January is almost coming to an end, it feels strange acknowledging that fact. Well, that and the fact that I have a lot of math study to do.
After writing this quick post, I’ll try and get some work done and hopefully go to sleep tonight. I wouldn’t recommend staying awake all night, the aftermath can be so awful, haha.
Regardless, the day hasn’t been too bad. I just find it hard to believe that the weekend is just around the corner, yet again. Lockdown makes every day seem either very abrupt or it drags on, every time you look at the clock.
Having a routine does help a lot, it keeps my mind from being cluttered with too many thoughts. I do want to start journaling and keeping track of my feelings and emotions. An offline diary of some kind, honestly.
I have messy handwriting, though. Apparently, that means you’re intelligent or something. But in all fairness, I’m just an intellectual who maybe thinks too much at times, and that ultimately gives me a lot to speak about.
This blog helps me with keeping it all balanced. Which I’m glad for.
Anyway, take care of you and stay safe today.
Tonight, I’ll attempt to get started on my next writing project. In May, it’ll be three years since I independently released my second collection of poetry, A Cryptic Human Entity.
For the longest amount of time, I’ve wanted to begin this process, but a lot has occurred since the last collection and my writing was put on hold indefinitely.
I must admit, the passion to create was lost for a while. I had no particular interest anymore, and it took me a long time to feel like myself again. Writer’s block and personal stress did nothing to help the situation either.
During the first two lockdowns, I found myself prioritizing sleep a lot, right now it’s kind of the opposite because my sleep schedule is out of sync.
I suppose, this time around, it’s the time to focus on my written work.
There’s a lot of ideas and artistic concepts that are running wild in my mind right now and I’m really excited to see what comes out of this. I wish I could draw, if anything. For some reason, I miss painting too. Longing to do it again.
A few titles I have in mind, also. Which one I’ll go with, I have no idea, as of yet. I will trust my instinct on that one. I’ve always been very invested in poem titles and painting a picture.
If I get anywhere with it, I’ll most definitely add some thoughts to the blog tomorrow. Would be great to get used to talking about it all more, as I embark on this journey of expression, saying hello to a new era.
Until then, I’ll leave it at that. Take care, all of you.
This week has been challenging and humbling, to say the least.
If there’s anything I take away from this, it’s that when life gives you lemons, either make lemonade or remain bitter. It can be tough seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, when it seems like things are heading towards one direction, and not the one you were hoping for.
Grateful in this moment for family, friends, and the ability to see beyond the lines, and also read between them when necessary too.
My blog was created almost five years ago, it’s amazing how it has shaped my life in many ways. I used to write all the time, staying awake late thinking about new theme layouts and blog post ideas. Those were the days of limitless creativity.
If anything, I’d love to go back to that. I also hope it will guide me through the writing process for my next poetry book. It might take months, or even years to finish my current project, but in the meantime, just updating my blog consistently and breaking free of the recurring periods of writer’s block.
All you can do is encourage, yet allow that creative mind to express and create at its own pace. I am definitely an impatient person, depending on the situation, of course.
It’s only the beginning, and I have so much left to give. I won’t give up.
Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.
Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.
Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.
For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.
Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.
In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.
Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.
I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.
No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.
There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.
Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.
Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.
People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.
I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.
What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.
Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.
Taking the time to sit down and write something each day is refreshing, to say the very least. For most of last year, I found it impossible to put my ideas into perspective.
As someone who has written for most of her life, I am constantly looking for ways to improve my work, and I definitely found myself editing my words more than usual, rarely satisfied or content with the end result. Maybe, I’m just a perfectionist.
I am hoping that 2019 will put my mind at ease, a little bit. To not worry about people’s opinions so much, and to remember that I am just a human being who is trying to bring herself joy through self-expression as a whole.
This blog has helped me in many ways, which I am forever grateful for. And I met some incredible souls because of it. Can you believe it’s been almost 4 years since I started? Neither can I.
May you all have an amazing year ahead of you.