healing

Back At It: Hiatus Over

Hello again, what a long time it has been since my last upload on the blog.

I wasn’t planning to have a hiatus of this length, but it is what it is and I am back with a vengeance.

Truthfully, I have struggled with writer’s block a lot for many months, even years at this point.

Life has been all over the place, so have my emotions. Not being able to convey or express how I’ve been feeling has affected me quite heavily.

I put a lot of pressure on myself in all aspect of life, whether it is my appearance or what my poems are about. The hunger for perfection is insatiable, to put it bluntly.

Creativity has always had a big place in my mind, heart and soul. So to feel like nothing I did was good enough was very taxing on my mental health and it still is, sometimes.

The goal is to take baby steps, and start off small and build my way back up the ladder once more. It might not always be consistent or on point, but it will be authentic to me and my journey of it all.

Just wanted to say a big thank you to anyone who has followed or just discovered my blog on here. Any engagement I receive is wholeheartedly appreciated. It truly means the world and encourages me to continue, even if I’m not feeling my best.

What are my plans for the months ahead?

As of now, I hope to update the blog at least once a week, if not more. It all depends on life’s schedule and God’s plan for me on this path.

I count my blessings every day that I have good health, a wonderful support system and an overall decent life.

That’s not to say that there won’t be challenges along the way, but I will take that on if the occasion arises.

For the time being, I want to remain present and in tune with the universe so a hiatus like the previous one is out of the question.

Balance is key, which an impatient person like me needs to be reminded of on a daily basis.

It is my hope that I can commence further work on my third poetry collection, and make progress with that as it has been four years since A Cryptic Human Entity.

Well, as of tomorrow it will be the 4th anniversary of that second poetry book and I still cannot fathom it.

The theme for the next book is still up for debate. I feel like a lot has changed and evolved since my initial concept for it, that I might do something completely different.

I have a lot that I want to share and heal from on an emotional level, timing is key too.

There’s a chance I might do a mini version of the next collection, and a full, extended edition of the poetry book next year. So excited to finally start this project in a proper way.

Until then, stay tuned for more updates as I go along. After all, we only have the life God gave us, we need to make every second count.

And also, happy belated 7th anniversary to my pride and joy, this little blog of mine, DAYDREAM MADNESS.

It’s also my birthday in 12 days, how exciting! But anyway, hope you all have an amazing rest of your weekend and I’ll speak to you soon.

Happy Sunday and God bless you all!

Yours truly,

Mila. Xo

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Hello 2022: Happy New Year!

As the title says, 2022 is finally here.

Happy New Year to all of you, WordPressers!

I look forward to a year of consistent uploads, and I am sure you do too.

Made a promise to myself that 2022 would be the year that I focus on writing more, I also want to be more present on social media as well, and I am hoping to make some changes to DAYDREAM MADNESS in terms of layout, change things up a bit, so definitely stay tuned for that over the next few months or so.

Starting work on poetry book #3 is also going to be a priority this year, it has been almost 4 years since my last project was created, so this is long overdue, in my opinion.

I can honestly not believe it has been so long since Lay Your Hands Bare (2017) & A Cryptic Human Entity (2018) were made public for the first time.

With each collection, I want to challenge myself and learn to express my emotions and thoughts in a balanced way, especially the ones that are attached to trauma.

I have a long way to go until the healing process is anywhere near complete, or accomplished in some way, shall we say. I am very grateful for the wisdom and clarity that has been brought into my life in the last few years.

Getting older has taught me so much about myself, as well as other people and their intentions.

And I just wanted to say thank you for the almost 500 followers I’ve managed to get on here since 2015, it truly means the world.

Despite the inconsistencies and hiatuses, you’ve always given me a reason to stick with the blog, regardless of how much or little I might post.

Being an introvert, it can be tricky knowing how to step outside the box for once. It can be awkward a lot of the time, truthfully.

But writing is therapy, it is an outlet for those very difficult thoughts and feelings. I’m not planning to share everything about my life, but I do want to be more open and confident in myself.

Insecurities can get the best of you sometimes, I know that all too well.

So, be kind to yourself and others, take one day at a time and just know that life is a complex journey, but it’ll be okay. You will be okay, no matter how tough it might be right now.


Love,

Mila. Xo


Out Of Place

Societal pressures and the irony of so-called “encouragement” when it comes to being your authentic self is a lot for anyone.

Feeling out of place can weigh heavy on your mind. We’re told our differences make us unique, and that humanity is evolving and becoming more equal, but is it really?

The hypocrisy of it all. If I’m being completely honest, not much has changed.

Yes, there’s been improvements along the way, but we have a long way to go until the world is a more equal, kind place.

Toxicity is all around us; the places we work, the people we know. As much as I strive to be enthusiastic, there comes a time where you see it all for how it is.

It’s so confusing to live in a world where individuality is either praised or not accepted.

When all you want is to just be you, but other people make that so difficult.

The game of life is hard to play, you never know what’s going to happen next. All you can do is hope that it will all be okay.

