musings

Back At It: Hiatus Over

Hello again, what a long time it has been since my last upload on the blog.

I wasn’t planning to have a hiatus of this length, but it is what it is and I am back with a vengeance.

Truthfully, I have struggled with writer’s block a lot for many months, even years at this point.

Life has been all over the place, so have my emotions. Not being able to convey or express how I’ve been feeling has affected me quite heavily.

I put a lot of pressure on myself in all aspect of life, whether it is my appearance or what my poems are about. The hunger for perfection is insatiable, to put it bluntly.

Creativity has always had a big place in my mind, heart and soul. So to feel like nothing I did was good enough was very taxing on my mental health and it still is, sometimes.

The goal is to take baby steps, and start off small and build my way back up the ladder once more. It might not always be consistent or on point, but it will be authentic to me and my journey of it all.

Just wanted to say a big thank you to anyone who has followed or just discovered my blog on here. Any engagement I receive is wholeheartedly appreciated. It truly means the world and encourages me to continue, even if I’m not feeling my best.

What are my plans for the months ahead?

As of now, I hope to update the blog at least once a week, if not more. It all depends on life’s schedule and God’s plan for me on this path.

I count my blessings every day that I have good health, a wonderful support system and an overall decent life.

That’s not to say that there won’t be challenges along the way, but I will take that on if the occasion arises.

For the time being, I want to remain present and in tune with the universe so a hiatus like the previous one is out of the question.

Balance is key, which an impatient person like me needs to be reminded of on a daily basis.

It is my hope that I can commence further work on my third poetry collection, and make progress with that as it has been four years since A Cryptic Human Entity.

Well, as of tomorrow it will be the 4th anniversary of that second poetry book and I still cannot fathom it.

The theme for the next book is still up for debate. I feel like a lot has changed and evolved since my initial concept for it, that I might do something completely different.

I have a lot that I want to share and heal from on an emotional level, timing is key too.

There’s a chance I might do a mini version of the next collection, and a full, extended edition of the poetry book next year. So excited to finally start this project in a proper way.

Until then, stay tuned for more updates as I go along. After all, we only have the life God gave us, we need to make every second count.

And also, happy belated 7th anniversary to my pride and joy, this little blog of mine, DAYDREAM MADNESS.

It’s also my birthday in 12 days, how exciting! But anyway, hope you all have an amazing rest of your weekend and I’ll speak to you soon.

Happy Sunday and God bless you all!

Yours truly,

Mila. Xo

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No List Weekend

This weekend, I’m genuinely trying to rest. Woke up early this morning, took a nap almost as soon as I got home.

I’m feeling quite positive about the exam I took earlier as well. I have a feeling that I passed it, but we’ll see once the tutor gives me feedback on that.

There’s never truly a normal day for me these days, as much as I try. But in all fairness, is life really meant to be predictable? No, or maybe sometimes?

Anyway, cheers to the weekend!

Mila. Xo

Balancing Life Out

Wasn’t meant to post so late, but I didn’t have a chance to until now.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired, and I look forward to getting some sleep. But honestly, I’ve got an exam in two days which is making me so nervous.

Anyway, I’ll leave it at that for the time being. Hope you all have a great day!

Mila. Xo

Weekend Ambition


I’m honestly so glad the weekend is finally here!

Found my motivation lacking a little today, but apart from that, it’s all good.

Might spend the whole night writing, browsing the web for inspiration as I need some right now. Perhaps it’s a good time to start work on the book currently in progress.

Been putting it off for too long.

My concentration is not as good as it once was, one of those things, I suppose. Anyway, I’m rambling now. This happens quite often, although I try and make any post on here meaningful, as complicated as my mind can be sometimes.


Mila. Xo

Forgiving And Forgetting: I Never Could

I had a hard time forgiving people in the past. To this day, I still do.

Yes, forgiveness is important, a crucial part of letting go, making amends, being the bigger person when it comes to conflict.

But for the most part, there are things I struggle to forgive, or forget. My heart will always try and see the good in people, no matter how much they frustrate me and betray me.

It’s the same with family feuds, drama on the horizon. How do you simply let bygones be exactly that?

You know in your heart, that you want to do right. But in the end, you simply can’t win. That’s the reality we’re living. An inevitable route, a road not easily driven past. It’s weird, really.

Can you ever truly forgive and forget completely?

It Takes You Home

When I was little, I spent a lot of quality time with my grandmother.

She used to knit, whilst I cut up old pieces of clothing to sew together a little cotton bag for myself, or two.

Looking back on it now, it truly sinks in, the realization that you’re gone.

No longer do I see, the smile that lit up the room. Your loving words of encouragement as I began to blossom, like the butterflies in your garden.

Our moments, I cherish more than I ever knew my heart could. This is the reality of losing you.

Hours That Follow, A Poem Draft From Book #3

There’s something about the midnight hour, I can’t understand how it works, or if it calms my soul enough to heal my battle wounds.

Either way, it builds my core, to the point of nausea. You push yourself to the edge and somehow recover, just to fall back on your word again.

It’s a continuous cycle, the same routine of thought, as time leads you on a journey.

You can either hide in denial, or confront your darkest personality traits in depth.

To cut ties with fear of abandonment, a need for approval; Am I losing touch with reality or am I too aware of my own weaknesses and destructive mindset?

It takes a lot to admit defeat, and admit that you’re a broken individual.

So for the time being, love your fellow entities that surround the halls of your mind. For the present hour, cherish the hours that follow.

Be fearless, love the obstacles that test you. Kill the fear that haunts your path.

Free the mind, cure the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

Silent Observation

People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.

I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.

What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.

Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.

cyber monday is the best kind

The one thing I love about this Monday, is the fact that it’s great for when you’re in need of retail therapy. Perhaps money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a lot of wonderful things to fill the void of your emptiness, if only for a temporary moment of happiness.

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