In the last three years, I’ve had so much clarity about many things.
When you see things in a different light, from a perspective you never considered before, it can change you somewhat. It doesn’t happen overnight, but the little details make a big difference.
Hasn’t been an easy journey to take, yet I feel life has only just begun for me. Learning to set boundaries, being kinder to yourself and making decisions based on the data your mind has been collecting all this time. That’s what I want to continue with.
I used to worry so much about people’s opinion of me, tried to be the person they wanted me to be, and ultimately found myself lost in the depths of my insecurities.
Acceptance took a long time, plus you lose a lot of people in the process.
Despite the harsh reality of it all, you just have to face it. Gradually or all at once. It’s uncomfortable, scary, hard to tell which way it’s going to turn out.
We also need more kindness in the world, especially with all the hatred and chaos. Empathy is important, although it depends on the situation and the person, I know.
It all varies, that’s the very obvious thing in all of this. I can’t always find the right words for how I feel, which is okay. We discover new things every day, whether it’s about ourselves or others.
Honestly, I’m still learning and discovering. Where life will take me, and the path I’ll be on the next second, who knows. I don’t even think I’d want to know all the outcomes.
All I know is, I want to be kind, empathetic and I want my self-growth to continue to evolve and strengthen with time. Not sure if this all makes sense, but maybe some of it does.
Just some thoughts I had tonight, and as always, have a good night and I’ll be back tomorrow with another entry on the blog.
A peaceful day, hasn’t really consisted of much except cleaning and watching movies, but I’m cherishing every minute of it.
Sometimes you just need a day or two to get your energy back after a busy week.
It’s the simple yet rewarding moments of each day that I’m learning not to take for granted, because you never know when those will come to an end.
This is a bittersweet month for many reasons, and I’m definitely finding myself more emotional as the days go by. As the 19th marks five years without my grandmother; that’s one of the hardest things about May, and that date haunts me every month, it hurts despite knowing that she’s free of pain and suffering.
All that gives me comfort is that I have an incredible guardian angel in the sky, who looks after me from afar.
After yesterday’s complicated and melancholy atmosphere, I feel like today has balanced it all out, if I’m honest. To add to this wonderful Friday, I also regained access to a writing space that I haven’t been able to log into for the longest time, so that truly made my afternoon earlier.
It’s the weekend once more, and I feel incredibly inspired to create, write, just anything to get my creative mind in shape, if that makes sense at all.
For me, I struggle when there’s creative blocks and I can’t put my feelings or emotions into words/context. Trying to go with the flow on the blog as of recent weeks and months. I know ideas can take time to develop, to make themselves visible or heard.
Being impatient can be a little frustrating, or a lot, it all depends on the events of the day. For now, it’s not all bad. Was hoping to get this written sooner, but life isn’t always on time, no matter how much we try and schedule things into our mind like a calendar.
There’s a chance I might post more than one blog entry tonight, so there’s a heads-up. Again, I hope you have a great weekend, stay safe, be kind and remember that you’re great.
Starting a new month on the weekend is always fun, yet strange in the way that you almost lose track of which day it is.
Nonetheless, I’m trying to appreciate the time I have to destress and get stuff done. Luckily, there’s not much to do, a very positive thing if I must say say so myself.
Plus, it’s a Bank Holiday weekend, so three days instead of two.
This is one of those months where I’m kind of stuck in the middle, emotionally. Many great things to be grateful for, although I miss my late grandmother terribly during this time.
For that reason, the 19th hurts to think about. And my birthday is a week and a day later, so celebrating that feels awkward, but I know my grandmother is in a better place, and she lived a long and unique life, one of the most inspiring women I have ever known to exist, in my eyes.
Grief is hard to navigate, even now, almost five years on.
Our guardian angels are protecting us from above, I know that much by now. And so is the Lord, he works in mysterious ways to guide us and strengthen us.