One day, the puzzle pieces will fall into place and maybe, a bit of peace will come from that.

Who knows. Anyway, I hope I’m not rambling, although this was something I wanted to talk about today.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Mila. Xo

Intuitive Mindset

Following my intuition has been a learning curb & then some.

I used to listen to my gut instinct often. Over time, I ended up missing the memo on a lot of inconsistencies, whether it related to people or my own habits, inspiration or lack thereof, and motivation some days.

Becoming more in sync with this is on my list of things to improve, as much as one can possibly achieve without making it too big of a deal.

Not entirely sure why I felt like talking about this particular subject. Might go into more detail in a future post or two.

Kind of exhausted right now, apologies if this sounds like a ramble and a half. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

Mila. Xo

First Day Of 26

One of the best things about celebrating birthdays as an adult is not presents, although any you receive are always appreciated – at least by most.

What I truly love the most is, the people you get to spend time with, the joy in the room. The last year or so has impacted a lot of people’s lives, mentally, emotionally and physically. And my heart goes out to all of those who have lost loved ones and continue to navigate life in these strange and difficult times.

So grateful for the birthday wishes yesterday, and any belated ones I might receive in the days to come.

Bank Holiday weekend is here and I hope you all have a wonderful Friday.

God bless you all and stay safe.

Mila. Xo

Temporary Distractions

Nostalgia and apathy, contradictory mix of the mind’s emotional response, and lack thereof. Workouts and staying productive takes the edge off to some extent.

I don’t know what’s worse, suppression of this reality or accepting that these thoughts and feelings exist?

Both are equally hard to navigate. If only I could articulate them into words and make art of it all. I always find it easier to write about darker subjects, or so it used to be.

Might look into writing submissions and story competitions, get my creativity in shape, as silly as that may sound. I understand you have to go with the flow, but my impatience can make that very difficult.

On a lighter note, I just realized that tomorrow marks three years since I published my second poetry collection via Blurb, A Cryptic Human Entity.

I can’t believe it, honestly. Three whole years tomorrow.

Will post a link to it on the next post, to commemorate this beautiful, precious moment in time. You can also find it quite easily online.

I do regret the lack of promotion when it first was published, but again, there was a lot going on in life the first months of it being out for the world to see.

That being said, I’ll always be proud of my work, regardless of who buys it or what happens next. For me, just holding the book in my hands was incredible and emotional.

Writing has always been a part of my life, something I hold near and dear to my heart and soul. I’m not the best at it, but I’ve still got a lot of learning and growing to do. My story is still being written as we speak.

It has gotten me through a lot of difficult times, so has this blog of mine too. It’s not just self-expression or art in written form, it’s therapy, a sanctuary.

Mila. Xo





Journey Of Acceptance

Do you ever hear or see something that leaves you in a deep train of thought for the rest of the evening? That’s so me tonight.

I think I’ve managed to navigate my emotions to a happier place, for the time being. How long that will last, who knows, but I appreciate it and try to embrace it.

Emotions can be so complex and hard to navigate, process and understand in a logical way. Truth be told, that has been me many times.

As I’m getting older, the appreciation for my strength during the darkest of times has only increased. It reminds me that life is a journey, and healing of any kind takes a lot of patience.

Wasn’t planning to talk about this, but I felt compelled to.

All I can say is: take your time, it’ll get better.

That’s all for today, stay safe.

Mila. Xo

Heavy Minded

Last half of the week has been interesting, emotively speaking.

Those heavy emotions can be a lot to process, hopefully as they subside, it’ll be a reason to create something positive out of the situation.

Just taking a deep breath, reminding yourself that it’s okay, it does help to some extent, depending on the intensity of your thoughts, of course.

Tomorrow is Friday, which is always good to know. I’ve got many things that need to be done, making a change to my hair tomorrow too, I honestly need a change at this point. It’s been nice giving my hair a break from all the dyes, bleaching and more, but sometimes you want a different look.

We’ll see how it goes, I’ve got back-up hair products in case, haha.

Mila. Xo

Complexity Of Being Human

I wanted to dedicate this post to my loved ones, because today’s events have really highlighted the importance of gratitude, appreciating the people we know, the memories we have, the time we spend on this Earth.

So incredibly grateful for my faith too, it really keeps me humble, and it brings comfort to my heart in times of anxiety and stress. Bear in mind, this is my own personal experience with religion, and of course, every person’s life experiences are different, we have our individual paths, journeys, ways of coping and all else.

Felt compelled to get my emotions out tonight, it’s been a long day and heavily emotive. I have a lot to say, not everything leaves the draft section of my mind or the notes on my phone, but sharing my thoughts in moments like these, it makes me feel better.

Over the years, I definitely have tried to become a better version of myself, to learn and grow from the past. Each day is different, there’s good days and bad days, as well as all of those in-between.

Learning how to manage and balance all of this is tricky sometimes, that’s the complexity of being human. So, to conclude this post, feel free to share your own feelings and thoughts, let me know what’s going on in your life and what you’re grateful for. God bless you all.

Mila. Xo