Monday Thoughts

July is around the corner, literally.

I was going to write earlier in the day, but lost track of time. To be honest, it’s been a long day.

Mondays are always so tiring, as the start of the week usually is.

Hope you all have a great week!

Mila. Xo

What If I Lose My Creativity?

From an early age, I found a sanctuary in writing stuff down, not knowing if I would end up regretting doing so or being thankful that I ultimately did.

It’s not just about being creative, but having a passion for what you’re creating. In recent years, I’ve noticed a decline in motivation, particularly when it comes to writing, and that is very disheartening to witness, first-hand.

From being the young girl who couldn’t stop writing, to barely writing at all, it’s a very gradual yet abrupt shock to the system. The conflicted emotions I have about this come and go. Some days, I’m less critical of my lack of creative drive. Other times, it feels like a part of me is lost and trying to find myself again.

Yes, I update my blog on a daily basis, but sometimes, I don’t even feel like doing that. Not because I don’t like it anymore, and it’s kind of hard to explain as to why it has changed so much.

Things change as you get older, possibly. And truth be told, my old teenage self was slightly less emotionally filtered, more prone to saying too much in a way.

Has that changed as I’ve gotten older? Of course, to some extent. I genuinely try to think before I speak, you need to have some kind of boundary with yourself. Ensuring that what you’re putting out there is appropriate.

Before 2021 comes to an end, it is a goal of mine to begin the process of writing for my third poetry book, at least complete some part of it. I’m not entirely sure when I’ll manage to publish it, that depends on where I am at in my writing journey and what my instinct is telling me.

I’ve said this before too, being an introvert who loves to express herself is contradictory. Getting out of this shell is proving more difficult than I could have imagined.

There’s many factors and obstacles to overcome in my journey to becoming the best version of myself, in more ways than one.

Every journey varies, person to person. We’re all trying to figure things out. It’s just that, for some of us, it will take more time and I have to accept this.

This is a longer post than usual, but when you have inspiration in your heart to talk about something important, why waste the opportunity?

As always, I hope everyone is doing well and having a great day.
However, if not, just know that you are enough.

Mila. Xo

Nerves About Tomorrow

There is a lot going on at once, but I’m determined to try my hardest.

I hope my memory doesn’t fail me now, because I really don’t want to fail this test again.

Mathematics have never been my strong point. I know a lot, but some things I take one look at and my mind goes blank.

Regardless, let’s see how it goes tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

On the bright side, it’s soon the weekend!

Take care, all of you.

Mila. Xo

Scared To Fail

We all have our fears, and those moments of being scared to fail. Whether it’s work related, academically or any other challenge we face as life progresses on.

Truth be told, people achieve things at different stages of life, and that’s okay. We don’t all have it figured out at 18, 25, or even in our 30’s.

In the society we currently find ourselves a part of, we’ve been conditioned to believe that success is measured in the superficial, idealistic and materialistic.

Yes, some might be more knowledgeable, confident and perhaps better equipped than others. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s contribution as a whole is not as important.

The idea that we’re only worthy of a decent life if we work more hours than our mind can handle, and we look a certain way, act a certain way. Keeping up appearances might be sustainable in the short-term, but the facade of it all will come crashing down, eventually.

Don’t even get me started on how much I can’t stand the hypocrisy of equality and the lack of it in society. We have a lot of laws in place about treating people fairly, but so much of it is just empty words at this point.

Nothing is ever what it appears to be, I know that much.

Different rules apply for different people, which has been in plain sight for many years. We have a long way to go until we achieve any kind of fairness in the world. There’s a lot to work on, and only time will tell how that goes.

When some people say “reality is stranger than fiction”, it’s safe to say, you’re right. If the world needs more of anything, I can think of quite a few things.

The world needs more compassion, fairness, love, empathy, kindness.

I just hope humanity changes for the better.

Mila. Xo

Escapism In Expression

Been distracting myself all day with chores and exercise, it’s the only thing calming my nerves about tomorrow’s meeting/appointment etc. Not only that, I have an exam on Friday, so I’m praying that my mind doesn’t go blank on the day.

In other news, I do look forward to being out and about in the city, long walks can be very therapeutic. I must admit, being out more is strange, considering how most people have been indoors a lot of the time.

A strange time in life, definitely. What also is hard to believe is that it’s July soon. My perception of time has changed a lot in recent months.

Kind of tired but I want to bleach my roots. Anyway, there’s a chance I might fall asleep shortly. Typical Monday, it feels like. Productivity has been great though.

Hope you all have a great rest of your day!

Mila. Xo

Bliss Of Peaceful Sundays

Think I finally got the rest I needed today, which is great. We shall see if I go to sleep soon. Got a lot of revision to do, places to go on Tuesday, and an exam on the 25th.

I’m honestly nervous, because my memory has been so terrible in the last few weeks.

Studying definitely needs to be a priority, my brain needs to retain all that information.

All I want now is a creativity boost so I can write a bit more. Would love to work on stories later in life too.

But for now, this will be enough. I adore my blog. Hope you’re all doing okay. Have a great day!

Mila. Xo

Ahead Of Time

One last minute entry on the blog before I completely forget to update it.

Sat here on my bed, ticking things off my list. I don’t know why, but my mind goes into overdrive when I know there’s certain places to go, people to see.

This next week is going to be a lot, although I’m sure things will get easier in time.

Yet another weekend too, how fun. Let’s hope this one doesn’t end as soon as it starts.

Happy Friday!

Mila. Xo

Busy Friday Ahead

Almost midnight here, tomorrow is Friday and I have a lot to get done on that day.

My mind is racing, too many thoughts at once. Not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose I’m a perfectionist when it comes to planning.

There’s a chance I might fall asleep. Luckily, I managed to write a list of what I need to get done tomorrow. Saturday is going to be fun.

Usually I look forward to the weekend, but when I have important things to do, it makes me kind of stressed at times.

Nonetheless, it’s going to be eventful. Life does not have one dull moment, I can tell you that much.

Mila. Xo

Things To Look Forward To

I almost forgot to write today, but thankfully I managed to remind myself in time.

A semi-productive day, with a few tasks to be accomplished yet. Got a lot of revision to do in the next few weeks, train tickets to book and much more.

Despite how unpredictable life has been for the longest time, I’m trying to remain on the optimistic side of things, as difficult as that may be at times.

The one thing I am looking forward to the most, is seeing family members for the first time in almost 18 months.

What I also look forward to is completing more work on this next poetry book of mine. Maybe I’ll complete it this year, or perhaps in the next year or so, we’ll see.

As always, I hope you all have a great day.

Mila. Xo

Intuitive Mindset

Following my intuition has been a learning curb & then some.

I used to listen to my gut instinct often. Over time, I ended up missing the memo on a lot of inconsistencies, whether it related to people or my own habits, inspiration or lack thereof, and motivation some days.

Becoming more in sync with this is on my list of things to improve, as much as one can possibly achieve without making it too big of a deal.

Not entirely sure why I felt like talking about this particular subject. Might go into more detail in a future post or two.

Kind of exhausted right now, apologies if this sounds like a ramble and a half. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

Mila. Xo