Good evening, fellow bloggers.
Before I go to bed soon, I just wanted to quickly make a post.
Finding a lot of comfort in writing on the blog again, and I appreciate it more than words can describe. It took a long time to find my way back here, but now that my
writer’s block is finally at bay, and I’m writing on a regular basis, it stops my mind from being too cluttered with thoughts, feelings, opinions etc.
At some point, I’m starting work on this next book, trying not to rush myself with this project. As impatient as I am, getting older definitely teaches you a thing or two.
My birthday is in less than four months time, which is a strange feeling, to say the least. I’m a proud Gemini! Very much complicated, with good intentions at heart.
I’ve got gratitude for days, like the title implies.
Grateful for my family, friends, my faith in the Lord and the positive energy around me.
I have no idea what the future holds for me, but you can always wonder.
Take care, and stay safe, all of you.
Inspiration can strike at any given time or place. Expected and unexpected.
Truth be told, I have often found myself waking up in the middle of a dream or short-lived nap, and suddenly, having this need to express what I have seen or felt during this particular state of mind.
My thoughts are complex, but not always.
Anyway, I’m hoping to sleep at some point in the night, so I wish you all the best, and sleep well (or good morning to the ones just waking up)
People always used to tell me, that a creative child usually becomes a troubled adult.
Well, I used to dismiss the theory. It seemed cliché to me, at least, during my teenage years.
Maybe, that was the denial talking. I’ve always wanted to get down to the root cause, but there has been many examples of it.
I often find myself too involved, the mind can play tricks if you allow it, but it can also help you untangle past behaviors, patterns that seem to align, things you simply can’t shake off.
If my brain was an internal drive, which in many ways, it is, I doubt it would be in a solid state.
As technology progresses, I hope it evolves in a way that changes lives and enhances their sense of knowledge in more ways than just one or the other.
The other thing I find myself worrying about, is the high expectations on my shoulders and the validation that comes along with it, or lack of, if I’m honest.
When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?
I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.
Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.
On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.
It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.
To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.
Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.
To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.
I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.
Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.
Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.
I wrapped my thoughts in denial, thinking it would change the outcome.
To bite your tongue and accept the reality of things, I’ve always taken for granted.
Clarity in front of you, to seek your trust and guide you towards hope.
People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.
I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.
What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.
Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.
After years of wishing to be present at this place, I’m finally here, in what seemed like the longest mission.
But the sad part is, you’re not part of the equation. You’d probably freak out if you knew, or perhaps that’s just me worrying about your reaction.
Being here is odd, wonderful yet strange. We haven’t spoken in over a year, calling you would probably be a bad idea, so I’m pushing my feelings aside and spilling my emotions here instead.
To be honest or just keep thoughts closed, the question spinning inside my mind.
I want to say what I feel, but at the same time, talking on impulse is never a good scenario when your emotions are on full speed.
People always did say that I was a little too vocal about this dear heart of mine, and without too much thought, ended up alienating myself from the ones I cared about the most.
Ultimately, the person on the wrong side of things was me, despite my denials and trials.
Because of my personal insecurities and stupid ways, I lost an important person in my life, someone who stood by me during the hardest moments, not because I deserved it, but because they cared unconditionally.
That’s what I regret the most, losing you.
And it’s not that I desire things to be back to how they were, or how they should have been, but I cannot deny the fact that I miss the friend I knew and loved, and still do.
PS: You’re a bright star in a dim world.
Writing at night has been my thing for such a long time, wonder why I never created a blog specifically for my late night writes. Hey, why not?
Next year, I want a lot of things to be different in my life. Not sure what the future holds, but the only way is forward or no direction at all.
I often sit here, staring blankly at the walls. The night is my shelter and my security. It assures the soul, heart.
Life is hard when certain people are nowhere to be seen, whereas other people are all the places you don’t want them to be.
If only life was as easy as the adults told us kids about, when we were young and free.
No worries, no stress, no money problems and no fear in general, apart from the occasional bruise or falling over a toy.
A simpler time. One that we long for, once doors seem to close and opportunities run out.
It kind of feels like our luck is fading with each year that goes by.
Cherish people, keep memories alive and remember to love. The story is ours to tell.
“This poem is a favorite of mine. I feel like it should be in the yet-to-be-released book, although the process is still ongoing. But you can always comment below and tell me what you think. Yay or Nay?”
The idealistic expectations of what is to be, is at times melancholy at best.
We seek redemption in the arms of strangers but for whom is this comfort suited?
Driven into the arms of someone else out of spite. Dusk until dawn, the nostalgic lust could last for weeks on end.
The picturesque beauty of love was slowly tainted by the broken promises on our bedroom nightstand.
For a minute, it would be heaven to pretend, that an illusion like this could be of greater proportion and depth.
Written out by hands cold from rejection and eyes blinded by devotion to a falling grace upon the stars.
You put your heart on the line, but at what cost?
I’m usually not the kind of person who likes when a year ends and a new one begins but in my own experience, 2016 has been quite the roller-coaster ride; if I must say so, myself.