To be consistently productive is something I truly want to be, but for the past few days, I’ve been feeling quite the opposite. It might have to do with my overthinking, to some extent. However, it does vary depending on what I have to do on that particular day.
I’ve struggled with feeling anxious for a long time, although over the years, I do think that I have kept it under control for the most part. It all ties together with past trauma, life has always been slightly chaotic.
Getting older and finding peace within yourself definitely helps a lot, but there are moments where I do feel overwhelmed. We all have our good days and bad days.
This is something I’m honest about, always have been. Suppressing how you feel is not healthy, sometimes it is the only way to function properly.
All of these things are complex, but on a positive note, I genuinely feel like I am in a better mindset, overall. Things are not always easy, but nothing ever is.
There’s a chance I might ramble tonight, my emotions have been all over the place, so bear with me. It’s been a rough day, in terms of lacking motivation and not feeling like myself.
One of those days, mother nature does not make things any easier, so there’s that. I managed to get it together later on in the day; did a 30 minute workout, took all my supplements, did my skincare, ate consistently throughout the day, got some new groceries in the morning.
So, all in all, I got through the worst of what I was feeling.
As much as sleeping all day and eating junk was an option, I decided to get on with my daily routine, and stay productive. I’m really glad I did, because I feel a lot better.
Not giving in to temptation is something I’m proud of. In the past, I thought the best way to feel better was to eat junk, distract myself with sleep or binge watch a show or two. All those things are okay to do in moderation, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
I’m trying to teach myself discipline, self-control in terms of food and what I consume on a regular basis. Working on these things is not easy, you don’t change habits overnight, but over time, it becomes easier to manage and keep under control.
You have to dig deep, when it comes to understanding why you do certain things, and the predictable patterns that arise as a result. Once you understand the root cause, that’s when you can properly begin the healing process.
Trauma of any kind is hard to process, and it can take a long time to face it, acknowledge it, be able to speak about it, and also, learn to heal from it and move forward.
Every person’s journey is different, and that’s something I always bear in mind when talking about my own experiences in life, what I’ve been through and how it made me the person I am today.
I think I’ll leave it at that for now, I might elaborate further in future posts on the blog. Excuse the essay tonight, it’s not often I get so invested in what I write, although that is the whole point of DAYDREAM MADNESS.
This is my sanctuary of thought, where I can speak openly and feel a sense of comfort. Writing has always been a powerful outlet for me, it helped me through some dark times, which I’ll be forever grateful for.
Have a good evening, take care of you, stay kind.
I’m honestly so glad the weekend is finally here!
Found my motivation lacking a little today, but apart from that, it’s all good.
Might spend the whole night writing, browsing the web for inspiration as I need some right now. Perhaps it’s a good time to start work on the book currently in progress.
Been putting it off for too long.
My concentration is not as good as it once was, one of those things, I suppose. Anyway, I’m rambling now. This happens quite often, although I try and make any post on here meaningful, as complicated as my mind can be sometimes.
The idea that you need to have your life together at a certain time, a certain age, it can all be too much to think about sometimes. We grow up with these idealistic views of what success looks like, what a perfect world entails.
At the young age of 25, I feel increasingly worried about the future. Have I done enough at this age? Am I the odd one out?
It’s not as easy as people think, becoming an overnight success, finding the perfect job, having a perfect forever home. As a whole, society’s standards are difficult to live up to.
Taught to be ourselves, yet persecuted for our differences, our insecurities used as a weapon, people don’t listen to understand, there’s a lack of equality despite all these supposed regulations put in place, to protect us from discrimination, bullying, sexism, racism and many more.
I understand life is not a straightforward experience for the majority of people, but when does it all become too much? And don’t even get me started on the stigma surrounding mental health and the simple yet complex task of asking for help when necessary.
Fake it ’til you make it, or so I’ve been told about a dozen times or more.
Turning a blind eye to your problems is a temporary fix, ignoring them won’t solve anything. Facing them is equally challenging, but the comfort you feel once you do so is a sense of relief, a burden off your shoulders.
Life will get tougher before it gets better, I’m sure.
I just hope the future is much brighter than it has been in these recent weeks, months, even years. After all, you never know what to expect.
