Another day, another blog post…Continue reading “Melancholy Times”
This weekend, I’m genuinely trying to rest. Woke up early this morning, took a nap almost as soon as I got home.
I’m feeling quite positive about the exam I took earlier as well. I have a feeling that I passed it, but we’ll see once the tutor gives me feedback on that.
There’s never truly a normal day for me these days, as much as I try. But in all fairness, is life really meant to be predictable? No, or maybe sometimes?
Anyway, cheers to the weekend!
Wasn’t meant to post so late, but I didn’t have a chance to until now.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired, and I look forward to getting some sleep. But honestly, I’ve got an exam in two days which is making me so nervous.
Anyway, I’ll leave it at that for the time being. Hope you all have a great day!
I’m honestly so glad the weekend is finally here!
Found my motivation lacking a little today, but apart from that, it’s all good.
Might spend the whole night writing, browsing the web for inspiration as I need some right now. Perhaps it’s a good time to start work on the book currently in progress.
Been putting it off for too long.
My concentration is not as good as it once was, one of those things, I suppose. Anyway, I’m rambling now. This happens quite often, although I try and make any post on here meaningful, as complicated as my mind can be sometimes.
I had a hard time forgiving people in the past. To this day, I still do.
Yes, forgiveness is important, a crucial part of letting go, making amends, being the bigger person when it comes to conflict.
But for the most part, there are things I struggle to forgive, or forget. My heart will always try and see the good in people, no matter how much they frustrate me and betray me.
It’s the same with family feuds, drama on the horizon. How do you simply let bygones be exactly that?
You know in your heart, that you want to do right. But in the end, you simply can’t win. That’s the reality we’re living. An inevitable route, a road not easily driven past. It’s weird, really.
Can you ever truly forgive and forget completely?
When I was little, I spent a lot of quality time with my grandmother.
She used to knit, whilst I cut up old pieces of clothing to sew together a little cotton bag for myself, or two.
Looking back on it now, it truly sinks in, the realization that you’re gone.
No longer do I see, the smile that lit up the room. Your loving words of encouragement as I began to blossom, like the butterflies in your garden.
Our moments, I cherish more than I ever knew my heart could. This is the reality of losing you.
There’s something about the midnight hour, I can’t understand how it works, or if it calms my soul enough to heal my battle wounds.
Either way, it builds my core, to the point of nausea. You push yourself to the edge and somehow recover, just to fall back on your word again.
It’s a continuous cycle, the same routine of thought, as time leads you on a journey.
You can either hide in denial, or confront your darkest personality traits in depth.
To cut ties with fear of abandonment, a need for approval; Am I losing touch with reality or am I too aware of my own weaknesses and destructive mindset?
It takes a lot to admit defeat, and admit that you’re a broken individual.
So for the time being, love your fellow entities that surround the halls of your mind. For the present hour, cherish the hours that follow.
Be fearless, love the obstacles that test you. Kill the fear that haunts your path.
Free the mind, cure the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen next.
People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.
I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.
What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.
Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.
The one thing I love about this Monday, is the fact that it’s great for when you’re in need of retail therapy. Perhaps money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a lot of wonderful things to fill the void of your emptiness, if only for a temporary moment of happiness.
Two blog posts in a short time, never thought it would happen in 2016 but hello.
Continue reading “ego’s in the sand”