Felt more calm recently and I appreciate that a lot, to be honest.
I don’t necessarily handle stress all too well, and it shows, despite how much I try and hide it behind a smile or laugh. These days, the amount of gratitude I have in my heart for each day now is crazy. But, of course, in a good way.
Waking up each day, with clarity and peace of mind, that’s something to feel good about. Positivity despite the chaos life might bring, and the obstacles we have to overcome to see the beacon of hope.
Life is not meant to be easy, I know that. I suppose, it’s human of me to sometimes wish it was.
All in all, there’s a lot of blessings to be thankful for, and even difficult moments, the ones that made me a stronger, wiser, better version of me.
Here I am, trying to finish my bottles of water needed, in order to complete my intake goal. Also recently started intermittent fasting, so the hydration is very important during these vital hours.
Working on my health has been a priority, and it will continue to be on the agenda as the year goes on, and I become fitter and healthier, not to mention, more confident with my body.
Insecurities suck, but I’m trying to work on those things gradually, understand what has to be addressed and improved. It’s not just the physical aspect, but the psychological as well. It’ll take patience with myself, something I often don’t have.
A sensitive topic for many, I’m sure. To be clear, I’m simply expressing my own experiences with it, but the subject can be complicated for many different reasons. The stigma, the shaming, the unrealistic standards we deal with on a regular basis. It can be a lot for a person.
As we evolve and grow, become wiser and stronger, I am certain that these things will be more understood as time goes on. Hold on to that hope.
This week has been challenging and humbling, to say the least.
If there’s anything I take away from this, it’s that when life gives you lemons, either make lemonade or remain bitter. It can be tough seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, when it seems like things are heading towards one direction, and not the one you were hoping for.
Grateful in this moment for family, friends, and the ability to see beyond the lines, and also read between them when necessary too.
Commencing work on my third poetry book project has been harder than anticipated.
Originally, it was meant to have a 2019 release date, but I definitely didn’t want to rush any creative work of mine that has a meaningful message.
And it will also help me document a lot of difficult emotions that I have the want to express, and thoughts I’ve kept away in the archive of my mind.
The older I get, the more I miss the consistency of my writing over the years.
Also, focusing on mindfulness and self-care is on my list. I’ll explain more over the weekend.
Until then, I wish you all a wonderful evening.
I always find myself writing late at night. There’s something about the peace and solitude that comes with it.
To be honest, writing consistently again has been a joy. I certainly do hope that it continues.
For some reason, it’s easier to get all your thoughts down in the hours where you should be getting sleep.
I’m not necessarily the kind to have insomnia, but at certain moments, the aftermath of it all does take a toll. At other times, I honestly have never felt better in my entire life.
The complexity of my mind is something I have come to embrace and cherish. As the years have gone by, and I’ve matured and seen things in a different light, from a new perspective, it has taught me a lot about my surroundings, and about my own individual self.
It’s kind of true, hardships do make you feel stronger in the long run. Life can be a challenge, and if anything, I’m ready for it now.
The only way to conquer your fears is to face them. I’m determined to face all of mine, at a steady pace. And I’ll do so, with my faith and clarity in hand.
For anyone who’s up late, I’m with you on that one.
Love, Mila. Xo
I promised myself that I would update this blog every day in 2020, and I am determined to see it through.
Every thought has a meaning of some kind, I suppose. Always did have a fascination for the mind, and how it works.
For now, I’ll drift off to sleep with dreams in mind. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something.
Take care, have a beautiful evening.
Love, Mila. Xo
Another decade has begun, and I am so ready to make it my own. The last ten years were definitely a challenge at times, sometimes a bitter to swallow.
All in all, I’m still grateful for the experience, as difficult as it was to endure.
You learn so much about yourself in times of predicament, the obstacles seemed like they would never stop blocking my path.
I honestly felt like I lost myself in the abyss of self-doubt. There were months where I couldn’t think, or even write. For the last half of 2019, I neglected my blog as a result.
Not being able to express what I was going through, it was agony for a writer like me. All I wanted to do was sit down and spill my thoughts, so I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed about all the things, that were happening around me.
It felt like my head could explode, that’s how heavy it was, to bear all this on these shoulders of mine.
This next decade, I want to do things a lot differently. For starters, starting work on my next project is on my list.
Resolutions and such, I’ll talk about on my next blog post tomorrow. For now, I just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year.
I hope 2020 is the start of something beautiful and bright.
Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.
Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.
Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.
For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.
Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.
In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.
Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.
I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.
No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.
There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.
Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.
Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.
More so than ever, I have found myself on this journey of acceptance and discovery.
I had to learn how to let go, understand that there are many things I cannot change, no matter how much it pains me, to know this very crucial information.
Above all, it opened my eyes to clarity, inspiration and commitment. Not only to myself, but the ones who need me.
A wonderful day spent, indeed.
I wrapped my thoughts in denial, thinking it would change the outcome.
To bite your tongue and accept the reality of things, I’ve always taken for granted.
Clarity in front of you, to seek your trust and guide you towards hope.