It feels like half of my recent blog entries are often not as interesting as they could be and I do apologize about that. Since it’s a personal blog of sorts, yet very open and transparent, I do feel like it’s a strange mix of the two.
Although, I’m always so grateful to anyone who reads any of it. Definitely encourages me and inspires me to keep going. This blog has been a big part of my journey as a person and that is incredible.
Next month marks six years of this blog (many name changes but we’ll ignore that)
Hard to believe that I’ve kept this active for so long, I never stuck to any other blog or website like this. I’m dedicated, for sure.
Where this will lead further into the future, I’m not sure.
The only way is forward, with time.
I spent most of the day focused on studying for this exam, which is a big achievement for me as I usually don’t like it at all. However, failing would honestly disappoint me, so there’s that.
Will try and find an interesting topic to discuss tomorrow, if my schedule will allow an early post.
I’m also waiting for a piece of furniture to be delivered, plus there’s phone calls to be made, a webinar to access at 11am, a lot of math revision because I will try my hardest not to fail this exam on Friday.
That being said, I hope you all have a good rest of Tuesday.
May is around the corner, and I don’t quite know what to make of this fact.
It’s a bittersweet month, for many reasons. I both dread and look forward to it, if that makes sense at all?
Complicated person over here, trying to work all of life out, one step/day at a time. Honestly glad the weekend is here though, I can sleep a lot, eat good food and hopefully write more poems and blog posts.
All I’ve managed to collect and write down is titles for things, creatively speaking. Got a lot on my mind, so that doesn’t help.
I have a complicated relationship with many things in life, which has been a struggle and a half, sometimes. The mind is a strange part of you.
To say emotions are complex is an understatement, understanding them can take a lifetime. In my own experience, it’s very confusing and there’s mixed signals all over.
As you navigate through life, expectations and comparisons arise, more so than ever, which in itself can be daunting. This definitely lives rent-free in my mind, truth be told.
What also becomes evidently obvious is that, we live in a society that puts a timeframe on all achievements, and you’re the odd one out if things aren’t according to schedule.
In my opinion, planning ahead seems pointless at times. We don’t ever have our lives entirely figured out, and if we do, will that last? Maybe, or not.
The older I get, the more I try to shake off that idealistic image of how things should be, to appreciate the scenery in front of me, and the people I get to share these moments with.
Expectations beyond the realistic is a recipe for disaster, it’s not anywhere near sustainable in the long run. That being said, the opinion of this will vary from person to person, as it should.
Anyway, excuse the deep and emotive post tonight, I honestly didn’t know what to write about in the beginning. However, getting back to basics and talking more about these subjects is something that I am aiming to do on this blog of mine.
When I look back on older posts, I do miss being able to express myself in such an honest way. Of course, there’s boundaries and ways to talk about it all in a constructive and structured manner.
I’ll be talking about more light-hearted topics tomorrow, I just needed to get it off my chest, to be honest.
All in all, I’ll leave it at that and I hope you’re all having a great Wednesday!
Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.
Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.
Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.
Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.
When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.
All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.