I’m honestly so glad the weekend is finally here!
Found my motivation lacking a little today, but apart from that, it’s all good.
Might spend the whole night writing, browsing the web for inspiration as I need some right now. Perhaps it’s a good time to start work on the book currently in progress.
Been putting it off for too long.
My concentration is not as good as it once was, one of those things, I suppose. Anyway, I’m rambling now. This happens quite often, although I try and make any post on here meaningful, as complicated as my mind can be sometimes.
I had a hard time forgiving people in the past. To this day, I still do.
Yes, forgiveness is important, a crucial part of letting go, making amends, being the bigger person when it comes to conflict.
But for the most part, there are things I struggle to forgive, or forget. My heart will always try and see the good in people, no matter how much they frustrate me and betray me.
It’s the same with family feuds, drama on the horizon. How do you simply let bygones be exactly that?
You know in your heart, that you want to do right. But in the end, you simply can’t win. That’s the reality we’re living. An inevitable route, a road not easily driven past. It’s weird, really.
Can you ever truly forgive and forget completely?
When I was little, I spent a lot of quality time with my grandmother.
She used to knit, whilst I cut up old pieces of clothing to sew together a little cotton bag for myself, or two.
Looking back on it now, it truly sinks in, the realization that you’re gone.
No longer do I see, the smile that lit up the room. Your loving words of encouragement as I began to blossom, like the butterflies in your garden.
Our moments, I cherish more than I ever knew my heart could. This is the reality of losing you.
There’s something about the midnight hour, I can’t understand how it works, or if it calms my soul enough to heal my battle wounds.
Either way, it builds my core, to the point of nausea. You push yourself to the edge and somehow recover, just to fall back on your word again.
It’s a continuous cycle, the same routine of thought, as time leads you on a journey.
You can either hide in denial, or confront your darkest personality traits in depth.
To cut ties with fear of abandonment, a need for approval; Am I losing touch with reality or am I too aware of my own weaknesses and destructive mindset?
It takes a lot to admit defeat, and admit that you’re a broken individual.
So for the time being, love your fellow entities that surround the halls of your mind. For the present hour, cherish the hours that follow.
Be fearless, love the obstacles that test you. Kill the fear that haunts your path.
Free the mind, cure the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen next.
People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.
I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.
What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.
Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.
The one thing I love about this Monday, is the fact that it’s great for when you’re in need of retail therapy. Perhaps money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a lot of wonderful things to fill the void of your emptiness, if only for a temporary moment of happiness.
Two blog posts in a short time, never thought it would happen in 2016 but hello.
Continue reading “ego’s in the sand”
I never understood what seemed wonderful about lying to yourself.
The writer’s block is gone and I’m feeling like myself again, what a feeling it is to feel!
I’ve written material I hope to use in my future book, life is falling into place, I sense-
and it’s only going to evolve and progress, it’s a ‘feel it in my heart’ kind of moment.
This year has been a test of strengths, although I have come out of it; a stronger person in my own being, and I feel like I’m going back to basics in terms of myself, creativity wise.
This weekend, I’ll be posting my first poem on the secondary blog, so if anyone wants to read it then feel free to in a short while, it’ll be on there before you know it. I am so relieved that it’s soon the end of another week, I can’t really put it into words how tired I feel.
But, within, I feel renewed, like a new chapter of my life/story is coming together and it’s a nice feeling, in general, but still: how lovely. Writing definitely keeps me sane, very much so. Enough of my rambling, though. Have a wonderful day, spread love, smile, be you.