Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.
Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.
Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.
Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.
When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.
All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.
I’ve said this many times, but Sunday is the best day of the week.
A day to unwind, complete a few household chores and take a moment to relax. Been sleeping a lot too, the extra rest was so necessary.
Hoping to start writing more from tomorrow onwards, I need to get into a consistent schedule. Working on this third poetry book is going to take some time, a journey that I am looking forward to.
This was on my mind for the longest time, honestly.
Had too many creative hiatuses in the past, and there was a long time where I didn’t write much at all, my inspiration just wasn’t there anymore.
It’s tough when you truly have a lot of love for writing and creativity as an outlet. I honestly can’t believe I’ve had this blog for almost 6 years, that is so mad.
As someone who made a lot of old blogs and didn’t update them for long, wrote on different websites anonymously and was relatively low profile until I started publishing poetry independently in 2017, the fact I stayed with this one is something I’m proud of.
DAYDREAM MADNESS is my pride and joy and I look forward to seeing where this will lead in the future. Anything can happen, the sky is not the limit.
There’s a lot to be grateful for in life, such as your health, the support you have in the form of friends and family. I genuinely appreciate it all; the good, the bad and the ugly.
As much as life can have twists and turns, and a few plot changes along the way, the main point is: it’s not always good, and it’s not always bad.
It can be more complex than that, depending on your circumstances and so forth, but over time, healing does commence a lot of the time. Well, in my experience, getting older has definitely helped me unpack old memories, analyze them and understand it all from a different perspective.
You learn a lot from your experiences, it’s true. I’ve had my fair share of complex memories, feelings and thoughts. But as a whole, I’m grateful for what I have learned and accomplished since then.
Progress is progress, in my opinion. No one is perfect, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, fears, problems, personal battles.
Another thing I want to speak about is the importance of reaching out when you need to. It can be difficult, you might struggle to, until a certain point in your life, but once you find that strength within you to make that decision, to take that first step, the sense of relief that comes with that is liberating.
Well, I suppose I could end tonight’s post on that note.
It’s honestly wonderful to have this blog of mine, this is my sanctuary of thought, a safe place. DAYDREAM MADNESS is my pride and joy, it has been for almost six years, which is hard to believe.
Anyway, I’ll leave it at that for now. Take care of you and stay safe.
The idea that you need to have your life together at a certain time, a certain age, it can all be too much to think about sometimes. We grow up with these idealistic views of what success looks like, what a perfect world entails.
At the young age of 25, I feel increasingly worried about the future. Have I done enough at this age? Am I the odd one out?
It’s not as easy as people think, becoming an overnight success, finding the perfect job, having a perfect forever home. As a whole, society’s standards are difficult to live up to.
Taught to be ourselves, yet persecuted for our differences, our insecurities used as a weapon, people don’t listen to understand, there’s a lack of equality despite all these supposed regulations put in place, to protect us from discrimination, bullying, sexism, racism and many more.
I understand life is not a straightforward experience for the majority of people, but when does it all become too much? And don’t even get me started on the stigma surrounding mental health and the simple yet complex task of asking for help when necessary.
Fake it ’til you make it, or so I’ve been told about a dozen times or more.
Turning a blind eye to your problems is a temporary fix, ignoring them won’t solve anything. Facing them is equally challenging, but the comfort you feel once you do so is a sense of relief, a burden off your shoulders.
Life will get tougher before it gets better, I’m sure.
I just hope the future is much brighter than it has been in these recent weeks, months, even years. After all, you never know what to expect.
Another day, another blog post on DAYDREAM MADNESS.
I was going to write this earlier in the day, but lost track of time and better late than never, in my opinion.
Got my whole list ticked off before 8pm, so that was a nice feeling.
Started some new supplements today, which really helped my energy levels. I’ve become quite interested in all things health, nutrition and more.
To be honest, I’ve never felt better. I truly wish I had found this motivation sooner than I did, but I lost interest many times in the past.
As I got older, I definitely appreciated myself a lot more, took the time to better my life for me and no one else. Every person’s journey is different, and mine has always been imbalanced as of recent years.
More than ever, I’m determined to stay on track and find balance.
Easier said than done, but I think it’s going pretty well so far.
Going to sleep rather soon, I need all the rest I can get for tomorrow’s long day ahead. Wishing you all well, take care of yourselves and stay safe.
Sundays honestly is my favorite day of the week. I don’t know if that makes me feel good about life, or just old? Also, the aftermath of eating junk food over two days was a lot. I actually don’t miss it at all, which is quite a new thing for me.
But, that’s just my thoughts regarding that. It does confirm to me that I feel much better eating meals that I cook from scratch, and it also saves me a lot of money in the long run, so that’s another positive way of encouraging myself to stay on track with my change of lifestyle and overall health journey.
I prefer to not call it a diet, because that can bring out some lingering insecurities of mine. All I can say is, I’m working on it. Moderation is key, so is a balanced lifestyle and understanding the importance of nutrition.
It’ll take time, but the end result will make all of this worth my while.
This past month or so has been a real eye-opener.
It’s February 1st tomorrow, which is really hard to believe, but time doesn’t stand still for anyone. Spent a lot of time reflecting and moving ahead and I look forward to this next month.
Found it a little difficult knowing what to write, but I want to keep this streak of writing alive for the time being. After all, this is a personal blog.
I’ve been meaning to start work on my next book of poetry, although it’s still a work in progress. A lot is going on, but I’m feeling positive so far.
Focusing on my health is a priority at the moment, as well as other things alongside that. I am determined to stick to my resolutions this year, in a healthy and gradual way. I try not to call it ‘dieting’ as it can trigger unhealthy eating habits.
Being the impatient young woman I am, it can feel like this whole process is taking a long time, yet I do understand that it’s not an overnight change.
Anyway, I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend.
Having the willpower to stay on track with exercise and eating well seems a lot more difficult during the weekends. I do enjoy working out, aerobic dance is fun, wireless earbuds have been one of the best purchases that I made in 2020.
I did plan to get another hour of exercise in before the end of today, but I already did 30 minutes and that was a good start. Incorporating that into my routine each day is something that I’m still working on, but the gradual weight loss has been very encouraging to witness.
During this lockdown, I’ve really been interested in fitness and overall health in general, which has been an interesting journey by all means.
The end goal has always been to become healthier, in a gradual, healthy way and I honestly do believe it’ll be worth it in the end. Patience is difficult, I am the most impatient person on this planet.
Positive affirmations help too, keeping track of your progress and just knowing that these things take time, there is no transformation overnight.
Remembering to be kind to yourself is important, I know I’ve had my fair share of insecurities. It’s always so wonderful seeing others be body positive, and it reminds me that I’ll get there too, eventually.
Getting older, you feel more comfortable in your skin, and that’s very accurate to some extent. It can be such a complex subject, especially in today’s society.
Regardless, I’m proud of my progress so far, and it’s nice to feel good about yourself. When I reflect back to how teenage me felt, I just wish I could tell her that things will be okay.
Anyway, excuse the long essay on here. Stay safe & well.