emotions

Poem: paper-thin apologies

This is a poem I wrote tonight. I wasn’t planning to, neither did I think I was going to write one at all. But I did, and I wanted to post it on the blog. Not the best thing I’ve written, yet not the worst either. Enjoy.

Submerged with all these fears

They look through her like glass

Eyes stained with cruelty and spite

You find your way through the cracks

Of her broken mind

Like the river of tears

That fills her eyes

And runs down her face

Mila. Xo

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Anxious Mind

That feeling when you have things to do tomorrow, but your racing mind has other plans. Honestly, this anxiety has been weighing heavy on me.

All I want right now is some clarity, peace of mind and to know some people are okay.

Sundays are usually the best part of the week, but it’s been very bittersweet.

Faith definitely has kept me grounded in times where I’ve struggled the most.

Grateful for the Lord, my family, my friends and more. Have gratitude for all things in life.

Mila. Xo

What If I Lose My Creativity?

From an early age, I found a sanctuary in writing stuff down, not knowing if I would end up regretting doing so or being thankful that I ultimately did.

It’s not just about being creative, but having a passion for what you’re creating. In recent years, I’ve noticed a decline in motivation, particularly when it comes to writing, and that is very disheartening to witness, first-hand.

From being the young girl who couldn’t stop writing, to barely writing at all, it’s a very gradual yet abrupt shock to the system. The conflicted emotions I have about this come and go. Some days, I’m less critical of my lack of creative drive. Other times, it feels like a part of me is lost and trying to find myself again.

Yes, I update my blog on a daily basis, but sometimes, I don’t even feel like doing that. Not because I don’t like it anymore, and it’s kind of hard to explain as to why it has changed so much.

Things change as you get older, possibly. And truth be told, my old teenage self was slightly less emotionally filtered, more prone to saying too much in a way.

Has that changed as I’ve gotten older? Of course, to some extent. I genuinely try to think before I speak, you need to have some kind of boundary with yourself. Ensuring that what you’re putting out there is appropriate.

Before 2021 comes to an end, it is a goal of mine to begin the process of writing for my third poetry book, at least complete some part of it. I’m not entirely sure when I’ll manage to publish it, that depends on where I am at in my writing journey and what my instinct is telling me.

I’ve said this before too, being an introvert who loves to express herself is contradictory. Getting out of this shell is proving more difficult than I could have imagined.

There’s many factors and obstacles to overcome in my journey to becoming the best version of myself, in more ways than one.

Every journey varies, person to person. We’re all trying to figure things out. It’s just that, for some of us, it will take more time and I have to accept this.

This is a longer post than usual, but when you have inspiration in your heart to talk about something important, why waste the opportunity?

As always, I hope everyone is doing well and having a great day.
However, if not, just know that you are enough.

Mila. Xo

Nerves About Tomorrow

There is a lot going on at once, but I’m determined to try my hardest.

I hope my memory doesn’t fail me now, because I really don’t want to fail this test again.

Mathematics have never been my strong point. I know a lot, but some things I take one look at and my mind goes blank.

Regardless, let’s see how it goes tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

On the bright side, it’s soon the weekend!

Take care, all of you.

Mila. Xo