Last half of the week has been interesting, emotively speaking.
Those heavy emotions can be a lot to process, hopefully as they subside, it’ll be a reason to create something positive out of the situation.
Just taking a deep breath, reminding yourself that it’s okay, it does help to some extent, depending on the intensity of your thoughts, of course.
Tomorrow is Friday, which is always good to know. I’ve got many things that need to be done, making a change to my hair tomorrow too, I honestly need a change at this point. It’s been nice giving my hair a break from all the dyes, bleaching and more, but sometimes you want a different look.
We’ll see how it goes, I’ve got back-up hair products in case, haha.
I wanted to dedicate this post to my loved ones, because today’s events have really highlighted the importance of gratitude, appreciating the people we know, the memories we have, the time we spend on this Earth.
So incredibly grateful for my faith too, it really keeps me humble, and it brings comfort to my heart in times of anxiety and stress. Bear in mind, this is my own personal experience with religion, and of course, every person’s life experiences are different, we have our individual paths, journeys, ways of coping and all else.
Felt compelled to get my emotions out tonight, it’s been a long day and heavily emotive. I have a lot to say, not everything leaves the draft section of my mind or the notes on my phone, but sharing my thoughts in moments like these, it makes me feel better.
Over the years, I definitely have tried to become a better version of myself, to learn and grow from the past. Each day is different, there’s good days and bad days, as well as all of those in-between.
Learning how to manage and balance all of this is tricky sometimes, that’s the complexity of being human. So, to conclude this post, feel free to share your own feelings and thoughts, let me know what’s going on in your life and what you’re grateful for. God bless you all.
Slightly nervous about tomorrow, although I am trying to remain hopeful despite all these emotions going on. Patience can be a complex thing.
I honestly feel so good today, though. Lovely food, incredibly productive with my household chores and cleaned the entire house (literally)
This might be a small thing to some, but for me, I appreciate all the accomplishments and achievements of the day, no matter how big or small they might be.
Going to bed shortly after posting this, should have studied more than I have, and I just hope that doesn’t impact my progress. For the most part, I’ve worked hard on a lot, which is not always possible due to many reasons and it depends on the day and how I feel.
Part of me wants to return to listening on 7cups (anonymous website/platform where you can reach out to someone etc) and it’s been on my mind quite often in the last few weeks. On the weekend, I’m definitely going to log in and check what’s new on there.
Anyway, enough of me rambling on. Have a wonderful evening!
Despite previous hesitation, I’ve decided to follow my instinct and go with my initial vision for poetry book number three. The book title was chosen all the way back in 2019, if I can remember correctly.
At first, I was planning to change the entire concept, but after today’s strange events and the analysis it triggered, it felt right, more than ever, to bring the first vision of this book to life.
I wanted this next project to be centered around healing, the positive changes that arise during a time of self-restoration and the importance of stepping away from unhealthy situations, people, your own personal insecurities and all of the other issues that we face as individuals.
However, in escaping my own comfort zone and talking about the more heavier, less idealistic scenarios and understanding the emotions that come along with it all, I now can feel a sense of peace in the fact that talking about it is part of my healing process and my way of moving forward.
I’m excited to go on this journey again, it’s been a while.
Knowing where to start is a different story, do I start writing first or constructing a book cover? Only time will tell.
Nonetheless, it feels like the right moment in time to begin, and I can’t wait to see what the final outcome of this will look like in the near future.
There’s a chance I might ramble tonight, my emotions have been all over the place, so bear with me. It’s been a rough day, in terms of lacking motivation and not feeling like myself.
One of those days, mother nature does not make things any easier, so there’s that. I managed to get it together later on in the day; did a 30 minute workout, took all my supplements, did my skincare, ate consistently throughout the day, got some new groceries in the morning.
So, all in all, I got through the worst of what I was feeling.
As much as sleeping all day and eating junk was an option, I decided to get on with my daily routine, and stay productive. I’m really glad I did, because I feel a lot better.
