Sometimes, taking a moment to think before we do or say something is the difference between wrong and right choices in life. At times, I can find myself being impulsive, in terms of buying certain things or making a change somehow (hair bleach sessions included)
Almost bleached my hair earlier, funnily enough. Until I styled my hair in a different way, which made me appreciate my brunette, messy curls. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, so I’m looking forward to that.
Faith is such a big part of my daily life, more so with each day that passes by. Makes me so grateful for the people in my life and the positive changes that have occurred in recent years. And I also believe it keeps me close to my late grandmother. In May, it’ll be the fifth anniversary of her passing and that’s so surreal.
I just hope I make her proud, on this complicated journey of life and experiences.
Looked at old notes earlier, that I previously wrote and saved to my phone and it’s kind of bittersweet. It’s not very often that I do that, mainly because I end up missing certain people.
Nostalgia is tough sometimes, some memories leave a lasting impression on your mind. Whether that’s good or bad, I don’t know.
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. That’s something I was told a while back, and it’s very true, at least for me.
Although, I do wish I had been slightly more mature than I was years ago, maybe it would have changed how things turned out. The “what if” still haunts me to this day.
Earlier tonight, I found myself wanting to reach out to someone in particular, who I haven’t spoken to in about three years, and a part of me has always wanted that person back in my life.
They were one of my closest friends, we had a complicated connection from the start, but I’ve always been curious about how things would be now, if we had remained close, especially since we’re both older and wiser.
Perhaps, in the near future, we’ll be able to reconnect.
Time definitely heals a lot, but not everything, as much as we would like for that to be reality. I feel like I’m starting to lose my train of thought now, so maybe I should leave it at this for the moment.
Need to get some sleep, but I’ll be back with another post tomorrow afternoon or late evening. Tomorrow is Friday, so glad.
To say I appreciate the better, brighter days of life would be an understatement. There’s a lot of gratitude involved, especially if you’ve been through a lot and so, you appreciate every ounce of good that comes your way.
All I want is peace of mind, to be completely honest with you.
It’s hard to know what the future will hold, but I’m trying to just take life one day at a time, because you can’t predict what will happen in the next.
As someone who feels better when I have some kind of vague idea of what a day will be like, that can be difficult. However, there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
Is life going to be predictable? Well, depending on the circumstances and events, it could be, or it could be the complete opposite.
That’s probably a permanent note to self: take it as it comes.
As challenging as that can be, I try to not let fear take the steering wheel, if that makes sense?
This post was meant to be written way earlier, so excuse the late ramblings from yours truly. I also need to get some rest before tomorrow, got a lot of revision and study to complete in the next week.
There’s a chance I might ramble tonight, my emotions have been all over the place, so bear with me. It’s been a rough day, in terms of lacking motivation and not feeling like myself.
One of those days, mother nature does not make things any easier, so there’s that. I managed to get it together later on in the day; did a 30 minute workout, took all my supplements, did my skincare, ate consistently throughout the day, got some new groceries in the morning.
So, all in all, I got through the worst of what I was feeling.
As much as sleeping all day and eating junk was an option, I decided to get on with my daily routine, and stay productive. I’m really glad I did, because I feel a lot better.
Not giving in to temptation is something I’m proud of. In the past, I thought the best way to feel better was to eat junk, distract myself with sleep or binge watch a show or two. All those things are okay to do in moderation, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
I’m trying to teach myself discipline, self-control in terms of food and what I consume on a regular basis. Working on these things is not easy, you don’t change habits overnight, but over time, it becomes easier to manage and keep under control.
You have to dig deep, when it comes to understanding why you do certain things, and the predictable patterns that arise as a result. Once you understand the root cause, that’s when you can properly begin the healing process.
Trauma of any kind is hard to process, and it can take a long time to face it, acknowledge it, be able to speak about it, and also, learn to heal from it and move forward.
Every person’s journey is different, and that’s something I always bear in mind when talking about my own experiences in life, what I’ve been through and how it made me the person I am today.
I think I’ll leave it at that for now, I might elaborate further in future posts on the blog. Excuse the essay tonight, it’s not often I get so invested in what I write, although that is the whole point of DAYDREAM MADNESS.
