Hello again! It’s been a while. Sorry for my lack of activity in the past week.
I really wanted to update my blog sooner, but recently, my poor health and Continue reading
aura
Commentary Of A Writing Enthusiast
Talking to yourself is somewhat therapeutic for the soul.
Even in the darkest of times, you’ll always have yourself.
Often enough, I am my own commentary genius. Well, in my mind.
People can define it as they choose, but nothing keeps me more down-to-earth than a few wise words from yours truly.
In the end, you know yourself best. Or perhaps, as close to it as can be. That’s just my personal opinion.
Have a wonderful night, take care of you.
What is the best advice you’ve ever given to yourself?
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Long Weekend, Happy Writer
Writing a blog post from my smartphone is weird. I’m so used to typing away on the notebook, but my dearest writing companion is awaiting a new battery and my new AC adapter arrived earlier so that’s definitely a start. I wanted to update my blog sooner but never got the chance. And Monday is a bank holiday, my alarms will be switched off, what a great feeling. Hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. I have so much to be grateful for, without a doubt. Thank goodness for wonderful friends, family & blogging! Xo
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a poem for the soul
In life, it feels like the superficial reality of it poisons our system
I never understood what seemed wonderful about lying to yourself.
I never understood what seemed wonderful about lying to yourself.
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cold nights and blog posts
So, it’s finally the end of another stressful, hectic week. Not so much in the amount of stuff that has been happening, but in general, I’ve felt quite mixed in terms of emotions
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breaking points
It starts with a simple trigger, and it ends with an emotional cry of defeat. A passive-aggressive mechanism mastered from the years and pieces of you broken off like you’re society’s doll, robotic to emotion and numb from the chemical imbalance of one’s mind.
What you saw in movies, it became your illusion, the safety blanket you never had as a child, but eventually, the rose-colored lens faded, and you saw the world in all the disgusting hues of reality. Blue became associated with sadness & your lover’s eyes, red became nothing but a reminder of the blood you lost, and the love that decayed along with it.
I wish life was like it seemed when childhood nightmares were only the majority of life’s problems, you could breathe oxygen without being constantly clouded by the loss of your beloved, oh how tragic it felt at the time, but as time goes, you start to feel the hatred building like the blocks you had as a kid, ain’t it funny how tables can twist and turn?
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triple threat
Been so inspired today, it got me thinking about book ideas & what I want it all to be like.
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the day after
found myself writing a lot now, I don’t know if it’s out of guilt for abandoning my blog or if it’s because I have all these emotions I need to get out of my system in a decent expressive way.
I find myself rambling on, not caring if anyone gives a damn because the only opinion that should matter is my own, but at the same time, validation of my own words will always weigh heavy on my mind regardless.
if only I could live without a care in the world. there’s a lot of me I don’t show the people I love, the darker, the twisted parts of my personality that I simply hide between poetry and numbness.
I know it’ll never amount to complete and utter success, and that clichéd poets rarely find their mark on people’s lives, but my heart wants none but soul and heartfelt connection.
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open letter to my 18 year old self
Dear you,
It’s been a crazy time in life but it’s getting better each day, the chaos is still present but I know obstacles are there to help me face the fears I need to the most. I wish you were as confident as you are today, if only I knew the blossoming process of the heart would begin just after that specific moment in time. There’s been love, there’s been heartbreak, and most recently; the loss of the grandmother who shaped your heart into the one it is today. She’s at peace and no longer in pain and that’s what you should always remind yourself of in times of grief and sadness. It will hurt and the pain never truly goes away, but as you appreciate each day and each breath, you’ll be making her so proud way up from above.
Creativity wise, keep writing, never lose sight of your dreams and keep going until you reach that damn goal of yours. Poetry is not about what it brings you, but more about the joy it brings to write your heart out, regardless if you’re rambling or simply expressing.
Love on the other hand, is something you shouldn’t focus on too much right now. Focus on your own wellbeing before walking into the path of companionship. Appreciate the friends that have been there from day one and remember that life goes on no matter if someone leaves you or you leave them. I know you’re not in the right state of heart to love again, neither should you force yourself to be with someone for the sake of being in the company of anyone. Love at the right time, love the person who truly deserves you and let go of the ones who do not deserve your time and affection, because they don’t appreciate it, rather less than you originally had thought. Focus on you and you’ll be in a much happier place of mind because of it.
I thought writing this letter would be a good idea because I wish you knew how great life is and how good it can be, in the company of the right people and the family that loves you.
Life is a blossoming flower, for it to grow, you need to nurture the mind, feed the soul a lot of love and care, take care of the heart that beats for you and always appreciate each moment of life because you never know when it will end.
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twenty
My last day of being 20, nearly heading off to 21. I find it bittersweet because my late grandfather’s birthday should have been today, and it’s officially a week since my grandmother passed away. I find time is never truly appreciated until it’s nearly gone
and since I lost her, time is something I pay attention to more than ever before, honestly.
It’s crazy how a loss such as this was a wake-up call for me and all of my family. I’ve been looking through childhood photos and I still can’t speak of her in past tense, it still hasn’t sunk in that I’ll never see her again. I guess sometimes we need a lot of rain to create a beautiful rainbow of hope. Sigh, nostalgia lane. Yeah, this isn’t exactly a great blog post but it’s something dear to my heart and I find myself forgetting that a lot of the time.
As of midnight, I’ll be taking a moment to remember my grandparents.
Sometimes, we all need that silence to clear our path and build upon life.
DAYDREAM MADNESS 
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