For Granted

I wrapped my thoughts in denial, thinking it would change the outcome.

To bite your tongue and accept the reality of things, I’ve always taken for granted.

Clarity in front of you, to seek your trust and guide you towards hope.

Hours That Follow, A Poem Draft From Book #3

There’s something about the midnight hour, I can’t understand how it works, or if it calms my soul enough to heal my battle wounds.

Either way, it builds my core, to the point of nausea. You push yourself to the edge and somehow recover, just to fall back on your word again.

It’s a continuous cycle, the same routine of thought, as time leads you on a journey.

You can either hide in denial, or confront your darkest personality traits in depth.

To cut ties with fear of abandonment, a need for approval; Am I losing touch with reality or am I too aware of my own weaknesses and destructive mindset?

It takes a lot to admit defeat, and admit that you’re a broken individual.

So for the time being, love your fellow entities that surround the halls of your mind. For the present hour, cherish the hours that follow.

Be fearless, love the obstacles that test you. Kill the fear that haunts your path.

Free the mind, cure the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

Health And Book Update: A Late Entry

A late entry but, I finally published and made my second poetry book public via the incredible self-publishing company Blurb, who actually congratulated me also, which I thought was so wonderful!

I’ve been meaning to update my blog, just never got around to it because I took some time to relax because of my wisdom tooth extraction. Recovery is going well! It’s been approximately 4 days and I feel great, there’s been no complications or symptoms which I am relieved about.

The best part about it is, no more excruciating migraines at night. Although today, I feel slightly light-headed, but it’s been a warm day also.

On the 13th, it was the third anniversary of my blog, DAYDREAM MADNESS, too! Can’t believe I’ve had it for this long now. The same day, it was actually a whole year since I bought my domain name; one of the best decisions I’ve made for my blog so far.

 

Getting my new book done was also a big relief, because I was behind schedule, and there’s two different book types; softcover and hardcover. Everyone knows the title of it by now, since it’s been spoken about on numerous occasions.

 

But yes, “A Cryptic Human Entity” was an amazing project to work on, creativity wise.

 

The encouragement and support from my closest friends has been wonderful, especially since it was the second anniversary of my grandmother’s passing on the 19th and all events have been clashing with that.

And it’s also my 23rd birthday this Sunday! Usually not too optimistic about it, but I’ll be at a music festival surrounded by incredible music and good vibes, so I can’t complain.

Growing older is perhaps a blessing and a curse; we’re basically ticking clocks, losing time as we speak. It’s an inevitable fate for us all, but life and loss affects us just as much. The point is, we should cherish each moment like we’re about to lose it all. And we shouldn’t take loved ones for granted either.

You can find out more about my new poetry book, “A CRYPTIC HUMAN ENTITY” here: Blurb

Long Time, No Write!

2018 has been quite a chaotic year, I must say. And it’s only March as of yet! I’m supposed to be releasing my second book of poetry in less than two months but I am so behind schedule with the completion of it, that it might all have to be postponed until further notice.

Although, being the person I am, I will try my hardest to stick with my deadline and publication date etc. Life can be so chaotic at times, honestly, and it’s not a nice feeling at all. Everyone deals with it for the most part, yet I am not the best at coping under pressure.

It’s been a while since my last blog post on here, but with everything that’s been going on, it is incredibly hard to think straight, let alone know what to do next. But in time, it’ll pass at some point.

Exactly two months from now, it’ll be the second anniversary of my grandmother’s passing too.

Still hard to deal with, me losing her was painful beyond words. Bravest person until the end though, an angel who gained her well-deserved wings in the sky above.

You never truly appreciate the time you have with people until you see them fade away in front of your eyes. What a brutal reality. I guess all you can do is try and make the most of every second you breathe.

Don’t waste your life away, it’s the only one you have; as yourself, anyway. Who knows what the afterlife has planned, or where your soul will end up next. Only time will tell.

How It Pains Me To Feel Empty, A Poem

You could twist and turn it as much as you’d like, my darling
But the truth is, it wouldn’t change how it all feels on the inside

If one could paint their face happy, it’d be as easy as picking out
colorful pens and a clean, paper surface, or a new book to read

The mind is tragically overloaded, always heavy in thought 
And the heart, it is seemingly forever lost within, seeking a miracle

No amount of quick fixes could possibly alter your brain permanently, unless you’ve found a cure for misery, which I’m sure you haven’t, and a lot of people have tried, but failed


And it’s not a person’s first choice, do you really think their mind cares what advice or wisdom you might add to their list of manuals to read? No, of course it doesn’t

And it’s not because the person in mind doesn’t like seeing the care in front of them

It’s something deeper than just reading between their lines and transparent smiles 
Don’t worry, it pains them just as much as it pains you to see how it all is

How it pains me to feel empty, not knowing what I am worth as a person
Or what incredible things I could achieve if I just had a little bit of faith in myself
And my potential, not just for other people’s sake, but most of all, for my own closure


My heart is grateful, it always was and gratitude will show
As strength becomes a little easier to digest

But until that day comes, please, just be patient with me, I’m only human.

