Always been the kind of person to dedicate posts and pieces of writing to people who have changed my life in some way, and this isn’t any different. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing a wonderful writer and poet called Jayant for the past month or more, if I can remember accurately; he who has a birthday today, and I wanted to write a little post about how great it’s been, as well as lovely, getting to know the person behind one of my favorite blogs.
I highly recommend you check out his WordPress blog, I promise you won’t be disappointed with what you come across. He is a writer whom my poetic heart is very glad to know and call a dear friend. Again, happy birthday, Jayant! Best wishes from me.
The writer’s block is gone and I’m feeling like myself again, what a feeling it is to feel!
I’ve written material I hope to use in my future book, life is falling into place, I sense-
and it’s only going to evolve and progress, it’s a ‘feel it in my heart’ kind of moment.
This year has been a test of strengths, although I have come out of it; a stronger person in my own being, and I feel like I’m going back to basics in terms of myself, creativity wise.
This weekend, I’ll be posting my first poem on the secondary blog, so if anyone wants to read it then feel free to in a short while, it’ll be on there before you know it. I am so relieved that it’s soon the end of another week, I can’t really put it into words how tired I feel.
But, within, I feel renewed, like a new chapter of my life/story is coming together and it’s a nice feeling, in general, but still: how lovely. Writing definitely keeps me sane, very much so. Enough of my rambling, though. Have a wonderful day, spread love, smile, be you.
It starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.
What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.
I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?
It began harmlessly enough, I never expected it to change my perspective of love,
but with all departures; will come sadness. Suddenly, you’re lost in the madness.
Had a charm for days, a smile that could make anyone’s stomach fill
with butterflies just from a simple look. It was muse at first glance
and as I look again on it, maybe it was meant to happen.
You gave me this vibe – a sentimental yet swiftly cold aura, I knew in my heart I’d place you in the depths of my heart. As much as I like to deny it for all it is worth, you truly got me struck with 3 words. From the hello that shaped our moments, to the silent goodbye-
and the spiral of repetition cycles, this was true; regardless of what you think of us now.
”Pistanthrophobia; the fear of trusting”
Drove me mad, but kept me happy. Made me cry, yet you’re the rays of sun on my face,
we made a mess of our time, something we’ll never get back, but I’ll treasure this
and it doesn’t matter if we don’t ever speak again, having you once was enough.
I am not your only love, neither would I expect it from a heart of such charm
although it does get to me, how I’m now the ghost of your past.
Surely, it must have meant the world to you at some point,
or maybe it did not- since you didn’t love me at first chance.
I wish I could understand your reasons for letting go,
because it’d bring me well-needed peace.
I can only hold on to the memories we built-
and the ones we never had the chance to.