Ignited Feelings Of Worry

When it comes to fear, or the stresses of certain situations, I often try to analyze and accept what I’m feeling at that particular moment.

Sometimes, it’s not always so easy.

My mind is slightly complex, the same yet different to everyone else’s.

I used to feel shame at getting overwhelmed over some things, it felt like I was the only one at times. (bear in mind, I’ve come a long way and it’s not as bad as it used to be)

To be honest, talking about it shouldn’t have to feel awkward. Everyone has their own struggles and worries, some are just more manageable than others.

And that’s okay, something I often tell myself in notes, diary entries etc.

Life has been a strange and complicated journey, but I’m grateful and blessed in many ways, and I’ve got a good support system.

I’m writing this currently on my phone because I have no energy to use my laptop. Got a few things to do tomorrow, nothing special.

Just hoping that it’ll be okay and I’ll have my peace of mind restored in no time.

This brings us to the end of another blog entry.

I’ll be back tomorrow to share yet another day of thoughts. This is truly a sanctuary for my mind.

God bless you all, and stay safe.

Mila. Xo

Life Lesson: Bittersweet Outcomes



As much as I am grateful for life as it is today, I can’t help but wonder about what could have been in another outcome of events. I know, it’s kind of ridiculous at this point.

But sometimes, your mind just wants to know.

When you have to discuss certain parts of your life, I suppose the curious side of you emerges.

I’ve learned a lot about my past over the last few years or so. Suppressing your feelings about it is a temporary solution. Such a complex journey, yet I do believe that I have found closure as a result.

We can’t change our pasts, unfortunately. As tough as that is for someone like me in moments like this, all I can do is acknowledge it, process it to the best of my ability and accept it.

That’s easier said than done, ultimately.

As I get older, I do hope that things start to make a little more sense.

Well, maybe I’ll write a book about it, or perhaps a novel of some kind. That’s something I hope to do in my later years. We’ll see if it happens.


Stay safe, and I hope you all have a wonderful evening.

Reflection Hour: Tiny Steps For Change



I promised myself I would write each day on the blog, not because I have anything in particular to express, but with 2020 being such an inactive year on DAYDREAM MADNESS, I wanted 2021 to be different.

The comfort it brings, a very precious gift. As the nights get colder, my mind seems to be all over the place. It is nice to simply feel calm and at peace.

Being kind to yourself and taking life one step at a time is vital sometimes.


Mila. Xo

High Expectations And Validation From Within

This has been a constant note to self since 2020 began, almost two weeks ago. You don’t need validation from others to be happy.

It doesn’t mean you’re not going to try and get it from other people, or find peace of mind in it. I often compare it to an abyss, the anxieties and self-doubt that comes from the need of validation is not at all helpful.

So many times, I have felt in need of it, and I still don’t understand why, and sure, there are people who have different qualities and different skills, comparing myself to them will only hold me back from achieving what I know in my heart, that I am capable of. It is easier said than done, but with enough patience and faith, anything is possible. And it will happen, when it is meant to.

Until then, I’ll just have to be patient and kind to myself.

The Human Experience

My blog was created almost five years ago, it’s amazing how it has shaped my life in many ways. I used to write all the time, staying awake late thinking about new theme layouts and blog post ideas. Those were the days of limitless creativity.

If anything, I’d love to go back to that. I also hope it will guide me through the writing process for my next poetry book. It might take months, or even years to finish my current project, but in the meantime, just updating my blog consistently and breaking free of the recurring periods of writer’s block.

All you can do is encourage, yet allow that creative mind to express and create at its own pace. I am definitely an impatient person, depending on the situation, of course.

It’s only the beginning, and I have so much left to give. I won’t give up.

Cluttered Set Of Emotions

If hoarding emotions and thoughts was a skill, I’d be a professional at this point in time. Hoping it will become easier as months goes by, and all of that.

To be honest, my writing has definitely impacted somewhat. You analyze yourself and others too much, as well as your surroundings and patterns.

Hard to believe we’re almost two weeks into the New Year, I’ve had a semi-productive timeline as of recent. It’ll pick up eventually, and so will the motivation and inspiration to do bigger and better things with my mind.

Reflection is good, to some extent. Just don’t overdo it, you’ll thank me later.

There is a lot I have to learn, and accept about myself. Bad habits, that one might need to take a second look at. A lot of books I want to read, places I want to visit and appreciate. Nostalgia seems to have hit me , ever so discreetly.

It’s also nearly four years without my grandmother, I am always in disbelief about this. Feels like yesterday when I held her hand, that last smile has replayed in my mind, more times than I can count. Her strength through it all has definitely played a major part. All I want to do is make my guardian angel proud.

Late Bloomer’s Anthem: That Girl In The Corner

Although I’ve been writing every day, updating the blog on a regular basis turned out to be less ideal. Told myself it’s okay to not write constantly.

Despite my brain working hard, and barely thinking straight, I’ve kept myself calm and collected.

Having such an anxious mind can be a challenge. People will look at you, and think you’re a mess for it. I’m personally tired of criticizing myself.

For a long time, I was treated horribly by many people. Telling people no made me feel guilt on the highest degree, taking the time to heal felt like too much to ask for.

Learning to accept yourself and embrace the person you are, that’s a long process in itself. In the end, you’ll be grateful for the tough journey.

In the last six months, I’ve discovered strength within, that I never knew I had.

Found out the real meaning behind life, what it means to be living.

I’m only now starting to experience life in all its glory. Better a late bloomer than none at all. Soon enough, I’ll become the version of me I was destined to be, all along.

No, it doesn’t make me any less or any more. If anything, what didn’t kill my hope, it only strengthens mine with time.

There are things I have yet to improve, and I’m fully aware as it is.

Being weak in the flesh is nothing new. We’re perfectly imperfect, and sometimes you just have to keep moving forward.

Hoping 2019 brings love, happiness and so much more, to each and every one of you.

Gratitude Hour

More so than ever, I have found myself on this journey of acceptance and discovery.

I had to learn how to let go, understand that there are many things I cannot change, no matter how much it pains me, to know this very crucial information.

Above all, it opened my eyes to clarity, inspiration and commitment. Not only to myself, but the ones who need me.

A wonderful day spent, indeed.

For Granted

I wrapped my thoughts in denial, thinking it would change the outcome.

To bite your tongue and accept the reality of things, I’ve always taken for granted.

Clarity in front of you, to seek your trust and guide you towards hope.

It Takes You Home

When I was little, I spent a lot of quality time with my grandmother.

She used to knit, whilst I cut up old pieces of clothing to sew together a little cotton bag for myself, or two.

Looking back on it now, it truly sinks in, the realization that you’re gone.

No longer do I see, the smile that lit up the room. Your loving words of encouragement as I began to blossom, like the butterflies in your garden.

Our moments, I cherish more than I ever knew my heart could. This is the reality of losing you.