This is my sanctuary of thought, where I can speak openly and feel a sense of comfort. Writing has always been a powerful outlet for me, it helped me through some dark times, which I’ll be forever grateful for.
Figured I would sit down and get this written up before I go to bed in a while. The day’s not been too bad, a little predictable at times, but that is to be expected.
Anyway, I feel hopeful about the week so far. Routine is pretty much the same each day, although I enjoy the structure of it. Brings some kind of joy to the current circumstances of life.
I do feel incredibly blessed for the ones I know, the people I have gotten to know better over the years, and the ones I have yet to encounter on this journey.
So fortunate for my faith, my continuous sense of hope despite everything that I’ve experienced. And I’m grateful for my guardian angels above, the maternal grandmother I knew and loved very much. And also, the paternal grandmother that I never got to meet.
Some people I prefer not to mention, for other reasons, but I’ll leave it at that. In recent years, I’ve tried my best to forgive and bear no grudges. All it does is weigh your soul down, and it’s not worth the inner sorrow.
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: trust in God.
Stay safe and well, be kind, and God bless you all.
Feeling hopeful in times like this can be a challenge, you just never know what to expect from life. That’s the unpredictable aspect of our lives.
Of course, things are not always meant to be easy. I’m very aware of that.
Although, at times, you can’t help but wonder if the future is any brighter than the present we’re currently experiencing. From time to time, I find myself thinking about this further, then in the end, settling for a realistic outlook on it all.
There wasn’t a lot that I wanted to say tonight, maybe tomorrow will be a better day for that kind of thing. Stay safe and well, everyone.
Quite an early write, I say as I write at 9:30pm on this surprisingly wonderful Sunday evening.
Apart from a few things I have to do still, I’ve completed the majority of what I wanted to achieve today, so that’s a good start.
Despite the slight overthinking that lingered from last night, I feel better, and I managed to get my package from the next door neighbor, it was an order from Candy Kittens, to be specific. I don’t really have a sweet tooth anymore, but when/if I do, those are good. Not too sweet/sour, just right.
The reward system my mobile network provider operates has some good moments, free treats are hard to refuse if the price of shipping isn’t too expensive, haha.
Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling and losing my train of thought. I can talk for hours, which some might find hard to believe as I do have my introverted tendencies.
Plus, the heating works and we’re finally out of the minus degree weather.
I don’t really have much to add, except those few feelings and thoughts of mine tonight. I do want to start writing more poetry and other length material, if anyone’s interested in that kind of stuff.
Not the best at it, but who really is? Even the most talented writers have their own imperfections, which is not a bad thing. No one is perfect.
Might talk more about this over the next week or so.
I do believe I might possibly release something this year, but we’ll see. There’s a lot going on in the world, which is quite evident for a lot of us.
Well, I’ll end this post at that. Hope you’re having a good day/night.
Such a great start, but terribly frustrating end to this Monday evening.
It’s safe to say that I’m kind of done with certain companies and their glitchy websites. Trying to take a deep breath and relax my mind, but it’s difficult sometimes.
Anyway, I have a lot of things to do tomorrow, so wish me luck, that my thoughts don’t get the best of me. Life is so messy at times, but here’s to me trying to persevere through the challenges it brings along.
May all of you have a much better evening, take care and stay safe.
Here I am, trying to finish my bottles of water needed, in order to complete my intake goal. Also recently started intermittent fasting, so the hydration is very important during these vital hours.
Working on my health has been a priority, and it will continue to be on the agenda as the year goes on, and I become fitter and healthier, not to mention, more confident with my body.
Insecurities suck, but I’m trying to work on those things gradually, understand what has to be addressed and improved. It’s not just the physical aspect, but the psychological as well. It’ll take patience with myself, something I often don’t have.
A sensitive topic for many, I’m sure. To be clear, I’m simply expressing my own experiences with it, but the subject can be complicated for many different reasons. The stigma, the shaming, the unrealistic standards we deal with on a regular basis. It can be a lot for a person.
As we evolve and grow, become wiser and stronger, I am certain that these things will be more understood as time goes on. Hold on to that hope.