What can I say? Another hiatus bites the dust, and I am so happy about it. Also, how has it been six months already?!
For the longest time, I didn’t feel motivated or inspired to write and it has been a nightmare, especially since writing has helped me through so many difficult moments in life, and helped me navigate through all the complex emotions we face each day as human beings. A lot has been going on, but my creative mind has just been a complete blank, when it came down to expressing this in words.
I’ve struggled with writer’s block many times before, as well as frequent self-critical thoughts, not thinking any of my work is good enough to put out there. It is a lot. Not sure if it’s imposter syndrome, or my need for perfection taking over and causing havoc.
Either way, I found myself wanting to write today and it is a good feeling. There has been a lot of life changes: I started a new job, my skin is improving, I am becoming physically healthier and less anxious. Whilst I am still a work in progress, I feel like acknowledging these things are my way of having gratitude and instinctly trusting that I am on the right track.
I am not sure how frequently I’ll update the blog, but I definitely want to write more and have some kind of consistency towards the end of 2022 and the beginning of 2023. Might even post a few poems at some point, I would love to further develop my progress with the third poetry collection I am working on.
Looking forward to the weekend, are you?
We Meet Again, Hello June
It’s a new month, once more. To think six months have gone by already, that is strange yet intriguing.
Had plenty of good ideas on what to write, but when you’ve got the flu, you just need to take a step back, focus on your health and rest, so that’s what I’ve been doing for the most part.
My energy levels might be low right now, but my optimism isn’t. That being said, I’m currently writing this as I contemplate what time to sleep, or if I can sleep at all tonight. Congestion is not fun.
But, I’m not letting that get in the way of a lot, although exercise is something that I have been less focused on.
That’s not a bad thing, of course. I try and listen to what my body is telling me.
Hope you’re all having a good day and I’ll speak to you more on the next entry of the blog.
Late Evening Thoughts
A nice day, yet entirely exhausting and having a migraine earlier was not very fun either.
I was planning to write more and do certain things in particular, but on days like this, you have to structure it slightly different.
Overall, the day was great, I just wish time didn’t go by so quick. Before you know it, the week is over and a new one is about to begin.
Hopefully, you’ve had a good day too.
Take care, be kind to you and others.
The next couple of days are going to be a lot, so I’ll probably try and get some interesting subjects and topics written up and discussed in advance.
We’ll see how it goes, I can’t necessarily promise anything, because who knows what the next day or two will bring and so forth, if that makes sense?
Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Grief Is Complicated
Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.
Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.
Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.
Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.
When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.
All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.
Space To Feel: Sunday Gratitude
I’ve said this many times, but Sunday is the best day of the week.
A day to unwind, complete a few household chores and take a moment to relax. Been sleeping a lot too, the extra rest was so necessary.
Hoping to start writing more from tomorrow onwards, I need to get into a consistent schedule. Working on this third poetry book is going to take some time, a journey that I am looking forward to.
This was on my mind for the longest time, honestly.
Had too many creative hiatuses in the past, and there was a long time where I didn’t write much at all, my inspiration just wasn’t there anymore.
It’s tough when you truly have a lot of love for writing and creativity as an outlet. I honestly can’t believe I’ve had this blog for almost 6 years, that is so mad.
As someone who made a lot of old blogs and didn’t update them for long, wrote on different websites anonymously and was relatively low profile until I started publishing poetry independently in 2017, the fact I stayed with this one is something I’m proud of.
DAYDREAM MADNESS is my pride and joy and I look forward to seeing where this will lead in the future. Anything can happen, the sky is not the limit.
Some things are easier to feel, process and deal with than others are.
It truly makes you appreciate little things: sunshine, the presence of a clear sky, long walks, listening to your favorite song, out of the blue inspiration.
Could list many more, but let’s start with those for now.
Emotions can be complicated, learning what ultimately helps can be a bit tricky. Self-care is so important too, taking the time to be patient with yourself, as hard as that can be.
Appreciation For Little Things
There’s a lot to be grateful for in life, such as your health, the support you have in the form of friends and family. I genuinely appreciate it all; the good, the bad and the ugly.
As much as life can have twists and turns, and a few plot changes along the way, the main point is: it’s not always good, and it’s not always bad.
It can be more complex than that, depending on your circumstances and so forth, but over time, healing does commence a lot of the time. Well, in my experience, getting older has definitely helped me unpack old memories, analyze them and understand it all from a different perspective.
You learn a lot from your experiences, it’s true. I’ve had my fair share of complex memories, feelings and thoughts. But as a whole, I’m grateful for what I have learned and accomplished since then.
Progress is progress, in my opinion. No one is perfect, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, fears, problems, personal battles.
Another thing I want to speak about is the importance of reaching out when you need to. It can be difficult, you might struggle to, until a certain point in your life, but once you find that strength within you to make that decision, to take that first step, the sense of relief that comes with that is liberating.
Well, I suppose I could end tonight’s post on that note.
It’s honestly wonderful to have this blog of mine, this is my sanctuary of thought, a safe place. DAYDREAM MADNESS is my pride and joy, it has been for almost six years, which is hard to believe.
Anyway, I’ll leave it at that for now. Take care of you and stay safe.
February Ends Soon
Only two days left of the month, I find it hard to believe at times.
Had a slight “break” from the healthy side of things, but I’m sure it’ll be back on track by Monday. It’s fine, these things happen.
Anyway, I feel like I’m falling asleep as we speak, but I didn’t want to lose my streak of writing on the blog.
To all the new followers, welcome, and thank you for your support.
As we welcome March into our lives, I’m just having this moment of gratitude for many things. Life can be complicated sometimes, but that’s part of the journey and experience.
Living One Moment At A Time
The idea that you need to have your life together at a certain time, a certain age, it can all be too much to think about sometimes. We grow up with these idealistic views of what success looks like, what a perfect world entails.
At the young age of 25, I feel increasingly worried about the future. Have I done enough at this age? Am I the odd one out?
It’s not as easy as people think, becoming an overnight success, finding the perfect job, having a perfect forever home. As a whole, society’s standards are difficult to live up to.
Taught to be ourselves, yet persecuted for our differences, our insecurities used as a weapon, people don’t listen to understand, there’s a lack of equality despite all these supposed regulations put in place, to protect us from discrimination, bullying, sexism, racism and many more.
I understand life is not a straightforward experience for the majority of people, but when does it all become too much? And don’t even get me started on the stigma surrounding mental health and the simple yet complex task of asking for help when necessary.
Fake it ’til you make it, or so I’ve been told about a dozen times or more.
Turning a blind eye to your problems is a temporary fix, ignoring them won’t solve anything. Facing them is equally challenging, but the comfort you feel once you do so is a sense of relief, a burden off your shoulders.
Life will get tougher before it gets better, I’m sure.
I just hope the future is much brighter than it has been in these recent weeks, months, even years. After all, you never know what to expect.
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