Scared To Fail

We all have our fears, and those moments of being scared to fail. Whether it’s work related, academically or any other challenge we face as life progresses on.

Truth be told, people achieve things at different stages of life, and that’s okay. We don’t all have it figured out at 18, 25, or even in our 30’s.

In the society we currently find ourselves a part of, we’ve been conditioned to believe that success is measured in the superficial, idealistic and materialistic.

Yes, some might be more knowledgeable, confident and perhaps better equipped than others. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s contribution as a whole is not as important.

The idea that we’re only worthy of a decent life if we work more hours than our mind can handle, and we look a certain way, act a certain way. Keeping up appearances might be sustainable in the short-term, but the facade of it all will come crashing down, eventually.

Don’t even get me started on how much I can’t stand the hypocrisy of equality and the lack of it in society. We have a lot of laws in place about treating people fairly, but so much of it is just empty words at this point.

Nothing is ever what it appears to be, I know that much.

Different rules apply for different people, which has been in plain sight for many years. We have a long way to go until we achieve any kind of fairness in the world. There’s a lot to work on, and only time will tell how that goes.

When some people say “reality is stranger than fiction”, it’s safe to say, you’re right. If the world needs more of anything, I can think of quite a few things.

The world needs more compassion, fairness, love, empathy, kindness.

I just hope humanity changes for the better.

Mila. Xo

Peace Of Mind: Grief And Time

Today is a bittersweet day to write anything, let alone process the emotions that are running through my head at the moment. But, since it is the third anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, I wanted to write something – anything, really.

Just recently, it was also my blog’s 4th year of being active (May 13th), and my domain name was 2 years old on the date also. And then, my second poetry book, A Cryptic Human Entity, that was self-published on May 16th of 2018, which makes it a year and three days old now.

It’s taken me a long time to find the time to sit down and write like I used to.

These past few months have definitely taken a toll on me, and the ones around me. It has been one obstacle after the other. For someone who doesn’t like even the slightest amount of confrontation, this was more troubling than anything else.

A lot has been achieved, however. Things people never thought was possible of me. And I will continue to fight on and move forward.

I truly want to thank the people in my life as of late, for giving me the strength and courage to stare fear in the face and deal with it, firsthand.

Truth be told, I have dealt with my fair share of struggles, and to this day, I still do. We all have our individual issues in life, and that’s reality.

Soon enough, I hope to be writing more consistently and frequently, but for the time being, it’s just not possible.

This blog is my sanctuary, a place I find peace and inspiration. With the help of faith and love, I am sure that things will improve, and I will be able to articulate what my heart is going through, at a later date.

And also, my birthday is later this month, which I look forward to, oddly enough.

I just wish my grandmother was here to see my progress. There’s not a day where I don’t miss her presence. She was one of the most inspiring women I have ever had the chance to know. My heart is still in disbelief over the loss, as if a piece of me was lost on the day she passed on.

But, I know in my heart, that her soul lives on, and her legacy will never be forgotten. She’ll always be with me, and I just hope that I can make her proud from above.

Death might seem like a morbid subject to some, but it is an inevitable fate, that we all will encounter at some point in life, we just don’t know when that will be.

So, live your lives to the fullest. Cherish the people who love you and the ones who don’t love you, embrace them too. Just stay true to yourself and remember, that with each door that closes, another one opens.

Peace and Love,

Mila.

Minutes To Spare

Writing for a week straight has really inspired me. I’ve never felt so good about it.

I don’t know where I’d be without my blog. This is my sanctuary, a place of freedom and space.

Living a complex life, it makes you understand the gift of simple things.

Whether it’s writing a poem, or just practicing mindfulness and focusing on your health.

It is so important to acknowledge your struggles, so that you can make room for better things to come.

We have our bad days and our good days. There will be tears, and laughter until our stomach is in knots.

Grateful for family, true friends and the guardian angels I have, watching over me and the ones I love and cherish the most.

Blessed in many ways.

breaking points

okdIt starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.

What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.

I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?

