hiatus

Six Months On: Life Update



What can I say? Another hiatus bites the dust, and I am so happy about it. Also, how has it been six months already?!


For the longest time, I didn’t feel motivated or inspired to write and it has been a nightmare, especially since writing has helped me through so many difficult moments in life, and helped me navigate through all the complex emotions we face each day as human beings. A lot has been going on, but my creative mind has just been a complete blank, when it came down to expressing this in words.

I’ve struggled with writer’s block many times before, as well as frequent self-critical thoughts, not thinking any of my work is good enough to put out there. It is a lot. Not sure if it’s imposter syndrome, or my need for perfection taking over and causing havoc.

Either way, I found myself wanting to write today and it is a good feeling. There has been a lot of life changes: I started a new job, my skin is improving, I am becoming physically healthier and less anxious. Whilst I am still a work in progress, I feel like acknowledging these things are my way of having gratitude and instinctly trusting that I am on the right track.

I am not sure how frequently I’ll update the blog, but I definitely want to write more and have some kind of consistency towards the end of 2022 and the beginning of 2023. Might even post a few poems at some point, I would love to further develop my progress with the third poetry collection I am working on.

Looking forward to the weekend, are you?


Mila. Xo

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Narrative Of A Distant Stranger

With each hiatus, the guilt intensifies. It used to be less complicated, when it came to knowing what to say. It’s like staring in the mirror and not recognizing the face looking back. Call it writer’s blues, an obstacle of sorts, or something else along the lines of that.

Either way, there is a level of comfort in coming back, with a clear head, mindset in a better place. Struggles will come and go, as will many things, including people, memories, experiences and time.

Inspiration and motivation really does come at weird times. It’s almost five in the morning and for some reason, it felt like the right time to sit down with this little notebook on my lap, and just start expressing my thoughts.

Better late (or early) than never, I suppose. Also, I am not entirely sure what the title of this blog post represents, it just sounded nice. Maybe I just used it because I didn’t want to forget it?

It could make a good poetry concept, in the near future. We’ll see, though.

Speaking of poetry, I’ve really been slacking with this third project of mine. For a while now, something didn’t feel right anymore and I think a lot of it has to do with the overall theme of deceit and betrayal. Is it worth pursuing? Of course, there’s a time and place for all things emotive.

Only time will tell what I decide to do, a shift in themes might be good for my mind and soul. Food for thought, honestly. We all need a clean slate.

A little tired at this point, trying not to ramble. There might be some physical changes to the blog soon, not sure yet. I feel like it needs some love and care after being absent for months. A bit of change is therapeutic. For example, I recently cut my hair short and I am loving the current length.

The main reason why I did it was to let my hair recover from years of bleaching, dyeing, and heat styling. If my patience wears away, I might find myself becoming a blonde again by the end of this horrific year. Who knows, I make no solid promises to stay the same.

As I end this blog post, I want to thank the ones who have supported this blog throughout. The world needs more people like you.

Take care, stay safe.


Mila. Xo

Last Day Of 24, Hello 25!

Hello again, blogging universe.

I am finally back with a new blog post, after what feels like a lifetime of not being able to express my thoughts out in the open.

It’s less than an hour until midnight, and my birthday is around the corner. Yes, the big 2-5. I know, not as special as someone’s 21st or 30th and so forth, but I wanted to get back into writing again, and tonight felt like the right time to do so.

To say that I have been creatively blocked is an understatement. In fact, I have found it increasingly difficult to express myself in the written form.

To whoever reads my post, thank you for sticking around. I plan to make an effort in the months to come. My third poetry book is still a work in progress, I’m working on a lot of things at the moment, much of it has to do with learning to find balance and peace.

But, as I’m sure most poeple know, it can be hard. The older I get, the more I have gratitude for the small things that make life so wonderful. The good, bad and ugly.

With time, you definitely learn to see things from a different perspective, the clarity can be very bittersweet at times, but that’s a part of our journey.

I am so grateful for the people who are in my life at this moment. You are truly magnificent.

Anyway, excuse my rambling on. I’m just thrilled to be here. My beloved blog recently turned 5, on the 13th of May and I often find it strange how fast time has gone by.

I’ll end this post by saying: take care of yourself, and have a wonderful day/night.

Mila. Xo

Break Of Hiatus: Society’s A Hypocrite

 

It’s been way too long since I’ve posted a blog post, and I’m sorry about that.

Let’s just say that, life has been hectic for the most part. There is a lot I could add, but I don’t want this to be all about my personal and non-personal issues etc.

But, in the near future, I might feel comfortable sharing a bit more. Anyway, it is SO good to be back writing and expressing my thoughts on DAYDREAM MADNESS.

 

A lot has been going on lately, or, as I like to describe my view of it…

 

“an unpredictable cycle, of impulse versus instinct”.

 

On the bright side, my new poetry book is out, I’m slowly (but surely) looking for work to pay more bills off, working on a third collection of poems or stories, to publish this year- or the next. As well as, trying to work on my self-esteem and confidence, because having anxiety over every little thing is a nightmare, when inside of your heart, you know what you want and need out of life, but you’re so lost in your own insecurities, that reaching a little bit higher on the cupboard of life is scary.

 

It’s not that I’m lazy or whatever else people like to call me or define me by. If anything, I’m an extrovert living in an introverted, insecure shell of thought. And it really doesn’t help when certain people define me as something I am not, or when they pile the bricks on, just to step on me further.

 

Why should different rules apply for different people?

 

Aren’t we equal human beings; some richer, some poorer. Some younger, some older. It certainly does get on my last nerve, when people drag you into the dirt, instead of reaching their hand out to help you out of it.

 

Society is the biggest hypocrite – and I’m a part of it, nonetheless. We feed the monster that confines us in our comfort zones and limited spaces. Perhaps not on purpose, but we certainly play a big part.