All these emotions, running through your mind
When all you want is peace
For healing to set your mind free
And love to bring light
All these thoughts, of which you’ve been consumed
When all you wanted was to feel safe
For time to heal your heart
And the sun to shine on you
People always used to tell me, that a creative child usually becomes a troubled adult.
Well, I used to dismiss the theory. It seemed cliché to me, at least, during my teenage years.
Maybe, that was the denial talking. I’ve always wanted to get down to the root cause, but there has been many examples of it.
I often find myself too involved, the mind can play tricks if you allow it, but it can also help you untangle past behaviors, patterns that seem to align, things you simply can’t shake off.
If my brain was an internal drive, which in many ways, it is, I doubt it would be in a solid state.
As technology progresses, I hope it evolves in a way that changes lives and enhances their sense of knowledge in more ways than just one or the other.
The other thing I find myself worrying about, is the high expectations on my shoulders and the validation that comes along with it, or lack of, if I’m honest.
When life seems to improve, you start to feel a little better about the coming months ahead. I’m excited to see what this year will bring me, or who I’ll meet as of yet.
To live is a blessing, but to have lived, a fulfilled life; of beautiful moments, precious memories and everlasting joy is a treasure in one’s eyes. It melts your heart like butter, and reminds you just how lucky you are, as a human, and as a person.
A little nudge to the obstacles that have tried, and not succeeded in bringing one’s soul down. Let love guide your heart, and let light fill your mind, remain you in time.
Two blog posts in a short time, never thought it would happen in 2016 but hello.
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It starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.
What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.
I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?
Been so inspired today, it got me thinking about book ideas & what I want it all to be like.
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Dear you,
It’s been a crazy time in life but it’s getting better each day, the chaos is still present but I know obstacles are there to help me face the fears I need to the most. I wish you were as confident as you are today, if only I knew the blossoming process of the heart would begin just after that specific moment in time. There’s been love, there’s been heartbreak, and most recently; the loss of the grandmother who shaped your heart into the one it is today. She’s at peace and no longer in pain and that’s what you should always remind yourself of in times of grief and sadness. It will hurt and the pain never truly goes away, but as you appreciate each day and each breath, you’ll be making her so proud way up from above.
Creativity wise, keep writing, never lose sight of your dreams and keep going until you reach that damn goal of yours. Poetry is not about what it brings you, but more about the joy it brings to write your heart out, regardless if you’re rambling or simply expressing.
Love on the other hand, is something you shouldn’t focus on too much right now. Focus on your own wellbeing before walking into the path of companionship. Appreciate the friends that have been there from day one and remember that life goes on no matter if someone leaves you or you leave them. I know you’re not in the right state of heart to love again, neither should you force yourself to be with someone for the sake of being in the company of anyone. Love at the right time, love the person who truly deserves you and let go of the ones who do not deserve your time and affection, because they don’t appreciate it, rather less than you originally had thought. Focus on you and you’ll be in a much happier place of mind because of it.
I thought writing this letter would be a good idea because I wish you knew how great life is and how good it can be, in the company of the right people and the family that loves you.
Life is a blossoming flower, for it to grow, you need to nurture the mind, feed the soul a lot of love and care, take care of the heart that beats for you and always appreciate each moment of life because you never know when it will end.
A girl with a whole heart to spill emotional damage, boys and girls never understood the meaning of her tense demeanor until it punched them in the face. Sinners were no match for this heart of tricks, she took a breath away in seconds and you never forgot her face. Continue reading
DAYDREAM MADNESS 
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