Slightly nervous about tomorrow, although I am trying to remain hopeful despite all these emotions going on. Patience can be a complex thing.
I honestly feel so good today, though. Lovely food, incredibly productive with my household chores and cleaned the entire house (literally)
This might be a small thing to some, but for me, I appreciate all the accomplishments and achievements of the day, no matter how big or small they might be.
Going to bed shortly after posting this, should have studied more than I have, and I just hope that doesn’t impact my progress. For the most part, I’ve worked hard on a lot, which is not always possible due to many reasons and it depends on the day and how I feel.
Part of me wants to return to listening on 7cups (anonymous website/platform where you can reach out to someone etc) and it’s been on my mind quite often in the last few weeks. On the weekend, I’m definitely going to log in and check what’s new on there.
Anyway, enough of me rambling on. Have a wonderful evening!
In the last week or two, I’ve found myself less motivated. It didn’t all happen at once, but it was a gradual process. For the most part, it’s been helpful to try and do a few productive tasks each day, at the very least.
However, it has become increasingly more difficult in recent days, despite my best efforts. I suppose, I was expecting it to occur at some point, I just didn’t want to lose all the progress made since the start of 2021.
The fact that it’s March is surreal. Perhaps lockdown has made time feel differently for many people, or has it just flown by? Who knows, hopefully things will become better as time does go on and so forth.
In a couple of months, it’ll be five years since my grandmother passed away and I just don’t know how to feel about it anymore. How five years can go by just like that is scary. Losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced, amongst other things.
Things have definitely changed a lot since then, some things at least, not everything. Life is one of those complicated journeys, but that’s all part of the human experience and how that shapes us as people.
Sometimes, I often have to take a step back, have a moment of reflective thought, give myself a chance to live in the moment, not putting so much emphasis on stressing about the future. It is easier said than done.
Giving yourself that break once in a while is essential, at least in my own experience. Writing also helps me a lot, keeping that open dialogue with yourself and others, depending on how comfortable you are, of course.
I believe I’ll leave it at that for now, trying to figure out possible subjects and topics to discuss in the next coming days. Also, forever wishing I could write stories. Would love to complete a novel in my later years, we’ll see.
To be consistently productive is something I truly want to be, but for the past few days, I’ve been feeling quite the opposite. It might have to do with my overthinking, to some extent. However, it does vary depending on what I have to do on that particular day.
I’ve struggled with feeling anxious for a long time, although over the years, I do think that I have kept it under control for the most part. It all ties together with past trauma, life has always been slightly chaotic.
Getting older and finding peace within yourself definitely helps a lot, but there are moments where I do feel overwhelmed. We all have our good days and bad days.
This is something I’m honest about, always have been. Suppressing how you feel is not healthy, sometimes it is the only way to function properly. All of these things are complex, but on a positive note, I genuinely feel like I am in a better mindset, overall. Things are not always easy, but nothing ever is.