Poem For My Guardian Angel

Within my heart
Y
our soul can reside

You were an angel
Before your time

Yet there’s a difference now
You’ve gained your wings

So fly, my angel, fly high
May your soul be at peace

Why December Is THE Month Of All Years

There’s something truly magical about this time of year. We have a wonderful excuse to decorate our houses with everything gold, sparkly and shiny. It’s also another reason to spread some happiness and cheer with the people around us. Whether it’s family, close friends or new companions in life, it’s the memories we create that is of importance, not how long we know the person. But anyway, I’m excited for the remainder of 2017. I’ll likely cherish every moment, because I know it’s coming to an end soon, and it’s been quite a vital year for me, in terms of self-growth, independence, inner strength, love, and most of all: Happiness.

It’s been a little quiet on my blog and I’m sorry about that. Haven’t really had the time to post stuff on here, so it’s definitely not intentional. Also, I worked on a keepsake journal for most of October and November, which is in production right now, I’m really pleased about that. It’s not going to be listed for sale, I mainly just wanted to create something that is me and is my own little place to write down thoughts, I also included brand new poetry within this project, motivational pieces, and of course, some inspirational words of wisdom and clarity. It’s the journal for the journey, as I like to say.

 

It’s hard to believe I’ve now self-published two projects of mine. A poetry book and a self-help/care journal. Really proud of my accomplishments this year. My second book/collection of poetry will be out sometime in 2018. And it has a title…

 

A Cryptic Human Entity will be released in mid-2018 and will have approximately 50-75 pages and it’ll be my most personal collection to date. A carefully selected list of poetry with subjects such as lust, intense emotions, desire and passion. It’s still a work in progress as I write, but for this particular project, I really wanted to take my time in creating a preferred choice of depth, as well as a blank canvas for one’s truth to unveil. It is always important to write from the heart and to mean every word, and feel brave enough to open up about our darker, harder-to-reach emotions.

Even now, as I talk about my second book, it’s strange yet I am excited to complete my mission of honest creativity. In the past, I would have never considered doing something quite like this. Wouldn’t even have stuck to a blog like this. So, every little step is a new accomplishment in my eyes. Honestly grateful for all things I have witnessed and achieved in 2017. And I think next year will be even greater than the previous.

 
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, my next post will be up either tomorrow or Monday, depending on how inspired I am to write. Let’s hope my writer’s block doesn’t return for a while. xo

 

 

A Journal For A Journey

There’s a few things I changed my mind on. The first is, the publication date/year of my book.

At first, it felt perfect to have it ready before Christmas, but then, after enough consideration, I decided to ultimately not rush anything and take my time with it all. It’s my most personal project to date, emotively.

So why the need to finish it sooner? I suppose the lack of patience. I mean, there are thousands of pieces written, but this book will be all new material, so that’s going to be exciting.

To compile a set of newly felt and expressed thoughts and emotions, it’s going to be a lot nicer to showcase, rather than dwelling on the previous ghosts in my heart, although, there’s always a special place in my heart for them, always will be.

Certain poetic favorites of mine might still make an appearance, but there’s a chance I’ll shorten them or simply create a new version etc. Not because I don’t like them, but because, when I wrote them, I guess I was quite sad, or mad, perhaps a little too attached to the idea of the person. But that’s not always a bad thing, to be honest. Sometimes we all need an outlet of some sort.

It’s all about letting yourself be open about taboo subjects, intense emotions, cryptic and flawed intentions. Bought myself a couple of new journals to write poetry and other stuff in. Feels like I’m going back to basics in terms of writing. Where not every piece was typed up on a computer. You could simply note down what it was that made you feel alive, or what made you feel sad. A shoulder to cry on, when opening up to a person simply wasn’t an option.

Writing is such an important part of my life now. Couldn’t really see myself without this blog, or any of the other writing sites I have found myself enjoying over the years. I kind of miss anonymously writing about certain topics, but it’s nice to feel comfortable for the first time in my life. I’m sure most people can understand that aspect of this. Well, I hope.

Self-expression is sometimes more than just a hobby. For me, it’s a chance to show people what I am capable of creating, and to also challenge myself. To think outside the box, take chances, take a few risks now and then. What might seem terrible to you could be loved by the next person. It’s all about not letting critics and your own self-critical thoughts take over. Embrace your flaws, know that you can’t produce perfection, but you can keep going until you feel satisfied. Practice and patience are key. As well as self-encouragement, positive thinking. Motivation and inspiration is great for keeping you on track too.

Don’t get lost in the madness of self-loathing. Take care of yourself. Nurture your soul/art. When there’s heartache, write it out. Do you feel lonely? Pick up a pen and let your heart speak. If someone makes your day, or makes you feel happy, write it down, share it with a friend. After all, we only have one life. Why not live in the moment?

Hello, November – Second Book Thoughts

Well, well, well. Hello November, my dear friend. I’ve been anticipating your arrival for a while now and it’s so great to see you again. As much as the previous months have been a journey of self and reflection, I think this month will be my most exciting one yet. Here’s why…

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