Plans For The Weekend

It’s been a surprisingly good day.

Despite the fact that I’m absolutely exhausted from my walk earlier and so nervous about getting my exam result at some point next week, the hope is still there.

Was close to falling asleep before, so gathering some energy to write a quick post on here took a lot.

A long weekend, you can’t complain about that, can you?

My birthday is also getting closer by the hour and I’m still very conflicted.

Yes, getting older is great, you learn so much in a small space of time and I’m grateful.

It can be quite bittersweet sometimes, though.

All in all, happy Friday everyone!

Mila. Xo

Clear Skies And Sunshine

Sunny weather can have such a positive impact on your mood and it’s brilliant. The last couple of days, I’ve never felt better.

Easter is around the corner too, which I’m looking forward to as well.

I’m hoping to focus on the new book project a lot in these next few weeks or so. Connecting with my friends again would be cool, social interaction of any kind is good for the soul. Well, depending on the situation, I suppose.

Cherish your loved ones, live in the moment, be kind to yourself.

That’s what I’d tell my younger self: be brave.

Mila. Xo

Late Bloomer’s Anthem: That Girl In The Corner

Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.

Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.

Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.

For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.

Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.

In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.

Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.

I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.

No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.

There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.

Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.

Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.

Silent Observation

People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.

I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.

What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.

Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.

Back To Basics: Writing Routines

Back to blogging, finally! I can’t express how glad I am, to be updating DAYDREAM MADNESS, with another (hopefully) interesting post.

A lot has happened, but I think writing about it all would take a whole book’s worth, so let’s keep it simple for now.

The sun is out and so is the positive energy surrounding me. I just love the idea of new scenery, the beauty of it all is so inspiring for the creative mind.

I’ve not completely abandoned my work or the progress in terms of my poetry book. In fact, two or three new and finished poems have been completed.

There’s just editing and development to take into consideration. So, this has been a great time for me on a creative level.

A lot needs to be done, although the progress so far has been greater than I could ever have imagined. Plus, with incredibly creative friends in my life, the cover will be just as exciting to see finished as the book has been to write.

I’ll be updating my blog more frequently from this point on. If not every day, then perhaps once every two or three days, depending on my phone’s battery level and the amount of time to put something together.

Well, I’ll be sure to keep you posted. Take care, have a beautiful day! Xo

Long Weekend, Happy Writer

Writing a blog post from my smartphone is weird. I’m so used to typing away on the notebook, but my dearest writing companion is awaiting a new battery and my new AC adapter arrived earlier so that’s definitely a start. I wanted to update my blog sooner but never got the chance. And Monday is a bank holiday, my alarms will be switched off, what a great feeling. Hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. I have so much to be grateful for, without a doubt. Thank goodness for wonderful friends, family & blogging! Xo

what getting older taught me about life

Today, I would like to discuss something that I’ve always been passionate speaking about.
It’s about how getting older taught me valuable lessons in life, past & presently as well.

For most people, life begins as soon as you start breathing.
Mostly, it’s true and I agree with certain parts to an extent.
However, I felt like it didn’t truly begin until I was old enough to
understand the difference between living and existing, that’s when I
felt my life really started making sense, for the first time in my whole existence.

It sounds a little far-fetched, and perhaps that’s how I see it,
but the definition of life is different for everyone and I can’t even say that
enough times. In my personal experience, what getting older taught me the most is
that life is never as complicated as we might imagine it’d be.
And I say this in my own experience of it, not anyone else’s.
Anyway…getting older taught me to always respect the ones present in life
(except the ones who least deserve it, I let them go) and to never take anything
for granted because the existence of life is never guaranteed. In this age of time,
some of us forget how fragile life is in reality, and how easily it can be taken away
without a single thought. I know this because I lost my dear grandmother this year.
Getting older also helped me learn many valuable lessons,
such as, never count the days in which you live, but count the amount of good energy
that surrounds it, and the amount of wonderful moments created in that space of time.
For me, poetry was always the shoulder to cry on, the support always needed,
which is a big reason why I am putting together a book of poems from my heart,
creating good out of bad experiences, memories I’d rather forget and so forth.
It makes the work more authentic and personal in that sense.‎

breaking points

okdIt starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.

What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.

I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?

 

triple threat

untitled202

Been so inspired today, it got me thinking about book ideas & what I want it all to be like.
Continue reading “triple threat”

the day after

found myself writing a lot now, I don’t know if it’s out of guilt for abandoning my blog or if it’s because I have all these emotions I need to get out of my system in a decent expressive way.

I find myself rambling on, not caring if anyone gives a damn because the only opinion that should matter is my own, but at the same time, validation of my own words will always weigh heavy on my mind regardless.

if only I could live without a care in the world. there’s a lot of me I don’t show the people I love, the darker, the twisted parts of my personality that I simply hide between poetry and numbness.

I know it’ll never amount to complete and utter success, and that clichéd poets rarely find their mark on people’s lives, but my heart wants none but soul and heartfelt connection.