dark

State Of Acceptance

Might be a blog post, or a rant, perhaps a poem that sounds out of sync. We’ll see…

Continue reading →

Poem: paper-thin apologies

This is a poem I wrote tonight. I wasn’t planning to, neither did I think I was going to write one at all. But I did, and I wanted to post it on the blog. Not the best thing I’ve written, yet not the worst either. Enjoy.

Submerged with all these fears

They look through her like glass

Eyes stained with cruelty and spite

You find your way through the cracks

Of her broken mind

Like the river of tears

That fills her eyes

And runs down her face

Mila. Xo

Advertisement

I Passed My Course!

This post is going to be more upbeat and positive than the last few (or perhaps I should say ten?)

Yes, still got a lot of things on my mind currently which has been very challenging and awful for my mental health, but I’m still trying to get through life with gratitude and strength.

So, that being said: I passed my course!

Not entirely surprised, I did have a good feeling about taking the exam, so that was nice.

Excuse the lateness of my recent posts on the blog. A lot is on my mind, so bear with me.

Have a great evening, everyone.

Mila. Xo

Anxious Mind

That feeling when you have things to do tomorrow, but your racing mind has other plans. Honestly, this anxiety has been weighing heavy on me.

All I want right now is some clarity, peace of mind and to know some people are okay.

Sundays are usually the best part of the week, but it’s been very bittersweet.

Faith definitely has kept me grounded in times where I’ve struggled the most.

Grateful for the Lord, my family, my friends and more. Have gratitude for all things in life.

Mila. Xo

Hopeful Thinking

Thoughts all over the place, especially in the last week.

Despite the stresses of it all, I’m still trying to be hopeful. Proves difficult when you’re anxious about certain things, I must admit.

Was thinking to write more this weekend, but it doesn’t necessarily feel right.

Any kind of outlet in the written sense is good enough, for the time being.

I’ll be back tomorrow, but I truly hope everyone has a good evening, stay safe and take care.

Mila. Xo

Scared To Fail

We all have our fears, and those moments of being scared to fail. Whether it’s work related, academically or any other challenge we face as life progresses on.

Truth be told, people achieve things at different stages of life, and that’s okay. We don’t all have it figured out at 18, 25, or even in our 30’s.

In the society we currently find ourselves a part of, we’ve been conditioned to believe that success is measured in the superficial, idealistic and materialistic.

Yes, some might be more knowledgeable, confident and perhaps better equipped than others. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s contribution as a whole is not as important.

The idea that we’re only worthy of a decent life if we work more hours than our mind can handle, and we look a certain way, act a certain way. Keeping up appearances might be sustainable in the short-term, but the facade of it all will come crashing down, eventually.

Don’t even get me started on how much I can’t stand the hypocrisy of equality and the lack of it in society. We have a lot of laws in place about treating people fairly, but so much of it is just empty words at this point.

Nothing is ever what it appears to be, I know that much.

Different rules apply for different people, which has been in plain sight for many years. We have a long way to go until we achieve any kind of fairness in the world. There’s a lot to work on, and only time will tell how that goes.

When some people say “reality is stranger than fiction”, it’s safe to say, you’re right. If the world needs more of anything, I can think of quite a few things.

The world needs more compassion, fairness, love, empathy, kindness.

I just hope humanity changes for the better.

Mila. Xo

Out Of Place

Societal pressures and the irony of so-called “encouragement” when it comes to being your authentic self is a lot for anyone.

Feeling out of place can weigh heavy on your mind. We’re told our differences make us unique, and that humanity is evolving and becoming more equal, but is it really?

The hypocrisy of it all. If I’m being completely honest, not much has changed.

Yes, there’s been improvements along the way, but we have a long way to go until the world is a more equal, kind place.

Toxicity is all around us; the places we work, the people we know. As much as I strive to be enthusiastic, there comes a time where you see it all for how it is.

It’s so confusing to live in a world where individuality is either praised or not accepted.

When all you want is to just be you, but other people make that so difficult.

The game of life is hard to play, you never know what’s going to happen next. All you can do is hope that it will all be okay.

One day, the puzzle pieces will fall into place and maybe, a bit of peace will come from that.

Who knows. Anyway, I hope I’m not rambling, although this was something I wanted to talk about today.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Mila. Xo

Temporary Distractions

Nostalgia and apathy, contradictory mix of the mind’s emotional response, and lack thereof. Workouts and staying productive takes the edge off to some extent.

I don’t know what’s worse, suppression of this reality or accepting that these thoughts and feelings exist?

Both are equally hard to navigate. If only I could articulate them into words and make art of it all. I always find it easier to write about darker subjects, or so it used to be.

Might look into writing submissions and story competitions, get my creativity in shape, as silly as that may sound. I understand you have to go with the flow, but my impatience can make that very difficult.

On a lighter note, I just realized that tomorrow marks three years since I published my second poetry collection via Blurb, A Cryptic Human Entity.

I can’t believe it, honestly. Three whole years tomorrow.

Will post a link to it on the next post, to commemorate this beautiful, precious moment in time. You can also find it quite easily online.

I do regret the lack of promotion when it first was published, but again, there was a lot going on in life the first months of it being out for the world to see.

That being said, I’ll always be proud of my work, regardless of who buys it or what happens next. For me, just holding the book in my hands was incredible and emotional.

Writing has always been a part of my life, something I hold near and dear to my heart and soul. I’m not the best at it, but I’ve still got a lot of learning and growing to do. My story is still being written as we speak.

It has gotten me through a lot of difficult times, so has this blog of mine too. It’s not just self-expression or art in written form, it’s therapy, a sanctuary.

Mila. Xo





Nostalgia Hurts

I wasn’t sure if I felt like writing at all today, but I knew I’d feel better if I did. Tried my best to remain busy and productive, which I think I was successful with.

As the title states quite clearly: Nostalgia hurts.

Not always the case, might I add. But for me…it weighed heavy on my shoulders like a ton of bricks today, for a lot of reasons. There’s been a lot of personal development in terms of how I deal with this as it happens.

So, that’s at least one positive way to look at a complicated situation.

That being said, I’ve still felt struck by thoughts going a thousand miles per hour. If anything, it’s a lesson of life. Knowing how to explain this feeling in a structured manner proved difficult regardless.

Right now, I just want to focus on my writing, and enjoy the weekend to the best of my ability. Part of me wants to stay up late, the responsible part of me wants to rest and be up early in the morning.

Always a clash between the two, but I’ll leave it up to my intuition and see where it takes me. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Mila. Xo