I figured I would create a little post before I forget. It’s been so great to write every day and to end my streak of inspiration now would be a total waste.
It’s wonderful not to be plagued by writer’s block anymore, or at least not as much of it as I used to have. Sometimes, I suppose, you can get caught up in life’s constant pace of change and stress. Also, writing at night seems to be my time to let it be known.
Not sure if being a midnight owl again is going to benefit me in the long run, but I feel like myself again, in a strange way. Typing away to my heart’s content. A comforting time, in spite of current events in the world and home, one of the many differences in lockdown, third time around.
Had quite the productive day, dealt with the most important household chores, made sure to eat and stay hydrated. I’ve found the strength to get through the changing of habits, in which I wanted to sort out for the longest time.
This has been an interesting week, if I’m honest. Staying on the right track of things might be hard at times, but with determination and a positive mindset, I feel confident that I can do this.
Before I end my little post on the blog, I just want to say thank you to anyone who reads what I have to say on here. This has always been a sanctuary for my thoughts and opinions, hopefully it can be of some comfort for you too.
Writing has been a passion of mine for years, more than ever in times of hardship. It’s kind of like an online journal of sorts, it’s always comforting to have a safe space, whether it’s a journal, a blog or any other kind of platform.
Stay safe, everyone.
Inspiration can strike at any given time or place. Expected and unexpected.
Truth be told, I have often found myself waking up in the middle of a dream or short-lived nap, and suddenly, having this need to express what I have seen or felt during this particular state of mind.
My thoughts are complex, but not always.
Anyway, I’m hoping to sleep at some point in the night, so I wish you all the best, and sleep well (or good morning to the ones just waking up)
To have an ambitious heart, full of hopes and dreams, it is a pity that I’m full of these fears about the future.
As obvious as it might be, trying to distance yourself from them is a lot harder than meets the eye.
The easy way would probably be to blank them out until the denial kicks in, and you believe your own misguided words.
Or, to acknowledge the way you feel and how these fears make you feel or react – equally petrifying, in my opinion.
When you lose your identity in the recycling bin, how do you find that part of you again?
I’m beginning to think, I have a long way to go.
Ever since I can remember, I associated my willingness to help others as my main source of purpose.
On this journey, I have come to understand everything a lot clearer.
It’s hard to articulate this in a way that wouldn’t offend. I’ve suppressed it all to the point where I just go along with the chaos. I don’t like it, even freaks me out most days. Back in the day, this blog was my only sanctuary for all these thoughts. It still is, but to a lesser extent.
To share is one thing, it’s one of the only things that make sense anymore.
Everything else is a blank, quite honestly. I could write a book about this, my mind is an abyss of thought, a lot of it has never been fully dissected nor processed.
To say that I am currently lost in the archive is an understatement. There’s so much I have yet to learn, to see, to experience.
I often wonder, what is my purpose, guide me to where I am meant to stand.
Is this modern world for an old soul like mine? Who knows.
Anyway, excuse the rambling. This is the first blog post where I haven’t been feeling empty. Let’s hope the new decade brings a lot of better days.
Commencing work on my third poetry book project has been harder than anticipated.
Originally, it was meant to have a 2019 release date, but I definitely didn’t want to rush any creative work of mine that has a meaningful message.
And it will also help me document a lot of difficult emotions that I have the want to express, and thoughts I’ve kept away in the archive of my mind.
The older I get, the more I miss the consistency of my writing over the years.
Also, focusing on mindfulness and self-care is on my list. I’ll explain more over the weekend.
Until then, I wish you all a wonderful evening.
I long to fit the requirements,
The world can be a dark space.
Cryptic human; abyss of secrets,
How I wish, you knew my fears.
It felt like I knew you, in another life,
But, timing was never truly on our side.
Grief is such a complex thing to deal with. One minute, you’re absolutely fine, and the next, you could easily find yourself in a melancholy state.
There is never a day where I don’t miss my grandmother, and I do wish that she was still on this Earth.
She’s in a better place now, something I have to bear in mind, each time I feel like this.
Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.
Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.
Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.
For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.
Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.
In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.
Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.
I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.
No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.
There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.
Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.
Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.
Without the people who helped shape us, and the ones who continue to strengthen us, life wouldn’t be quite the same journey, and perhaps, that is the meaning of all this.
Being human is hard at times. Just learning to be patient challenges me on another level. Maintaining that balance of peace and madness.
After all, life isn’t meant to be perfect. Sometimes, it is hard to remember that since, we’re idealistic minds by nature.
More so than ever, I have found myself on this journey of acceptance and discovery.
I had to learn how to let go, understand that there are many things I cannot change, no matter how much it pains me, to know this very crucial information.
Above all, it opened my eyes to clarity, inspiration and commitment. Not only to myself, but the ones who need me.
A wonderful day spent, indeed.