Steps Forward

If there’s one thing I wish I was good at, it would definitely be drawing.

Often enough, I find myself so taken back at the talent of many gifted artists.

I also wish I could paint beautiful images on canvases too. Being able to express yourself through words is one thing, but creating a visual of your vision is another.

With this next project of mine, I genuinely wanted to take my time, perfect it accordingly to my heart’s content, whilst embracing the beauty of imperfections in the process.

It’s not all aesthetically pleasing, sometimes very far from it. But you can’t always judge a book by its cover, because you never know what magic lies within those pages.

To be honest, I’ve spent enough time being my own worst critic. In this chapter of life, all I want is to feel happy and inspired.

Mila. Xo

Lessons In Gratitude

Today was a lot, but I’m so grateful for the strength that faith has given me, even on the days where I feel defeated.

Saying that my gratitude is in abundance would be an understatement.

All I know is, life is precious and so is our time.

God Bless.

Mila. Xo

Late Evening Outlet

Past eleven in the evening now, and I’ve only just begun writing this up. There’s been a lot of conflicting thoughts in this last week about a lot of things.

As much as I love the weekend and being able to preserve my energy for the next week ahead, I can’t help but wonder how certain people are doing at this moment.

Haven’t heard from them in a while, which is out of character, regardless of circumstances. I just hope that they’re okay and reach out soon.

It’s tough being so far away from some people. I suppose, all you can do is stay positive, when possible.

But aside from that, I genuinely want to express my gratitude for the people in my life. They truly make my life better in many ways.

Mila. Xo

Hopeful Thinking

Thoughts all over the place, especially in the last week.

Despite the stresses of it all, I’m still trying to be hopeful. Proves difficult when you’re anxious about certain things, I must admit.

Was thinking to write more this weekend, but it doesn’t necessarily feel right.

Any kind of outlet in the written sense is good enough, for the time being.

I’ll be back tomorrow, but I truly hope everyone has a good evening, stay safe and take care.

Mila. Xo

Scared To Fail

We all have our fears, and those moments of being scared to fail. Whether it’s work related, academically or any other challenge we face as life progresses on.

Truth be told, people achieve things at different stages of life, and that’s okay. We don’t all have it figured out at 18, 25, or even in our 30’s.

In the society we currently find ourselves a part of, we’ve been conditioned to believe that success is measured in the superficial, idealistic and materialistic.

Yes, some might be more knowledgeable, confident and perhaps better equipped than others. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s contribution as a whole is not as important.

The idea that we’re only worthy of a decent life if we work more hours than our mind can handle, and we look a certain way, act a certain way. Keeping up appearances might be sustainable in the short-term, but the facade of it all will come crashing down, eventually.

Don’t even get me started on how much I can’t stand the hypocrisy of equality and the lack of it in society. We have a lot of laws in place about treating people fairly, but so much of it is just empty words at this point.

Nothing is ever what it appears to be, I know that much.

Different rules apply for different people, which has been in plain sight for many years. We have a long way to go until we achieve any kind of fairness in the world. There’s a lot to work on, and only time will tell how that goes.

When some people say “reality is stranger than fiction”, it’s safe to say, you’re right. If the world needs more of anything, I can think of quite a few things.

The world needs more compassion, fairness, love, empathy, kindness.

I just hope humanity changes for the better.

Mila. Xo

Out Of Place

Societal pressures and the irony of so-called “encouragement” when it comes to being your authentic self is a lot for anyone.

Feeling out of place can weigh heavy on your mind. We’re told our differences make us unique, and that humanity is evolving and becoming more equal, but is it really?

The hypocrisy of it all. If I’m being completely honest, not much has changed.

Yes, there’s been improvements along the way, but we have a long way to go until the world is a more equal, kind place.

Toxicity is all around us; the places we work, the people we know. As much as I strive to be enthusiastic, there comes a time where you see it all for how it is.

It’s so confusing to live in a world where individuality is either praised or not accepted.

When all you want is to just be you, but other people make that so difficult.

The game of life is hard to play, you never know what’s going to happen next. All you can do is hope that it will all be okay.

One day, the puzzle pieces will fall into place and maybe, a bit of peace will come from that.

Who knows. Anyway, I hope I’m not rambling, although this was something I wanted to talk about today.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Mila. Xo

Clean Slate For A New Day

Another one of those nights where I seem to stay up writing in the last minute because not doing so would feel absurd.

Today’s blog entry might be a little short and more spontaneous, but I’m working on it as we speak.

Almost midnight, yet I’m finding it difficult to hibernate for the night. I’ll sleep soon, I promise.

The day has been relatively balanced, with hints of anxiety here and there, in which my inner response was: I had to simply concentrate on other things.

A clean slate for a new day, I tell myself.

My birthday is in two days, almost one if I think about it. It’s a strange feeling, getting older. You learn a lot, or at least in my own experiences.

The more my blog grows and blossoms, I can’t help but feel immense gratitude for the ones who have supported me along the way. It shows me that I’m doing something right, despite how small the achievement might look like currently.

So thank you, for being such a light in my life. And as always, have a beautiful day, or night, depending on where you are in the world.

Mila. Xo

Lasting Memory Of You

Saying goodbye is the hardest thing, especially when the person does not recognize who you are anymore and you could not communicate due to a language barrier that once didn’t exist, not to mention the distance between you and I for the longest of time. That’s what happened in the months before you left this Earth.

Today marks five years without the most loving, compassionate, selfless grandmother a young woman could ever have wished for. It feels just like yesterday when I got the call no one wants to get.

As much as I tried to prepare myself for this moment to arrive because I understood that it was inevitable, it was still one of the most painful moments of my life. Talking about this woman in the past-tense never gets easier, the first few years of grieving the loss, I truly felt numb, crying felt impossible because I was so in denial.

To this day, I cherish our last conversation. You said my name in such a delicate tone, you asked me how my day was, and you said you loved me.

Whenever I have a moment of sadness, or just a tough day in general, I think of you and I smile. You showed me what it means to be strong, your bravery and strength through it all was powerful beyond words, you are truly my hero, my guardian angel above, alongside the other beautiful souls who are up there with you.

What has also made me feel closer to my late grandmother is one of middle names, which is hers and it is right next to my first name, I really find comfort in that. And I also find comfort in faith, because my grandmother kept it near and dear to her heart all her life, until the end.

Immensely grateful for the years I got to know you, you’ll always be so important to me and remembered for your kind heart, nurturing nature and a lot more.

Grief can be such a wake-up call, it makes you appreciate life, love and family more than ever. Of course, bear in mind, the complexity will always be there, regardless of time.

Cherish the ones you love, be kind, take care of you and others and God bless you all.

Mila. Xo

Late Evening Thoughts

A nice day, yet entirely exhausting and having a migraine earlier was not very fun either.

I was planning to write more and do certain things in particular, but on days like this, you have to structure it slightly different.

Overall, the day was great, I just wish time didn’t go by so quick. Before you know it, the week is over and a new one is about to begin.

Hopefully, you’ve had a good day too.

Take care, be kind to you and others.

Mila. Xo