 

open letter to my 18 year old self

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Dear you,

It’s been a crazy time in life but it’s getting better each day, the chaos is still present but I know obstacles are there to help me face the fears I need to the most. I wish you were as confident as you are today, if only I knew the blossoming process of the heart would begin just after that specific moment in time. There’s been love, there’s been heartbreak, and most recently; the loss of the grandmother who shaped your heart into the one it is today. She’s at peace and no longer in pain and that’s what you should always remind yourself of in times of grief and sadness. It will hurt and the pain never truly goes away, but as you appreciate each day and each breath, you’ll be making her so proud way up from above.

Creativity wise, keep writing, never lose sight of your dreams and keep going until you reach that damn goal of yours. Poetry is not about what it brings you, but more about the joy it brings to write your heart out, regardless if you’re rambling or simply expressing.

Love on the other hand, is something you shouldn’t focus on too much right now. Focus on your own wellbeing before walking into the path of companionship. Appreciate the friends that have been there from day one and remember that life goes on no matter if someone leaves you or you leave them. I know you’re not in the right state of heart to love again, neither should you force yourself to be with someone for the sake of being in the company of anyone. Love at the right time, love the person who truly deserves you and let go of the ones who do not deserve your time and affection, because they don’t appreciate it, rather less than you originally had thought. Focus on you and you’ll be in a much happier place of mind because of it.

I thought writing this letter would be a good idea because I wish you knew how great life is and how good it can be, in the company of the right people and the family that loves you.

Life is a blossoming flower, for it to grow, you need to nurture the mind, feed the soul a lot of love and care, take care of the heart that beats for you and always appreciate each moment of life because you never know when it will end.

a cup full of love

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In times of need, we find ourselves bottling up the emotions that keep us awake at night, and putting on a smile for the world to see and for us to believe that it is a genuine one.

Thankfully, there are places on the internet where venting about life is possible.

7 Cups Of Tea, also known as 7cups, is one of those. I was glad to know that I wasn’t alone.
I’ve been a listener on there for over a year now, and it’s rewarding to make a difference in someone’s life, whether it’d be little or huge. I take pride in helping others.

Compassion and support is something we all long for, it is a necessity as a human being
which makes it even more important that 7cups exists for people in need of this.

My fellow listeners on there are always wonderful, I feel at ease talking to them because it feels like someone actually genuinely cares and wants to listen to what I need to get off my chest, emotionally. It’s been a pleasure to get to know most of them, the group chats are always helpful, and there are different ones for everyone to choose from.

I can’t put it into words how humbled I am to be a listener on this incredible website.
Although it’s not the only place you can vent, it’s definitely one I recommend to anyone!

It deserves more recognition for what it does, and the amount of people it helps every single day, I can’t express how much it has saved my sanity when I felt like life was becoming too much. And I was scared at first to open up, because my anxiety makes me quite anxious about talking to new people, but I felt at peace almost immediately.

The fear of being judged is high, but with places like these, you don’t have to be.
It’s completely anonymous so you never have to be afraid to really be honest.

It’s something I think is worthy of many articles, mostly because so many suffer in silence and it’s not okay. We all deserve support, we’re people with real feelings and we want to feel like our feelings are valid and understood. So, if you’re ever in need of someone to speak with, don’t hesitate to check it out.

Link is below! 🙂

http://7cups.com

the art of mind

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I never thought my life would be so influenced by the internet, and it feels surreal talking about it, because I don’t consider myself an established blogger/writer as of yet. And to whoever does follow my blog, thank you for motivating me to continue. They say writing is like putting a flower garden together, you help it all grow into something beautiful and worthwhile. I would add a “read more” link but it’s nice to express simply because I enjoy it. Although, a bit of traffic is never a bad thing! Unless you’re a driver, (oops sorry). On another note, I really would love to hear what YOU think. Like for example; what makes a writer great? if anything, what does a good blog contain? I’m hoping to hear opinions, because yours will mean a lot. As a writer, I want to progress, I want to be relatable and be able to reach people in the sort of depth that really connects us. Do I want to be a full-time writer? Of course I do. Will I achieve that? I don’t know yet. Regardless of what life throws my way, I will always write for the sake of creativity and self-expression. It’s amazing how simple words can unite and guide us. I’m not sure where to end this, but perhaps it is eternal, metaphorically speaking.

-mc.

compassion starts with you

 

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Still hasn’t sunk in that it’s March already, time slips away the more I realize it.Continue reading “compassion starts with you”