Hours That Follow, A Poem Draft From Book #3

There’s something about the midnight hour, I can’t understand how it works, or if it calms my soul enough to heal my battle wounds.

Either way, it builds my core, to the point of nausea. You push yourself to the edge and somehow recover, just to fall back on your word again.

It’s a continuous cycle, the same routine of thought, as time leads you on a journey.

You can either hide in denial, or confront your darkest personality traits in depth.

To cut ties with fear of abandonment, a need for approval; Am I losing touch with reality or am I too aware of my own weaknesses and destructive mindset?

It takes a lot to admit defeat, and admit that you’re a broken individual.

So for the time being, love your fellow entities that surround the halls of your mind. For the present hour, cherish the hours that follow.

Be fearless, love the obstacles that test you. Kill the fear that haunts your path.

Free the mind, cure the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

Writing Session #23

Writing in the darkness of a room has always been my scenery of choice. The patience of thought, gradually expressed. Peace is the word. I am at peace with myself. Solitude does help you sustain it. That echo or a whisper, now simply a memory engraved in the mind.

Commentary Of A Writing Enthusiast

Talking to yourself is somewhat therapeutic for the soul.

Even in the darkest of times, you’ll always have yourself.

Often enough, I am my own commentary genius. Well, in my mind.

People can define it as they choose, but nothing keeps me more down-to-earth than a few wise words from yours truly.

In the end, you know yourself best. Or perhaps, as close to it as can be. That’s just my personal opinion.

Have a wonderful night, take care of you.

What is the best advice you’ve ever given to yourself?

September Blues Under The Stars

Flickering moments keep me awake at night. Not because it physically haunts me or takes control. I simply find it lingers, wherever and however it pleases.

Just because things are over to everyone else, doesn’t mean I forget as quickly.

My heart keeps certain people there for longer than the mind perhaps want to admit.

I’m not just a hopeless romantic and an awkward, introverted soul. I am also easily attached. Over the years, it’s become easier to admit and cover up.

People often remind me of what I’ve known for the longest duration ever.

Memories will always matter, and so will the people who inspired them, created them with me.

I might have been foolish with my words, perhaps reckless with all other aspects of life, but in my heart, I’ve always cared deeply.

How Does One Truly Let Go?

The intuitive aspect of unrequited love is clear as day, but the urge to hear from you seems to be clouding my ability to focus. I think I’m more scared of the reaction than I am of anything else.

 

 

Although, I must admit, being here has brought a lot of memories back, like I kind of knew in my heart that it would. Not completely tragic, but it does make me realize what I lost.

 

 

Not sure why it’s so emotive all of a sudden. And I usually keep my thoughts to myself, which is the kind of person I’ve always been, yet tonight it’s been on my mind so much, the need to write was heavier than usual. Excuse the perhaps repetitive nature of my blogging as of recently.

 

 

Next week, I’m sure I’ll be back to my usual self. But until then, I’ll just keep writing until it’s all out of my system for the time being. If only you could turn back the clock and alter the mistakes you made.

Losing You Was My Mistake, An Open Letter To An Old Love

After years of wishing to be present at this place, I’m finally here, in what seemed like the longest mission.

But the sad part is, you’re not part of the equation. You’d probably freak out if you knew, or perhaps that’s just me worrying about your reaction.

Being here is odd, wonderful yet strange. We haven’t spoken in over a year, calling you would probably be a bad idea, so I’m pushing my feelings aside and spilling my emotions here instead.

To be honest or just keep thoughts closed, the question spinning inside my mind.

I want to say what I feel, but at the same time, talking on impulse is never a good scenario when your emotions are on full speed.

People always did say that I was a little too vocal about this dear heart of mine, and without too much thought, ended up alienating myself from the ones I cared about the most.

Ultimately, the person on the wrong side of things was me, despite my denials and trials.

Because of my personal insecurities and stupid ways, I lost an important person in my life, someone who stood by me during the hardest moments, not because I deserved it, but because they cared unconditionally.

That’s what I regret the most, losing you.

And it’s not that I desire things to be back to how they were, or how they should have been, but I cannot deny the fact that I miss the friend I knew and loved, and still do.

PS: You’re a bright star in a dim world.

Puppet On A String

A life beautiful in so many different ways, but terribly repetitive.

Thoughts of you cloud my brain, I try and clear it all in one go, but my heart says “no”.

As much as we like to think that we control our own mind, it’s really it that controls us.

Whether we can or whether we shall is a complete different story.

Our mind is usually quite good at picking up signs, reading body language and our gut instinct never lies.

But we all, at times, have our moments of surrender.

Guilty as hell after. But you can’t regret what you wanted in the first place.

Nostalgic Tendencies

That’s what I don’t like about my mind.

Certain things seem to play on repeat like a record.

You could tell me goodbye and it wouldn’t go through until the year after.

Denial sinks in faster than the speed of light, just when you least want it to affect you.

Let’s hope it doesn’t last forever. But again, all things emotive have an expiration date (I hope).

The Midnight Owl

Writing at night has been my thing for such a long time, wonder why I never created a blog specifically for my late night writes. Hey, why not?

Next year, I want a lot of things to be different in my life. Not sure what the future holds, but the only way is forward or no direction at all.

I often sit here, staring blankly at the walls. The night is my shelter and my security. It assures the soul, heart.

Life is hard when certain people are nowhere to be seen, whereas other people are all the places you don’t want them to be.

If only life was as easy as the adults told us kids about, when we were young and free.

No worries, no stress, no money problems and no fear in general, apart from the occasional bruise or falling over a toy.

A simpler time. One that we long for, once doors seem to close and opportunities run out.

It kind of feels like our luck is fading with each year that goes by.

Cherish people, keep memories alive and remember to love. The story is ours to tell.