Grief Is Complicated

Note: Just so you know, this post is about grief and the complex nature of dealing with loss, I’ve tried to articulate my thoughts in a way that is not upsetting. I could have written more, but perhaps for another day instead.


Reading about heavy subjects definitely makes you sit down and think, noting all the things you should be grateful for. It’s so incredibly sad when you hear about people losing their battle with an illness, that has affected them for many years.

Can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like, seeing a loved one suffer in such a way. Well, in one way, I do feel their pain. Having witnessed the inevitable decline of a beloved relative, it breaks my heart when others have to go through the same.

Grief is complicated, the emptiness it leaves you with. I know passing on to the other side is something that will happen to all of us as life goes forward, but it’s still never easy to fully accept or understand.

When I lost my wonderful grandmother in May 2016, it was a shock to the system. I knew her time on Earth was slowly coming to an end, but I had no idea how that would affect me, how I’d feel or cope.

All I know is, there’s a guardian angel watching over me now.


Mila. Xo

High Expectations And Validation From Within

This has been a constant note to self since 2020 began, almost two weeks ago. You don’t need validation from others to be happy.

It doesn’t mean you’re not going to try and get it from other people, or find peace of mind in it. I often compare it to an abyss, the anxieties and self-doubt that comes from the need of validation is not at all helpful.

So many times, I have felt in need of it, and I still don’t understand why, and sure, there are people who have different qualities and different skills, comparing myself to them will only hold me back from achieving what I know in my heart, that I am capable of. It is easier said than done, but with enough patience and faith, anything is possible. And it will happen, when it is meant to.

Until then, I’ll just have to be patient and kind to myself.