When it comes to fear, or the stresses of certain situations, I often try to analyze and accept what I’m feeling at that particular moment.
Sometimes, it’s not always so easy.
My mind is slightly complex, the same yet different to everyone else’s.
I used to feel shame at getting overwhelmed over some things, it felt like I was the only one at times. (bear in mind, I’ve come a long way and it’s not as bad as it used to be)
To be honest, talking about it shouldn’t have to feel awkward. Everyone has their own struggles and worries, some are just more manageable than others.
And that’s okay, something I often tell myself in notes, diary entries etc.
Life has been a strange and complicated journey, but I’m grateful and blessed in many ways, and I’ve got a good support system.
I’m writing this currently on my phone because I have no energy to use my laptop. Got a few things to do tomorrow, nothing special.
Just hoping that it’ll be okay and I’ll have my peace of mind restored in no time.
This brings us to the end of another blog entry.
I’ll be back tomorrow to share yet another day of thoughts. This is truly a sanctuary for my mind.
God bless you all, and stay safe.
As much as I am grateful for life as it is today, I can’t help but wonder about what could have been in another outcome of events. I know, it’s kind of ridiculous at this point.
But sometimes, your mind just wants to know.
When you have to discuss certain parts of your life, I suppose the curious side of you emerges.
I’ve learned a lot about my past over the last few years or so. Suppressing your feelings about it is a temporary solution. Such a complex journey, yet I do believe that I have found closure as a result.
We can’t change our pasts, unfortunately. As tough as that is for someone like me in moments like this, all I can do is acknowledge it, process it to the best of my ability and accept it.
That’s easier said than done, ultimately.
As I get older, I do hope that things start to make a little more sense.
Well, maybe I’ll write a book about it, or perhaps a novel of some kind. That’s something I hope to do in my later years. We’ll see if it happens.
Stay safe, and I hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Halfway through the week and it’s mad how fast time seems to pass by.
Looking forward to a good night’s sleep, after I get some minor study done.
It’s been quite a bittersweet day, but all you can do is just keep certain people in your thoughts and hope they’re doing well.
I could go into further detail, but let’s keep it vague and not to mention, private. On a positive note, a sibling of mine has a birthday tomorrow so that’s something to quietly celebrate at home.
January went by quick, am I right? Lockdown and all the restrictions make most days seem identical, but all in all, as long as you’re staying safe and keeping yourselves protected, that’s the main thing at the moment.
Weather seems to be less cold today, which is nice. It’s dark outside by the time it’s 5pm, sometimes earlier than that. Hopefully, we get a bit of sunshine soon.
I’ll try and write tomorrow’s post a bit earlier in the day, if possible.
As always, stay safe and take care of yourself and others.
I promised myself I would write each day on the blog, not because I have anything in particular to express, but with 2020 being such an inactive year on DAYDREAM MADNESS, I wanted 2021 to be different.
The comfort it brings, a very precious gift. As the nights get colder, my mind seems to be all over the place. It is nice to simply feel calm and at peace.
Being kind to yourself and taking life one step at a time is vital sometimes.
Inspiration can strike at any given time or place. Expected and unexpected.
Truth be told, I have often found myself waking up in the middle of a dream or short-lived nap, and suddenly, having this need to express what I have seen or felt during this particular state of mind.
My thoughts are complex, but not always.
Anyway, I’m hoping to sleep at some point in the night, so I wish you all the best, and sleep well (or good morning to the ones just waking up)
As I near my 25th birthday, there’s a lot of emotions running wild inside my brain right now. Let me tell you, adult life is not as incredible as young me used to think. If you’re in a rush to be of age, don’t fret about it all too much.
There’s a difference between wanting to be older, and being it. Sure, many great opportunities and memories will come your way. Well, all our experiences won’t be the same, or any less complex, but I suppose, that’s the beauty of not knowing what the universe has in store for all of us.
Whilst the year is still in bloom, I’ll most likely do my best to ensure I don’t get lost in the resolutions I will inevitably break, the weight that’ll shed as slow as a turtle makes their way, and the poetry book that won’t be finished until the end of the year or beyond.
I try to be patient with myself, and the journey that life has brought me on. Although, it never does get easier. Being able to express my thoughts again has definitely been the light at the end of this dark tunnel of worry.