This is a poem I wrote tonight. I wasn’t planning to, neither did I think I was going to write one at all. But I did, and I wanted to post it on the blog. Not the best thing I’ve written, yet not the worst either. Enjoy.
Submerged with all these fears
They look through her like glass
Eyes stained with cruelty and spite
You find your way through the cracks
Of her broken mind
Like the river of tears
That fills her eyes
And runs down her face
Mila. Xo
All these emotions, running through your mind
When all you want is peace
For healing to set your mind free
And love to bring light
All these thoughts, of which you’ve been consumed
When all you wanted was to feel safe
For time to heal your heart
And the sun to shine on you
Despite previous hesitation, I’ve decided to follow my instinct and go with my initial vision for poetry book number three. The book title was chosen all the way back in 2019, if I can remember correctly.
At first, I was planning to change the entire concept, but after today’s strange events and the analysis it triggered, it felt right, more than ever, to bring the first vision of this book to life.
I wanted this next project to be centered around healing, the positive changes that arise during a time of self-restoration and the importance of stepping away from unhealthy situations, people, your own personal insecurities and all of the other issues that we face as individuals.
However, in escaping my own comfort zone and talking about the more heavier, less idealistic scenarios and understanding the emotions that come along with it all, I now can feel a sense of peace in the fact that talking about it is part of my healing process and my way of moving forward.
I’m excited to go on this journey again, it’s been a while.
Knowing where to start is a different story, do I start writing first or constructing a book cover? Only time will tell.
Nonetheless, it feels like the right moment in time to begin, and I can’t wait to see what the final outcome of this will look like in the near future.
Mila. Xo
Tonight, I’ll attempt to get started on my next writing project. In May, it’ll be three years since I independently released my second collection of poetry, A Cryptic Human Entity.
For the longest amount of time, I’ve wanted to begin this process, but a lot has occurred since the last collection and my writing was put on hold indefinitely.
I must admit, the passion to create was lost for a while. I had no particular interest anymore, and it took me a long time to feel like myself again. Writer’s block and personal stress did nothing to help the situation either.
During the first two lockdowns, I found myself prioritizing sleep a lot, right now it’s kind of the opposite because my sleep schedule is out of sync.
I suppose, this time around, it’s the time to focus on my written work.
There’s a lot of ideas and artistic concepts that are running wild in my mind right now and I’m really excited to see what comes out of this. I wish I could draw, if anything. For some reason, I miss painting too. Longing to do it again.
A few titles I have in mind, also. Which one I’ll go with, I have no idea, as of yet. I will trust my instinct on that one. I’ve always been very invested in poem titles and painting a picture.
If I get anywhere with it, I’ll most definitely add some thoughts to the blog tomorrow. Would be great to get used to talking about it all more, as I embark on this journey of expression, saying hello to a new era.
Until then, I’ll leave it at that. Take care, all of you.
Mila. Xo
As we’re heading into another lockdown, I figured it was time to re-discover my love for books. I have many around the house, perhaps tomorrow I’ll have a look at a few and read them, chapter by chapter. Sounds good.
I also have plans to start work on another book project, I feel like I haven’t paid enough attention to poetry as of late. But in all fairness, life has been quite eventful, to say the least. We’ll see what else 2021 has in store for us.
Might look into subscribing to Audible or something too, I think audiobooks are a good way to pass the time, especially if you haven’t got the chance to read a physical copy.
Another thing I hope to listen more of: podcasts.
If I had a bit more self-esteem and didn’t dislike my voice so much, I am pretty sure I could start my own. Whilst writing, I often say all the words out loud, almost becoming a narrator in the process. That’s one of the many things I have found beneficial over the years.
What I also want to catch up on: Documentaries.
There’s many different ones, from crime to nature, the lighthearted subjects, to the more complex and in-depth. Honestly can’t get enough of them.
Mila. Xo
Inspiration can strike at any given time or place. Expected and unexpected.
Truth be told, I have often found myself waking up in the middle of a dream or short-lived nap, and suddenly, having this need to express what I have seen or felt during this particular state of mind.
My thoughts are complex, but not always.
Anyway, I’m hoping to sleep at some point in the night, so I wish you all the best, and sleep well (or good morning to the ones just waking up)
Take care,
Mila. Xo
People always used to tell me, that a creative child usually becomes a troubled adult.
Well, I used to dismiss the theory. It seemed cliché to me, at least, during my teenage years.
Maybe, that was the denial talking. I’ve always wanted to get down to the root cause, but there has been many examples of it.
I often find myself too involved, the mind can play tricks if you allow it, but it can also help you untangle past behaviors, patterns that seem to align, things you simply can’t shake off.
If my brain was an internal drive, which in many ways, it is, I doubt it would be in a solid state.
As technology progresses, I hope it evolves in a way that changes lives and enhances their sense of knowledge in more ways than just one or the other.
The other thing I find myself worrying about, is the high expectations on my shoulders and the validation that comes along with it, or lack of, if I’m honest.
To have an ambitious heart, full of hopes and dreams, it is a pity that I’m full of these fears about the future.
As obvious as it might be, trying to distance yourself from them is a lot harder than meets the eye.
The easy way would probably be to blank them out until the denial kicks in, and you believe your own misguided words.
Or, to acknowledge the way you feel and how these fears make you feel or react – equally petrifying, in my opinion.
I do find myself focused on gratitude, more often than previously.
Off to sleep shortly, and I’m hoping for a clearer mind and inspired heart tomorrow.
There’s a lot to be grateful for, and I’m trying not to forget that. May you all have a blessed night, or day, depending on your timezone.
Love,
Mila.
When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?
I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.
Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.
On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.
It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.
To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.
Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.
To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.
I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.
Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.
Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.
Love,
Mila. Xo
DAYDREAM MADNESS 
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