Not giving in to temptation is something I’m proud of. In the past, I thought the best way to feel better was to eat junk, distract myself with sleep or binge watch a show or two. All those things are okay to do in moderation, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
I’m trying to teach myself discipline, self-control in terms of food and what I consume on a regular basis. Working on these things is not easy, you don’t change habits overnight, but over time, it becomes easier to manage and keep under control.
You have to dig deep, when it comes to understanding why you do certain things, and the predictable patterns that arise as a result. Once you understand the root cause, that’s when you can properly begin the healing process.
Trauma of any kind is hard to process, and it can take a long time to face it, acknowledge it, be able to speak about it, and also, learn to heal from it and move forward.
Every person’s journey is different, and that’s something I always bear in mind when talking about my own experiences in life, what I’ve been through and how it made me the person I am today.
I think I’ll leave it at that for now, I might elaborate further in future posts on the blog. Excuse the essay tonight, it’s not often I get so invested in what I write, although that is the whole point of DAYDREAM MADNESS.
This is my sanctuary of thought, where I can speak openly and feel a sense of comfort. Writing has always been a powerful outlet for me, it helped me through some dark times, which I’ll be forever grateful for.
Halfway through the week and it’s mad how fast time seems to pass by.
Looking forward to a good night’s sleep, after I get some minor study done. It’s been quite a bittersweet day, but all you can do is just keep certain people in your thoughts and hope they’re doing well.
I could go into further detail, but let’s keep it vague and not to mention, private. On a positive note, a sibling of mine has a birthday tomorrow so that’s something to quietly celebrate at home.
January went by quick, am I right? Lockdown and all the restrictions make most days seem identical, but all in all, as long as you’re staying safe and keeping yourselves protected, that’s the main thing at the moment.
Weather seems to be less cold today, which is nice. It’s dark outside by the time it’s 5pm, sometimes earlier than that. Hopefully, we get a bit of sunshine soon.
I’ll try and write tomorrow’s post a bit earlier in the day, if possible.
As always, stay safe and take care of yourself and others.
Having the willpower to stay on track with exercise and eating well seems a lot more difficult during the weekends. I do enjoy working out, aerobic dance is fun, wireless earbuds have been one of the best purchases that I made in 2020.
I did plan to get another hour of exercise in before the end of today, but I already did 30 minutes and that was a good start. Incorporating that into my routine each day is something that I’m still working on, but the gradual weight loss has been very encouraging to witness.
During this lockdown, I’ve really been interested in fitness and overall health in general, which has been an interesting journey by all means.
The end goal has always been to become healthier, in a gradual, healthy way and I honestly do believe it’ll be worth it in the end. Patience is difficult, I am the most impatient person on this planet.
Positive affirmations help too, keeping track of your progress and just knowing that these things take time, there is no transformation overnight.
Remembering to be kind to yourself is important, I know I’ve had my fair share of insecurities. It’s always so wonderful seeing others be body positive, and it reminds me that I’ll get there too, eventually.
Getting older, you feel more comfortable in your skin, and that’s very accurate to some extent. It can be such a complex subject, especially in today’s society.
Regardless, I’m proud of my progress so far, and it’s nice to feel good about yourself. When I reflect back to how teenage me felt, I just wish I could tell her that things will be okay.
Anyway, excuse the long essay on here. Stay safe & well.
This has been a constant note to self since 2020 began, almost two weeks ago. You don’t need validation from others to be happy.
It doesn’t mean you’re not going to try and get it from other people, or find peace of mind in it. I often compare it to an abyss, the anxieties and self-doubt that comes from the need of validation is not at all helpful.
So many times, I have felt in need of it, and I still don’t understand why, and sure, there are people who have different qualities and different skills, comparing myself to them will only hold me back from achieving what I know in my heart, that I am capable of. It is easier said than done, but with enough patience and faith, anything is possible. And it will happen, when it is meant to.
Until then, I’ll just have to be patient and kind to myself.