Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.
Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.
Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.
Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.
When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.
All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.
Emotions can be complicated, it can also be a difficult thing to talk about when you’re overwhelmed as it is. However, in some ironic way, sometimes that’s the only way I can write. And it’s important to not suppress how you feel either.
I’m currently in the process of writing for the next poetry book, although at this point, when this will be unveiled or released, not too sure.
However, despite feeling less than ideal, I wanted to come on here and just distract myself from my thoughts for a moment. Writing has always been such a good outlet, in many ways.
Anyway, I’ll probably end the post at this for now, until tomorrow.
Take care, stay safe, be kind to yourself and others.
I wanted to dedicate this post to my loved ones, because today’s events have really highlighted the importance of gratitude, appreciating the people we know, the memories we have, the time we spend on this Earth.
So incredibly grateful for my faith too, it really keeps me humble, and it brings comfort to my heart in times of anxiety and stress. Bear in mind, this is my own personal experience with religion, and of course, every person’s life experiences are different, we have our individual paths, journeys, ways of coping and all else.
Felt compelled to get my emotions out tonight, it’s been a long day and heavily emotive. I have a lot to say, not everything leaves the draft section of my mind or the notes on my phone, but sharing my thoughts in moments like these, it makes me feel better.
Over the years, I definitely have tried to become a better version of myself, to learn and grow from the past. Each day is different, there’s good days and bad days, as well as all of those in-between.
Learning how to manage and balance all of this is tricky sometimes, that’s the complexity of being human. So, to conclude this post, feel free to share your own feelings and thoughts, let me know what’s going on in your life and what you’re grateful for. God bless you all.
Creative blocks are no fun, and I’ve had a lot of them in recent years and months. There’s many ideas, concepts yet no clear vision as to what to create or take from any of mine currently.
I’ll try and spend a little time having a look around, taking the occasional moment to reassure myself that it will all come to mind when the timing is right.
Patience doesn’t always put my thoughts at rest, if anything, frustration multiplies with each attempt. It’s all a work in progress, I’m fully aware.
Daily devotionals are definitely one way that I feel better, after reading one of those each day, same with exercise, some meditation and sometimes, even a bit of singing to brighten the atmosphere.
Also, laughter. I’ve started listening to a lot of podcasts recently, comedy and relatable discussions in particular. Many good ones out there, I must admit.
I don’t think there’s anything else I’d like to add this evening, but perhaps tomorrow I might find a new subject to discuss, whether it’s daily thoughts, a poem I’d like to upload or anything else that I feel would be lovely to share.
To say I appreciate the better, brighter days of life would be an understatement. There’s a lot of gratitude involved, especially if you’ve been through a lot and so, you appreciate every ounce of good that comes your way.
All I want is peace of mind, to be completely honest with you.
It’s hard to know what the future will hold, but I’m trying to just take life one day at a time, because you can’t predict what will happen in the next.
As someone who feels better when I have some kind of vague idea of what a day will be like, that can be difficult. However, there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
Is life going to be predictable? Well, depending on the circumstances and events, it could be, or it could be the complete opposite.
That’s probably a permanent note to self: take it as it comes.
As challenging as that can be, I try to not let fear take the steering wheel, if that makes sense?
This post was meant to be written way earlier, so excuse the late ramblings from yours truly. I also need to get some rest before tomorrow, got a lot of revision and study to complete in the next week.
To be consistently productive is something I truly want to be, but for the past few days, I’ve been feeling quite the opposite. It might have to do with my overthinking, to some extent. However, it does vary depending on what I have to do on that particular day.
I’ve struggled with feeling anxious for a long time, although over the years, I do think that I have kept it under control for the most part. It all ties together with past trauma, life has always been slightly chaotic.
Getting older and finding peace within yourself definitely helps a lot, but there are moments where I do feel overwhelmed. We all have our good days and bad days.
This is something I’m honest about, always have been. Suppressing how you feel is not healthy, sometimes it is the only way to function properly. All of these things are complex, but on a positive note, I genuinely feel like I am in a better mindset, overall. Things are not always easy, but nothing ever is.
Found my motivation lacking a little today, but apart from that, it’s all good.
Might spend the whole night writing, browsing the web for inspiration as I need some right now. Perhaps it’s a good time to start work on the book currently in progress.
Been putting it off for too long.
My concentration is not as good as it once was, one of those things, I suppose. Anyway, I’m rambling now. This happens quite often, although I try and make any post on here meaningful, as complicated as my mind can be sometimes.
The idea that you need to have your life together at a certain time, a certain age, it can all be too much to think about sometimes. We grow up with these idealistic views of what success looks like, what a perfect world entails.
At the young age of 25, I feel increasingly worried about the future. Have I done enough at this age? Am I the odd one out?
It’s not as easy as people think, becoming an overnight success, finding the perfect job, having a perfect forever home. As a whole, society’s standards are difficult to live up to.
Taught to be ourselves, yet persecuted for our differences, our insecurities used as a weapon, people don’t listen to understand, there’s a lack of equality despite all these supposed regulations put in place, to protect us from discrimination, bullying, sexism, racism and many more.
I understand life is not a straightforward experience for the majority of people, but when does it all become too much? And don’t even get me started on the stigma surrounding mental health and the simple yet complex task of asking for help when necessary.
Fake it ’til you make it, or so I’ve been told about a dozen times or more.
Turning a blind eye to your problems is a temporary fix, ignoring them won’t solve anything. Facing them is equally challenging, but the comfort you feel once you do so is a sense of relief, a burden off your shoulders.
Life will get tougher before it gets better, I’m sure.
I just hope the future is much brighter than it has been in these recent weeks, months, even years. After all, you never know what to expect.
Figured I would sit down and get this written up before I go to bed in a while. The day’s not been too bad, a little predictable at times, but that is to be expected.
Anyway, I feel hopeful about the week so far. Routine is pretty much the same each day, although I enjoy the structure of it. Brings some kind of joy to the current circumstances of life.
I do feel incredibly blessed for the ones I know, the people I have gotten to know better over the years, and the ones I have yet to encounter on this journey.
So fortunate for my faith, my continuous sense of hope despite everything that I’ve experienced. And I’m grateful for my guardian angels above, the maternal grandmother I knew and loved very much. And also, the paternal grandmother that I never got to meet.
Some people I prefer not to mention, for other reasons, but I’ll leave it at that. In recent years, I’ve tried my best to forgive and bear no grudges. All it does is weigh your soul down, and it’s not worth the inner sorrow.
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: trust in God.
Stay safe and well, be kind, and God bless you all.