Late Bloomer’s Anthem: That Girl In The Corner

Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.

Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.

Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.

For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.

Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.

In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.

Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.

I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.

No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.

There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.

Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.

Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.

Benefit Of The Doubt

In all my years of trying to find the right words to say, it has never been so clear to me before.

This journey of mine was a test, it continues to be.

And there is no doubt in my mind that people will continue to analyze my quiet and reserved nature.

They’ll pick it apart, piece by piece. I definitely will be under a microscope.

However, there is a lot people will underestimate. My cautious sense of instinct, I observe you without even saying a word.

It takes a complex life to understand the complexity of others around you.

Sure, I don’t have a degree, but my knowledge of the ones around me is on point. You think I have no voice, think again.

Hours That Follow, A Poem Draft From Book #3

There’s something about the midnight hour, I can’t understand how it works, or if it calms my soul enough to heal my battle wounds.

Either way, it builds my core, to the point of nausea. You push yourself to the edge and somehow recover, just to fall back on your word again.

It’s a continuous cycle, the same routine of thought, as time leads you on a journey.

You can either hide in denial, or confront your darkest personality traits in depth.

To cut ties with fear of abandonment, a need for approval; Am I losing touch with reality or am I too aware of my own weaknesses and destructive mindset?

It takes a lot to admit defeat, and admit that you’re a broken individual.

So for the time being, love your fellow entities that surround the halls of your mind. For the present hour, cherish the hours that follow.

Be fearless, love the obstacles that test you. Kill the fear that haunts your path.

Free the mind, cure the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

My Blog Is Three Years Old Soon?

Hi, hello. I always say I’m going to write a post and then I just never live up to my promises. Sorry about that. On another note, this blog is almost THREE years old.

Yes.

There is a lot of emotions attached, I must admit. Especially since, this is the longest
I have ever updated and kind of preserved a blog for. Plus, there’s a domain name on here, which is nearly a year old, bought on this blog’s second anniversary date.

I make it sound like it’s my soulmate or something, but this blog has been a vital part of my life in recent years. Not only has it been an emotive outlet in times of need, it has also helped me be more confident in sharing certain things about myself, my writing, life in general.

And it wasn’t always straightforward, in the beginning. When this was first created in May 2015, it had a bunch of theme changes, layout/font experimentation, blog title- changes, until DAYDREAM MADNESS was chosen and I fell in love with it. Basically.

It might actually be the title of my third book of poetry, when I eventually publish and release “A Cryptic Human Entity”, for all the world to see for themselves. But, I don’t know, I like to take things one day at a time.

Although, it is nice to plan out in your head, all of these exciting ideas.

Creativity is such a wonderful thing most times, depending on your use of it.

Anyway, that’s enough writing for now. I’ll maybe write a shorter post later today, or tomorrow. It all depends if I’m not in pain because of this tooth issue I’ve been having recently.

 

Mila xo

A Journal For A Journey

There’s a few things I changed my mind on. The first is, the publication date/year of my book.

At first, it felt perfect to have it ready before Christmas, but then, after enough consideration, I decided to ultimately not rush anything and take my time with it all. It’s my most personal project to date, emotively.

So why the need to finish it sooner? I suppose the lack of patience. I mean, there are thousands of pieces written, but this book will be all new material, so that’s going to be exciting.

To compile a set of newly felt and expressed thoughts and emotions, it’s going to be a lot nicer to showcase, rather than dwelling on the previous ghosts in my heart, although, there’s always a special place in my heart for them, always will be.

Certain poetic favorites of mine might still make an appearance, but there’s a chance I’ll shorten them or simply create a new version etc. Not because I don’t like them, but because, when I wrote them, I guess I was quite sad, or mad, perhaps a little too attached to the idea of the person. But that’s not always a bad thing, to be honest. Sometimes we all need an outlet of some sort.

It’s all about letting yourself be open about taboo subjects, intense emotions, cryptic and flawed intentions. Bought myself a couple of new journals to write poetry and other stuff in. Feels like I’m going back to basics in terms of writing. Where not every piece was typed up on a computer. You could simply note down what it was that made you feel alive, or what made you feel sad. A shoulder to cry on, when opening up to a person simply wasn’t an option.

Writing is such an important part of my life now. Couldn’t really see myself without this blog, or any of the other writing sites I have found myself enjoying over the years. I kind of miss anonymously writing about certain topics, but it’s nice to feel comfortable for the first time in my life. I’m sure most people can understand that aspect of this. Well, I hope.

Self-expression is sometimes more than just a hobby. For me, it’s a chance to show people what I am capable of creating, and to also challenge myself. To think outside the box, take chances, take a few risks now and then. What might seem terrible to you could be loved by the next person. It’s all about not letting critics and your own self-critical thoughts take over. Embrace your flaws, know that you can’t produce perfection, but you can keep going until you feel satisfied. Practice and patience are key. As well as self-encouragement, positive thinking. Motivation and inspiration is great for keeping you on track too.

