Note to self: Trust your instinct more often.Continue reading
Today was a lot, but I’m so grateful for the strength that faith has given me, even on the days where I feel defeated.
Saying that my gratitude is in abundance would be an understatement.
All I know is, life is precious and so is our time.
It feels like half of my recent blog entries are often not as interesting as they could be and I do apologize about that. Since it’s a personal blog of sorts, yet very open and transparent, I do feel like it’s a strange mix of the two.
Although, I’m always so grateful to anyone who reads any of it. Definitely encourages me and inspires me to keep going. This blog has been a big part of my journey as a person and that is incredible.
Next month marks six years of this blog (many name changes but we’ll ignore that)
Hard to believe that I’ve kept this active for so long, I never stuck to any other blog or website like this. I’m dedicated, for sure.
Where this will lead further into the future, I’m not sure.
The only way is forward, with time.
I spent most of the day focused on studying for this exam, which is a big achievement for me as I usually don’t like it at all. However, failing would honestly disappoint me, so there’s that.
Will try and find an interesting topic to discuss tomorrow, if my schedule will allow an early post.
I’m also waiting for a piece of furniture to be delivered, plus there’s phone calls to be made, a webinar to access at 11am, a lot of math revision because I will try my hardest not to fail this exam on Friday.
That being said, I hope you all have a good rest of Tuesday.
In the last week or two, I’ve found myself less motivated. It didn’t all happen at once, but it was a gradual process. For the most part, it’s been helpful to try and do a few productive tasks each day, at the very least.
However, it has become increasingly more difficult in recent days, despite my best efforts. I suppose, I was expecting it to occur at some point, I just didn’t want to lose all the progress made since the start of 2021.
The fact that it’s March is surreal. Perhaps lockdown has made time feel differently for many people, or has it just flown by? Who knows, hopefully things will become better as time does go on and so forth.
In a couple of months, it’ll be five years since my grandmother passed away and I just don’t know how to feel about it anymore. How five years can go by just like that is scary. Losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced, amongst other things.
Things have definitely changed a lot since then, some things at least, not everything. Life is one of those complicated journeys, but that’s all part of the human experience and how that shapes us as people.
Sometimes, I often have to take a step back, have a moment of reflective thought, give myself a chance to live in the moment, not putting so much emphasis on stressing about the future. It is easier said than done.
Giving yourself that break once in a while is essential, at least in my own experience. Writing also helps me a lot, keeping that open dialogue with yourself and others, depending on how comfortable you are, of course.
I believe I’ll leave it at that for now, trying to figure out possible subjects and topics to discuss in the next coming days. Also, forever wishing I could write stories. Would love to complete a novel in my later years, we’ll see.
Feeling hopeful in times like this can be a challenge, you just never know what to expect from life. That’s the unpredictable aspect of our lives.
Of course, things are not always meant to be easy. I’m very aware of that.
Although, at times, you can’t help but wonder if the future is any brighter than the present we’re currently experiencing. From time to time, I find myself thinking about this further, then in the end, settling for a realistic outlook on it all.
There wasn’t a lot that I wanted to say tonight, maybe tomorrow will be a better day for that kind of thing. Stay safe and well, everyone.
January is almost coming to an end, it feels strange acknowledging that fact. Well, that and the fact that I have a lot of math study to do.
After writing this quick post, I’ll try and get some work done and hopefully go to sleep tonight. I wouldn’t recommend staying awake all night, the aftermath can be so awful, haha.
Regardless, the day hasn’t been too bad. I just find it hard to believe that the weekend is just around the corner, yet again. Lockdown makes every day seem either very abrupt or it drags on, every time you look at the clock.
Having a routine does help a lot, it keeps my mind from being cluttered with too many thoughts. I do want to start journaling and keeping track of my feelings and emotions. An offline diary of some kind, honestly.
I have messy handwriting, though. Apparently, that means you’re intelligent or something. But in all fairness, I’m just an intellectual who maybe thinks too much at times, and that ultimately gives me a lot to speak about.
This blog helps me with keeping it all balanced. Which I’m glad for.
Anyway, take care of you and stay safe today.
Life is nothing like we envisioned, as little children. We’ve been taught to believe that we’re just a puzzle piece to place, another foundation to lay.
Our state of mind crumbles, as we see the world for what it is. Disguised as a flaw, seen as a weakness.
Instead of encouraging one another, we have been programmed to function, in a different manner.
We’re motivated by our greed, the pressure to succeed is inevitably a weight on our shoulders.
If only some of us had the voice or the courage to break the stigma, once and for all. But of course, talking about taboo subjects is another challenge, in place.
Anyone who does, I’m forever intrigued and inspired by you.
People assume, because you’re quiet, that nothing bothers you and you are simply not heard.
I have written a thousand times over, but still, ever lost in this maze of emotions and scenarios.
What do I want to happen? I simply cannot tell you. What do I seek from my experiences? Just some clarity, and guidance.
Silence is not a weakness, and I will no longer be silenced.
Hello, world. I am finally back on the blog, just in time
for my annual resolutions post for the coming New Year.
You have NO idea, just how much I have missed updating-and expressing my thoughts on this platform of mine. For months on end,
I have seen others create incredible content, and envied the fact that their hearts were so inspired and motivated to do so. Keep it up, you inspire me!
Good To Be Writing Again
It’s been a rollercoaster of emotion, bittersweet encounters, and endless obstacles. But through it all, I have kept my composure and sanity in tact.
The same really can’t be said for others, however. I have experienced more betrayal and disloyalty this year, than any other. And to this day, I still can’t wrap my head around it entirely. Truth be told, I gave them enough chances.
A Struggle To Express
For weeks, I have been trying to put together this post as a whole, it was a lot harder than I anticipated. If it wasn’t for the love and support of my family and friends, I would have felt differently about 99% of 2018’s life experiences and unfortunate events. God truly blessed me in that way.
It Was A Tough Year
Ever since the year began, cracks surfaced. Things escalated to the point of no return. The damage has been done, but the strength within, it continues to thrive.
Keep Your Hope Alive
I also found myself closer to religion and faith, which I truly believe has saved me, in more ways than one. When you open your eyes to the truth, you see things from a new perspective. It helps you grow as a person, stay connected to your core beliefs and values.
Reflection & Acceptance
We are not without flaws as human beings, but having the maturity to reflect and learn from our life lessons is so important. You can only dwell on your denial for a certain amount of time, before it all collapses.
You’re Only Human
Sure, a lot of us will keep making tiny mistakes every once in a while, and we’ll most likely never learn entirely, but that’s okay too. Just because you fall once, it doesn’t mean you’re not going to get back up again.
Stay True To You
As long as you’re conscious of what is happening around you, and you’re acknowledging the root causes and accepting it for what it is, that’s a good start. We aren’t perfect, which is what makes us human. Some of us are more reserved, some of us, more outspoken. Individually complex.
For 2019’s resolutions, I wanted to keep it simple and straightforward.
Here’s my tiny list:
- submit a lot of poetry submissions
- write for my third book of poems
- become a healthier person (body, mind etc)
- read the whole Bible in its entirety
- upgrade the blog again
What are your resolutions for the New Year?