But sometimes, your mind just wants to know.
When you have to discuss certain parts of your life, I suppose the curious side of you emerges.
I’ve learned a lot about my past over the last few years or so. Suppressing your feelings about it is a temporary solution. Such a complex journey, yet I do believe that I have found closure as a result.
We can’t change our pasts, unfortunately. As tough as that is for someone like me in moments like this, all I can do is acknowledge it, process it to the best of my ability and accept it.
That’s easier said than done, ultimately.
As I get older, I do hope that things start to make a little more sense.
Well, maybe I’ll write a book about it, or perhaps a novel of some kind. That’s something I hope to do in my later years. We’ll see if it happens.
Stay safe, and I hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Tonight, I’ll attempt to get started on my next writing project. In May, it’ll be three years since I independently released my second collection of poetry, A Cryptic Human Entity.
For the longest amount of time, I’ve wanted to begin this process, but a lot has occurred since the last collection and my writing was put on hold indefinitely.
I must admit, the passion to create was lost for a while. I had no particular interest anymore, and it took me a long time to feel like myself again. Writer’s block and personal stress did nothing to help the situation either.
During the first two lockdowns, I found myself prioritizing sleep a lot, right now it’s kind of the opposite because my sleep schedule is out of sync.
I suppose, this time around, it’s the time to focus on my written work.
There’s a lot of ideas and artistic concepts that are running wild in my mind right now and I’m really excited to see what comes out of this. I wish I could draw, if anything. For some reason, I miss painting too. Longing to do it again.
A few titles I have in mind, also. Which one I’ll go with, I have no idea, as of yet. I will trust my instinct on that one. I’ve always been very invested in poem titles and painting a picture.
If I get anywhere with it, I’ll most definitely add some thoughts to the blog tomorrow. Would be great to get used to talking about it all more, as I embark on this journey of expression, saying hello to a new era.
Until then, I’ll leave it at that. Take care, all of you.