Don’t get lost in the madness of self-loathing. Take care of yourself. Nurture your soul/art. When there’s heartache, write it out. Do you feel lonely? Pick up a pen and let your heart speak. If someone makes your day, or makes you feel happy, write it down, share it with a friend. After all, we only have one life. Why not live in the moment?

Writing Session #30

Tomorrow’s night going to be fun. Not as bold or exciting for me personally, but for many others, I am sure. Regardless of what celebration, I’m content with my books and poetry. Writing for my second book too, and I need all the inspiration I can get when it comes to it. A title has been set, which I’ll be announcing next month, as well as the explanation behind what it represents as a whole. There’s a cover design this time, which a dear friend is going to help me with. I swear, I have the best people in my life right now.

So, all credit due goes to her, and the other muses that have inspired me in these last few years (or even longer than that). Some friendships get stronger and better with time. I’m grateful for the ones who have remained true to our bond, and even for the ones who ultimately let go. I don’t necessarily blame them. We sometimes drift apart, it’s human nature, a natural part of life. What might have worked before just didn’t work now and that’s okay.

For this post, I wanted to write a more lengthy piece. But, that’s the great thing about personal blogs. We speak and talk about whatever, and whenever we feel the need to. I try and not be unrealistic in terms of my blog. This is my sanctuary, my happy place and if at least one person likes what I have to say, awesome. Don’t let numbers and statistics ruin you too much.

Halloween is tomorrow, um. Personally, I’ll just be at home, there’s a chance I’ll open the bottle of wine that’s been in my bedroom for what feels like forever. Not necessarily much of a drinker, neither do I have time or a taste for it.  The occasional drink or two is enough for me. Can’t say the same about my coffee habit. A little hypocritical, but, I’m a complex human, don’t judge me! Haha. Well, until next time, which is tomorrow. My last Writing Session will be posted quite early. If anyone has any ideas on what I should do next, feel free to send a message or a comment on here. I’d like to hear from you!

Writing Session #28

Halloween is in three days! I’m usually not excited, but I like the idea of wearing black and having quality time with family. Who doesn’t, really. To think that November is around the corner not only excites me but scares me also. It’s like, where has time gone?

Each day is never short of an adventure or an obstacle to face in person. How we all go about living our lives and discovering different parts of us is and always will be either unpredictable, or the opposite. It all varies, depending on who we are as individuals.

Well…that’s me signing off for today. I’ll be sure to write another post tomorrow and talk a little more. But until then, I wish you a beautiful night and happiness all around you.

Writing Session #24

As my daily Writing Sessions will soon come to an end, I’m thinking of new ways to keep this blog updated with content. Whether it’s written, photographic or simply expressive, it’s always good to keep the motivation going. And, I enjoy writing so win-win.

It’s a sanctuary for thoughts, as well as food for thought, looking back on certain pieces can definitely open your eyes. Our emotions, like any, are either supressed or expressed.

Most of us conceal our true feelings, others have the courage to speak out. Which, in general, is incredibly inspiring for the less noticeable ones. It all goes to show the power in our words. How they shape and change our society.

 

My favorite motto right now is: “Don’t live in silence for all of eternity. Speak up.”

Writing Session #23

Writing in the darkness of a room has always been my scenery of choice. The patience of thought, gradually expressed. Peace is the word. I am at peace with myself. Solitude does help you sustain it. That echo or a whisper, now simply a memory engraved in the mind.

Writing Session #22

Well, today has certainly been full of surprises and happy moments. I’m surrounded by a loving family, supportive friends, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted, ever.

In the past, things weren’t always easy, but as time goes along, you definitely see it from other people’s perspective. Sometimes, it’s good. Sometimes, it’s not so great. But, all in all, life is all about change, embracing people’s quirks, flaws, opinions and working together to make a difference, no matter how small.

Another thing that has taught me a new outlook in general, is my determination to fight the anxiety that once left me unable to do anything outside of my comfort zone. It just goes to show that you can do it. You will be happy. You will be free of your fears at some point.

Facing your fears in the face is tough. Whoever said it was easy, clearly did not go through it like the others. Patience is a virtue. Don’t stress yourself. What might be easy for some is even harder for the majority. Heal with time, not worrying about when or if you succeed.

We are our own enemy when it comes to critique. We analyze our own choices and decisions more than any other person ever will, and it’s a complex situation to find yourself in.

As much as society expects us to follow the routine of common traits and paths, making sure that you’re happy is key. Well, bad days and horrible moments aside, happiness is not a long-term feeling. With each day that passes, the emotion of the day can be unpredictable, hard to recognize. Don’t worry about that – we are human beings, right?