One of the best things about celebrating birthdays as an adult is not presents, although any you receive are always appreciated – at least by most.
What I truly love the most is, the people you get to spend time with, the joy in the room. The last year or so has impacted a lot of people’s lives, mentally, emotionally and physically. And my heart goes out to all of those who have lost loved ones and continue to navigate life in these strange and difficult times.
So grateful for the birthday wishes yesterday, and any belated ones I might receive in the days to come.
Bank Holiday weekend is here and I hope you all have a wonderful Friday.
Another one of those nights where I seem to stay up writing in the last minute because not doing so would feel absurd.
Today’s blog entry might be a little short and more spontaneous, but I’m working on it as we speak.
Almost midnight, yet I’m finding it difficult to hibernate for the night. I’ll sleep soon, I promise.
The day has been relatively balanced, with hints of anxiety here and there, in which my inner response was: I had to simply concentrate on other things.
A clean slate for a new day, I tell myself.
My birthday is in two days, almost one if I think about it. It’s a strange feeling, getting older. You learn a lot, or at least in my own experiences.
The more my blog grows and blossoms, I can’t help but feel immense gratitude for the ones who have supported me along the way. It shows me that I’m doing something right, despite how small the achievement might look like currently.
So thank you, for being such a light in my life. And as always, have a beautiful day, or night, depending on where you are in the world.
When things don’t quite go to plan, your stress levels can go through the roof if you’re not careful. At least, that’s how it felt for me today.
Monday felt particularly blue, so I definitely made an effort to be kind to myself. It can be easy to get overwhelmed by our thoughts in the moment, experienced that one too many times in my life.
I actually found myself buying a self-help audiobook out of curiosity about how to manage emotions in times of feeling this way. That was certainly helpful, hearing other people’s experiences and what helps them balance it all out.
Easier said than done, as I’m sure a lot of people will say about this too.
If the past year has taught me anything, it’s that looking after yourself and your mental health is so important. When you nurture your mind, your body and your soul, everything else will fall into place, eventually.
In the last three years, I’ve had so much clarity about many things.
When you see things in a different light, from a perspective you never considered before, it can change you somewhat. It doesn’t happen overnight, but the little details make a big difference.
Hasn’t been an easy journey to take, yet I feel life has only just begun for me. Learning to set boundaries, being kinder to yourself and making decisions based on the data your mind has been collecting all this time. That’s what I want to continue with.
I used to worry so much about people’s opinion of me, tried to be the person they wanted me to be, and ultimately found myself lost in the depths of my insecurities.
Acceptance took a long time, plus you lose a lot of people in the process.
Despite the harsh reality of it all, you just have to face it. Gradually or all at once. It’s uncomfortable, scary, hard to tell which way it’s going to turn out.
We also need more kindness in the world, especially with all the hatred and chaos. Empathy is important, although it depends on the situation and the person, I know.
It all varies, that’s the very obvious thing in all of this. I can’t always find the right words for how I feel, which is okay. We discover new things every day, whether it’s about ourselves or others.
Honestly, I’m still learning and discovering. Where life will take me, and the path I’ll be on the next second, who knows. I don’t even think I’d want to know all the outcomes.
All I know is, I want to be kind, empathetic and I want my self-growth to continue to evolve and strengthen with time. Not sure if this all makes sense, but maybe some of it does.
Just some thoughts I had tonight, and as always, have a good night and I’ll be back tomorrow with another entry on the blog.
Last weekend before I’m officially a year older, and it’s Gemini season, as the title implies. Feeling quite optimistic, and I do know that I’m writing this at almost midnight, which usually doesn’t happen.
I really want to write this weekend, I just need to find my creative side and the right words for how I’m feeling and have felt in recent months.
This post might be short as I’m tired, but I’m hoping to get into more detail over the next few days or the next week. Until tomorrow’s post (or more, we’ll see) have a great Friday and let this Gemini season begin!
Saying goodbye is the hardest thing, especially when the person does not recognize who you are anymore and you could not communicate due to a language barrier that once didn’t exist, not to mention the distance between you and I for the longest of time. That’s what happened in the months before you left this Earth.
Today marks five years without the most loving, compassionate, selfless grandmother a young woman could ever have wished for. It feels just like yesterday when I got the call no one wants to get.
As much as I tried to prepare myself for this moment to arrive because I understood that it was inevitable, it was still one of the most painful moments of my life. Talking about this woman in the past-tense never gets easier, the first few years of grieving the loss, I truly felt numb, crying felt impossible because I was so in denial.
To this day, I cherish our last conversation. You said my name in such a delicate tone, you asked me how my day was, and you said you loved me.
Whenever I have a moment of sadness, or just a tough day in general, I think of you and I smile. You showed me what it means to be strong, your bravery and strength through it all was powerful beyond words, you are truly my hero, my guardian angel above, alongside the other beautiful souls who are up there with you.
What has also made me feel closer to my late grandmother is one of middle names, which is hers and it is right next to my first name, I really find comfort in that. And I also find comfort in faith, because my grandmother kept it near and dear to her heart all her life, until the end.
Immensely grateful for the years I got to know you, you’ll always be so important to me and remembered for your kind heart, nurturing nature and a lot more.
Grief can be such a wake-up call, it makes you appreciate life, love and family more than ever. Of course, bear in mind, the complexity will always be there, regardless of time.
Cherish the ones you love, be kind, take care of you and others and God bless you all.