Late Bloomer’s Anthem: That Girl In The Corner

Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.

Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.

Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.

For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.

Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.

In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.

Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.

I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.

No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.

There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.

Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.

Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.

Heartfelt Times Of Us

Without the people who helped shape us, and the ones who continue to strengthen us, life wouldn’t be quite the same journey, and perhaps, that is the meaning of all this.

Being human is hard at times. Just learning to be patient challenges me on another level. Maintaining that balance of peace and madness.

After all, life isn’t meant to be perfect. Sometimes, it is hard to remember that since, we’re idealistic minds by nature.

Gratitude Hour

More so than ever, I have found myself on this journey of acceptance and discovery.

I had to learn how to let go, understand that there are many things I cannot change, no matter how much it pains me, to know this very crucial information.

Above all, it opened my eyes to clarity, inspiration and commitment. Not only to myself, but the ones who need me.

A wonderful day spent, indeed.

Stepping Back Into It: Perfectionist Issues

Taking the time to sit down and write something each day is refreshing, to say the very least. For most of last year, I found it impossible to put my ideas into perspective.

As someone who has written for most of her life, I am constantly looking for ways to improve my work, and I definitely found myself editing my words more than usual, rarely satisfied or content with the end result. Maybe, I’m just a perfectionist.

I am hoping that 2019 will put my mind at ease, a little bit. To not worry about people’s opinions so much, and to remember that I am just a human being who is trying to bring herself joy through self-expression as a whole.

This blog has helped me in many ways, which I am forever grateful for. And I met some incredible souls because of it. Can you believe it’s been almost 4 years since I started? Neither can I.

May you all have an amazing year ahead of you.

Break Of Hiatus: Society’s A Hypocrite

 

It’s been way too long since I’ve posted a blog post, and I’m sorry about that.

Let’s just say that, life has been hectic for the most part. There is a lot I could add, but I don’t want this to be all about my personal and non-personal issues etc.

But, in the near future, I might feel comfortable sharing a bit more. Anyway, it is SO good to be back writing and expressing my thoughts on DAYDREAM MADNESS.

 

A lot has been going on lately, or, as I like to describe my view of it…

 

an unpredictable cycle, of impulse versus instinct”.

 

On the bright side, my new poetry book is out, I’m slowly (but surely) looking for work to pay more bills off, working on a third collection of poems or stories, to publish this year- or the next. As well as, trying to work on my self-esteem and confidence, because having anxiety over every little thing is a nightmare, when inside of your heart, you know what you want and need out of life, but you’re so lost in your own insecurities, that reaching a little bit higher on the cupboard of life is scary.

 

It’s not that I’m lazy or whatever else people like to call me or define me by. If anything, I’m an extrovert living in an introverted, insecure shell of thought. And it really doesn’t help when certain people define me as something I am not, or when they pile the bricks on, just to step on me further.

 

Why should different rules apply for different people?

 

Aren’t we equal human beings; some richer, some poorer. Some younger, some older. It certainly does get on my last nerve, when people drag you into the dirt, instead of reaching their hand out to help you out of it.

 

Society is the biggest hypocrite – and I’m a part of it, nonetheless. We feed the monster that confines us in our comfort zones and limited spaces. Perhaps not on purpose, but we certainly play a big part.

 

 

 

Health And Book Update: A Late Entry

A late entry but, I finally published and made my second poetry book public via the incredible self-publishing company Blurb, who actually congratulated me also, which I thought was so wonderful!

I’ve been meaning to update my blog, just never got around to it because I took some time to relax because of my wisdom tooth extraction. Recovery is going well! It’s been approximately 4 days and I feel great, there’s been no complications or symptoms which I am relieved about.

The best part about it is, no more excruciating migraines at night. Although today, I feel slightly light-headed, but it’s been a warm day also.

On the 13th, it was the third anniversary of my blog, DAYDREAM MADNESS, too! Can’t believe I’ve had it for this long now. The same day, it was actually a whole year since I bought my domain name; one of the best decisions I’ve made for my blog so far.

 

Getting my new book done was also a big relief, because I was behind schedule, and there’s two different book types; softcover and hardcover. Everyone knows the title of it by now, since it’s been spoken about on numerous occasions.

 

But yes, “A Cryptic Human Entity” was an amazing project to work on, creativity wise.

 

The encouragement and support from my closest friends has been wonderful, especially since it was the second anniversary of my grandmother’s passing on the 19th and all events have been clashing with that.

And it’s also my 23rd birthday this Sunday! Usually not too optimistic about it, but I’ll be at a music festival surrounded by incredible music and good vibes, so I can’t complain.

Growing older is perhaps a blessing and a curse; we’re basically ticking clocks, losing time as we speak. It’s an inevitable fate for us all, but life and loss affects us just as much. The point is, we should cherish each moment like we’re about to lose it all. And we shouldn’t take loved ones for granted either.

You can find out more about my new poetry book, “A CRYPTIC HUMAN ENTITY” here: Blurb

And It’s Back To The Blog!

Hello again, everyone! And to the new followers that have appeared recently: Welcome to DAYDREAM MADNESS, a place of honest, complex thoughts expressed by yours truly.

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How It Pains Me To Feel Empty, A Poem

You could twist and turn it as much as you’d like, my darling
But the truth is, it wouldn’t change how it all feels on the inside

If one could paint their face happy, it’d be as easy as picking out
colorful pens and a clean, paper surface, or a new book to read

The mind is tragically overloaded, always heavy in thought 
And the heart, it is seemingly forever lost within, seeking a miracle

No amount of quick fixes could possibly alter your brain permanently, unless you’ve found a cure for misery, which I’m sure you haven’t, and a lot of people have tried, but failed


And it’s not a person’s first choice, do you really think their mind cares what advice or wisdom you might add to their list of manuals to read? No, of course it doesn’t

And it’s not because the person in mind doesn’t like seeing the care in front of them

It’s something deeper than just reading between their lines and transparent smiles 
Don’t worry, it pains them just as much as it pains you to see how it all is

How it pains me to feel empty, not knowing what I am worth as a person
Or what incredible things I could achieve if I just had a little bit of faith in myself
And my potential, not just for other people’s sake, but most of all, for my own closure


My heart is grateful, it always was and gratitude will show
As strength becomes a little easier to digest

But until that day comes, please, just be patient with me, I’m only human.

Just One Of Those Days…

Called the dental practice today. I have to call on Monday and try to schedule an emergency appointment because of my lower wisdom teeth gradually coming through.

I’ve had dental pain in the past, a few problems now and again, but nothing as uncomfortable and persistent like this. Not often do I reach for the ibuprofen tablets on the shelf, but sometimes you just have to. It’s just one of those things, I suppose, really…

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